Question for my Fellow Freepers...

March 23, 2005 | Hildy

[Hildy]

You are in your 20's, and you're visiting somebody in the hospital. You pass by a room where somebody is all contorted up, in a vegitative state. Would you say to your husband:

a)Honey, Don't ever let me live in that condition.

b )Honey, If I ever get like that, please make sure you do everything in your power, whatever the cost to you and our family, financially and emotionally, to keep me in that vegitative state no matter how long it takes. I want you to come and sit by my side every day and go home alone every night. I want to have strangers tend to my most personal needs. If I don't respond in four or five years, make sure I'm kept alive by a feeding tube in my stomach. And, most importantly, if you're not sure if I know what's going on around me, please err on the side of caution and keep me in that bed, indefinitely.

Remember, you're 24 years old. Which one would you pick?

[Trust but Verify]

The question is based on the assumption that she's in a vegetative state. She isn't.You cannot possibly know that.

[Hildy]

Did you see the post #98...what a beautiful way of putting it.

[Peach]

It's always so interesting to see freepers resort to personal attacks who can't argue the merits of their case. Pity really.

[Hildy]

Her parents even testified to it.

[the Deejay]

To add,

I was 25 yrs. old w/a hubby and three young kids.

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

I would say, "Oh that poor person. Isn't it nice that we have advanced to the point that we don't put people like that on ice flows for the polar bears to eat?"

[pieces of time]

Personally, something like that said casually has no weight. It's like saying I'd love to own that car, or I'd love to bed down with......

If someone was really serious about life support, it would be mentioned not just to your spouse, but YOUR parents or siblings, close friends as well. Why? In loving relationships, you would want to make sure that all concerned parties were on the same page. If it was something said seriously, more people would know about your concerns and wishes.

To relate this to the Schiavo case: From all indications, the husband, HIS sister and her husband are the witnesses to Terri's statement after viewing a movie. Terri, by all accounts, was very close to her parents, siblings and had a few very close friends. No one else heard anything about this. IF she were estranged from her family, or didn't live close to them and had rare contact, maybe his story would go down better. It contradicts everything family and friends knew about her. I'm not saying it's impossible but it sure seems highly unlikely that if Terri was serious, she would have mentioned it to others she loved.

[Trust but Verify]

Puhleeze. Why should we believe them? /sarcasm

[AQGeiger]

If that's an honest answer, then I thank you. And I intend to stand by my statement. You will never see me on a Terri thread again.

My answer was completely honest. I resent the insinuation that I was being dishonest.

Now that I have answered your question, I was hoping I might ask a question of you. I've observed many of your posts on this matter, and find that you have an almost existential need to be correct. You can't simply agree to disagree with another poster who holds a different view. Why is it so important to you that you be "right" on this matter?

[Hildy]

No it's not. My point is if most people knew what it meant and meant down the line after time, they wouldn't possibly say "keep me alive." I

[Hildy]

SO sensitive. I wasn't insinuating anything.

[Hildy]

What are you talking about? I have a belief...like you. I'm standing up for my belief...like you. I don't see anyone else agreeing to disagree with ME. Why am I to be held to a higher standard?

[Ann Archy]

Yes....pitiful, Peachy.

[Scarlet7]

If someone can post the video link of Terri opening her eyes would they please do so for Hildy. The site is TERRISFIGHT.org Thanks for Terri's sake!

[E-Mat]

""Honey, I sure chose well years ago when I asked you to dance instead of your friend Hildy."

Amen to that.
BTW, whatever happened to Hildy? Is she still making up those stupid test questions or did they pull the plug on her for working in a vegetative state?

[infidel29]

Neither of your points are correct. It's not hard for me to come to grips with, nor is it a direct question, question (b) is clearly biased unless you're Mary Mapes in disguise. I feel sorry for you if you view yourself or the one you may come to love as being that cold hearted as to feel like caring for a spouse is such a burden. See Boot Hill reply #44

[Hildy]

People in PVS have their eyes open.

[Hildy]

You keep missing my point. It's not about me. It's about what the other person wants.

[socialismisinsidious]

Your choices are a bit lopsided..a lot like the questions in those ABC poles.

Also, "You pass by a room where somebody is all contorted up..." I know one thing, that I would not want to be judged by the way I look. I am a physical therapist and have worked with numerous "all contorted up" people who were smart, loved and valued. Vanity has no place in health care especially from those of us who are looking in.

Giving someone food is not heroic and it is not health care. Starving someone is inhumane and would not be tolerated if Terri were a dog.

This entire right to die argument in based on assumptions...assumptions of how awful it must be, assumptions about recovery, assumptions that the husband isn't lying his frigging face off....

If you really don't want to live "that way" then put it in writing. Terri didn't put it in writing.

[Hildy]

I don't know E-Mat, why don't you ask her since you felt it necessary to read her vanity.