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DUmmie FUnnies 05-03-05 ("Kerry: 'I Think These People are Extremists'")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | May 3, 2005 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 05/03/2005 6:11:47 AM PDT by PJ-Comix

Poor John Kerry. He is wasting his last reserves of energy in a completely fruitless task. Since losing the election, Kerry has worked harder in just those few months than he had in his entire senate career prior to the election. Why? Because Kerry is actually under the delusion that he will be re-nominated again in ’08. Face the fact, Johnny Boy. You have NO chance of being nominated in ’08. Hillary already has that nomination in the bag and there isn’t even a chance in hell that you will gain it again. The only result of all the incredible effort you are putting up to look like you are still relevant is that you will be going down hard, very HARD when you realize in a few years that you have been completely WASTING your time trying to reach for the prize that is beyond your grasp. Yes, it will be quite amusing to observe your volcanic anger when you finally figure out that you could have been relaxing all this time snowboarding or windsurfing or just lounging on the porch of Teh-RAY-suh’s Nantucket mansion. Of course, you won’t heed the advice to bow to the inevitable and spend your final years enjoying life. Instead, you will plow on, burning out body and soul seeking that which will NEVER be yours. The latest pathetic episode of Kerry Quest occurred when Kerry cast aspersions upon the Bush administration as you can see in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “Kerry: ‘I Think These People are Extremists’.” Um, Kerry, have you ever taken a look at the WACKY posts in Dummieland? If not, then I suggest you start adding the DUmmie FUnnies to your reading list so you can learn that the REAL extremists are in YOUR camp. As usual, the extremist DUmmie rantings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, anticipating the comedy entertainment of Kerry’s inevitable fall, is in the [brackets]:

Why hasn't the Bush administration acted? "I think these people are extremists, it's very simple," he said.

[Thus spaketh John Kerry in a Seattle Pilot-Intelligencer story as he continues his perpetual quest for the presidency.]

You go, John! He's asking us all to get out in the streets! How much longer will it take for a revolution...velvet revolution, of course?

[Of course. Of course. But of course you really want a Bolshevik Revolution.]

I think this is why people busted their ass for you John. You know, that time span you took off during the time period after you knew you had the nomination and November 2nd to beat these fascist bastards in the ground, but instead you went out windsurfing and making a general dork out of yourself. The people also squeezed the blood out of turnips so you would run attack ads bashing Bush so we could save this f*cking country and trusting you to stand up and fight, but you didn't. You know what John just shut the f*ck up and do your job because your never ever again getting another shot at the white house.

[True but it is going to be a lot of FUN to watch Kerry go down hard when the ’08 nomination goes to Hillary instead. The Kerry fall will be HILARIOUS in its angry collapse.]

The right wing would just love it if he shut up and went away. SO HE'S NOT GOING TO DO IT.

[Great! That means even MORE funny DUFU editions.]

Thanks Mr.Kerry for doing your job and working for us. We appreciate it.

[Thanks Mr. Kerry for the wonderful work you are doing for us. And we just KNOW that you will be signing Form 180 because you gave your solid promise that you would do so.]

I met people that actually believed in the swift boat shit.

[Kerry has effectively countered that by PROMISING to sign his Form 180.]

He is doing something in Ohio. Google the name Don McTigue and Ohio if you don't believe me. He's just not jumping up and down like an idiot with no good proof. He's obsessive compulsive, not lazy. And a prosecutor who wouldn't come traipsing out without good, hard evidence.

[Can I also Google the name Bev Harris?]

Did he really lose? That's the million dollar question. Find out about The Republican Noise Machine and you might understand it all better and not blame Kerry. Try Google.

[Anytime we want actual PROOF that the election was stolen, the DUmmies just sigh and tell us to Google the facts. Of course they never tell us HOW the election was stolen. Only that we can find out if we check Google.]

But if he did win, and there was fraud, then maybe it wasn't such a lousy campaign after all. Because, after all, he won, didn't he.

[Of course Kerry won. And I promise I will find out how as soon as I check Google.]

At least he's doing what he should have been doing for years.

[You mean actually WORKING for the first time in his senate career?]

I want to personally thank you for flaming my thread! All you've done is whine and drop "doo" in it. Some people on DU actually care about what John Kerry is doing and believe in him.

[I believe the correct term for those people is “suckers.”]

go Johnny go go go ! keep doin it, the people need to know. If anyone needs to hang their heads, it is us the people who failed you.

[WE ARE NOT WORTHY!!!]

The spotlight is his if he wants it and if he keeps making noises like this he will get it. Keep it comin' John!

[Johnny Boy can make all the flatulent noises he wants but HILLARY will get it.]

It's kind of interesting watching him slowly build up, isn't it. He says he's still fired up. I wonder how long he can keep that up. We need him fired up. He's the Incredible Hulk when he's fired up. He just keeps cranking the rhetoric up a notch each time he opens his mouth. He was nearly ranting last week after the Frist appearance at "Justice Sunday."

[Soon Kerry will be reaching the Al Gore levels in the ranting department.]

Kerry needed a primal scream like Dean, instead he he nuanced his way to extinction.

[YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!]

That's it, John. Seize the fire.

[Seize the Form 180.]

Give um' hell, Senator Kerry! Extremists is right! And we need more of our Dem leaders to become as vocal and direct as Senator Kerry... these Extremists groups that I call "Cults" are seeping into our Government from local, on up to the Hill

[And don’t forget the DUmmie Cult filled with their bizarre cryptic language of MIHOP, IHOP, BFEE, PNAC, etc..]

He could strip nekkid, set himself on fire all while reading a speech blasting Bush, and the only notice he'd get from the MSM is if they needed a light for their ciggie butts.

[I prefer NOT to be around when Kerry strips nekkid.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: andyscam; dummies; johnkerry; thestupid
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I BEEEEEEEEEELEEEEEEVE Mary Matalin will offer me a HUGE contract for the DUmmie FUnnies book (with CD-ROM insert for the related comix stories). I BEEEEELEEEEVE that Mary Matalin will contact me at: PJ-Comix. And if she doesn't, no problem. I will create my own alternate reality where this does happen.

Right now DUmmieland is like a soap opera with the Undie Stephenson money raising drama. Will the "money lady" at Johns Hopkins receive the $$$ today from the Stephenson bag man as was promised would happen yesterday? Or will DUmmie UNdie split for warmer climes outside the USA? Stay tuned for the next episode of "General Hospital" or should it be titled, "As the DUmmie Squirms?" I am assigning franksolich to keep us updated on the latest turn of events in this DUmmie soap opera.

Let me know if you want on the DUmmie FUnnies PING List.

1 posted on 05/03/2005 6:11:47 AM PDT by PJ-Comix
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To: Xenalyte; RMDupree; AlexW; CzarNicky; Mike Fieschko; motzman; codercpc; thingumbob; tje; ml1954; ...

PING!


2 posted on 05/03/2005 6:14:15 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix

First Maybe?


3 posted on 05/03/2005 6:14:59 AM PDT by speed_addiction (I like to watch the children running and squealing. You see, they don't know I am using blanks!)
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To: PJ-Comix
Face the fact, Johnny Boy. You have NO chance of being nominated in ’08. Hillary already has that nomination in the bag and there isn’t even a chance in hell that you will gain it again.

************

Another excellent thread, PJ.

However, I'm not so sure about ruling Kerry out. A lot can happen in the next few years. Stranger things have occurred.

4 posted on 05/03/2005 6:15:23 AM PDT by trisham ("Live Free or Die," General John Stark, July 31, 1809)
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To: PJ-Comix

6?


5 posted on 05/03/2005 6:16:11 AM PDT by eyespysomething (hmmm....)
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To: PJ-Comix

Early In .... YEAH.


6 posted on 05/03/2005 6:16:32 AM PDT by PetroniDE (We Don't Live in Texas Anymore --- State Name is Now TAXES !!)
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To: PJ-Comix

Does Kerry really think that? Now THAT'S delusional.


7 posted on 05/03/2005 6:18:52 AM PDT by nina0113
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To: PJ-Comix

Imagine how pathetic these guys are. Their idea of a hero is John Kerry...


8 posted on 05/03/2005 6:19:30 AM PDT by An Old Marine
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To: PJ-Comix

Top 10?


9 posted on 05/03/2005 6:19:57 AM PDT by Choose Ye This Day (DUmmies: What part of "pay any price, bear any burden, oppose any foe" don't you understand?)
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To: PJ-Comix
"Try Google."



Google holds all truths. Some of the Google truths Ive discovered.

Elvis really is alive.

Bush is an alien overlord from Omocron Persei eight.

Jeff Gannon is the love child of Madona and Yasser Arafat.
10 posted on 05/03/2005 6:20:05 AM PDT by cripplecreek (I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier!)
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To: trisham

If Hillary wants the nomination -- IT IS HERS. No one in the dem party dares cross the queen. NO ONE !!


11 posted on 05/03/2005 6:22:10 AM PDT by PetroniDE (We Don't Live in Texas Anymore --- State Name is Now TAXES !!)
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To: PJ-Comix

Thanks for the endorsement.

I'll bring up the latest DUmmie Andy Stephenson "updates" near the end of the thread, later on in the day, just like I've been doing the past three days, so as to not interfere with discussion of this edition of the most-excellent, always-excellent DUmmie FUnnies.


12 posted on 05/03/2005 6:22:21 AM PDT by franksolich (<<always intrigued by financial shenanigans by public figures)
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To: trisham
However, I'm not so sure about ruling Kerry out. A lot can happen in the next few years. Stranger things have occurred.

I don't see it happening for Kerry. For a failed candidate to have even the possibility of a chance he has to make bold stands, make himself viable. Kerry will continue to be his old nuanced self and right now, if anything he is apealling only to the kooks in the Democratic party. That is the faction that is driving people away in droves from their own party. He is done. Besides he has drawn the ire of Karl Rove and Underfuher Rove has already decided on Hillary.
13 posted on 05/03/2005 6:23:21 AM PDT by speed_addiction (I like to watch the children running and squealing. You see, they don't know I am using blanks!)
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To: PJ-Comix
Kerry needed a primal scream like Dean, instead he he nuanced his way to extinction.

Oh, that would have helped, he-he-ha.

14 posted on 05/03/2005 6:24:27 AM PDT by rdl6989 (If it drives the left into fits, its a good thing.)
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To: PJ-Comix
He's the Incredible Hulk when he's fired up.

"Mr. Rove, don't make me angry. Yooooouu. Wouldn't. Liiike. Me. When. I'm. Angry!" [pronounced in a haughty tone, of course]

15 posted on 05/03/2005 6:24:41 AM PDT by Choose Ye This Day (DUmmies: What part of "pay any price, bear any burden, oppose any foe" don't you understand?)
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To: cripplecreek

I "Yahoo-ed" yesterday (Monday) for news about Norway, for the famous Norway ping list, and one of the selections was a news-story about.....Poland.

Just like the time I used an "English-Danish dictionary" from Google, and I thought it was rather peculiar, because I kept recognizing the words.....it was giving me Spanish, rather than Danish.

One never knows about the internet and these "searches;" which is why I depend more upon word-of-mouth from reliable sources, first-hand sources, when looking into something.


16 posted on 05/03/2005 6:25:11 AM PDT by franksolich (<<always intrigued by financial shenanigans by public figures)
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To: PJ-Comix
The right wing would just love it if he shut up and went away. SO HE'S NOT GOING TO DO IT.

The right wing would love to see Frenchy and the Beast ripping each other to shreds in a primary.

Throw Deany Baby in, as well and have a ménage à trois.

17 posted on 05/03/2005 6:28:40 AM PDT by dinasour (Pajamahadeen)
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To: PJ-Comix
That's it, John. Seize the fire.

"NNNNNGGHH!! BURNS! GGGGRRRRHHH! FIRE BAD!!! FIRE BAD!!!"

I can't keep up with the metaphors. Is John Kerry Frankenstein, or the Incredible Hulk? Which is he???

18 posted on 05/03/2005 6:29:05 AM PDT by Choose Ye This Day (DUmmies: What part of "pay any price, bear any burden, oppose any foe" don't you understand?)
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To: PJ-Comix
That's it, John. Seize the fire.


19 posted on 05/03/2005 6:29:46 AM PDT by prairiebreeze (Shut up Hillary.)
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To: dinasour

<<this "right wing" doesn't care if John-Boy yaps a mile a minute, or shuts up; it doesn't make any difference.


20 posted on 05/03/2005 6:29:51 AM PDT by franksolich (<<always intrigued by financial shenanigans by public figures)
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