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DUmmie FUnnies 01-05-05 (Emperor Palpatine Threatens to Arrest DUmmie)
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | January 5, 2005 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 01/05/2005 6:08:34 PM PST by PJ-Comix

NEVER harass Emperor Palpatine. That is something that DUmmie Andy Stephenson (aka God_bush_n_cheney) should have known when be entered an elevator and started bugging Senator Frank Lautenberg (NJ) about “vote fraud.” In case the name of Andy Stephenson rings a bell, he was unceremoniously fired recently by con artist, Bev Harris. Now Stephenson is apparently acting as an independent agent. Too bad he bothered the LEAST FRIENDLY Senator of them all. I don’t know how Frank “Emperor Palpatine” Lautenberg became a senator but it certainly wasn’t due to his charm which is non-existent nor his looks which are truly frightening. You can read about this HILARIOUS elevator encounter in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “Senator Lautenberg threatens to arrest Andy Stephenson.” Let us now begin with an account of the elevator encounter posted by Andy’s DUmmie friend, straw_citizen. The DUmmie comments are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, watching the scene from the Death Star, is in the [brackets]:

“To the people of NJ from Andy Stephenson.

I just spoke with Frank Lautenberg in the elevator. I first asked Senator Lautenberg if he had a few minutes to talk to me. He said yes. I began to talk to him about the voting issues I found in Florida and Ohio. He couldn’t get out of the elevator quick enough.

Being the tenacious person I am, I followed him out and asked, “Senator won’t you please look at the evidence? Won’t you please stand with Mr. Conyers? Won’t you please stand for the American People?”

Mr. Lautenberg said, ”I don’t want to hear this.”

I said, “Mr. Lautenberg, I have seen the evidence, I’ve seen it with my own eyes. I discovered it.

To which he replied, “If you don’t leave me alone and stop harassing me, I will have you arrested.”

I said to Mr. Lautenberg, “If you stand with Mr. Conyers, you will be a hero.”

Senator Lautenberg said, “I am a hero. I was in World War II.”

I replied, “You won’t be in the eyes of the American people if you don’t stand up with Mr. Conyers tomorrow.”

Catherine for Andy Stephenson

["Use your aggressive feelings, boy. Let the hate flow through you.”]

You know you've arrived when you've been threatened with arrest by a Senator.

[And by the Emperor Palpatine.]

Is this the Andy who was auditing Warren County?

[Also the Andy who was zapped by Bev Harris after slaving as her flunky.]

He doesn't want to even HEAR it??? Unreal!!

[Ordinary mortals are not to directly address the Emperor Palpatine.]

Andy You Are The MAN! and Lautenburg? you are NO f*cking hero. You are a coward and an asshole! These Democrats avoiding this issue are shooting themselves in the face!

[“The hate is swelling in you now. Take your Jedi weapon. Use it. I am unarmed. Strike me down with it. Give in to your anger! With each passing moment you make yourself more my servant.”]

that's weird, I just heard that Lautenberg would be standing up with and signing on with Conyers. Lautenberg is the Senator who brought a poster with a picture of a Chickenhawk and it's definition to the Senate floor. Doens't seem like the same guy who would run from Andy.

[“Oh no, my young Jedi. You will find that is is you who are mistaken, about a great many things.”]

But we should make a big deal of this I think its ridiculous that a senator threatens to arrest a citizen for a request like this - are there no progressive local newspapers who will report this?

[Have no fear. The DUmmie FUnnies is reporting to the entire galaxy the aggression of the Emperor Palpatine.]

This is a legitimate thread and everything is true.

I had my friend, straw_citizen post this for me here and elsewhere because I have no access to a computer today.

Please call Lautenberg's office and voice your displeasure. I'm at a Kinko's paying by the hour so I'll check in tomorrow or later this evening when I can get to a computer.

Andy

[Kinko’s? Interesting. Is this Kinko’s in Texas and do you happen to know a Lucy Gonzalez (or was it Ramirez)?]

wow, there's another thread about freepers having called the Senators offices today and been extremely well 'freeperlike', that is to say stupid, rude, and offensive. Perhaps they got to Frank and then one more person talking to him got the bad reaction. He is usually a stand-up guy. See poster above that he brought to the Senate floor. I am shocked and sad. I was just about to send a fax to him. I thought he was one of our best shots. So sorry you were treated that way Andy. Sorry for doubting your friend's original post.

[So you are blaming the Emperor Palpatine’s aggressive attitude on Freepers? Ever consider that he might have had that sour disposition since birth?]

NEWSFLASH!! Heroes don't refer to themselves as "Heroes!" "I am a hero. I was in WW11." What the hell does that have to do with election fraud? What a puss!

[“Your work here is finished, my friend. Go out to the command ship and await my orders.”]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dummies; emperorpalpatine; franklautenberg
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To: PJ-Comix

LOL. Now I know why Lostenberg is such a gun grabber. So he can be even more of a jackass!


41 posted on 01/05/2005 7:26:38 PM PST by Dan from Michigan ("Don't flatter yourself - peewee!" - Tango and Cash)
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To: PJ-Comix

That is a freaking riot of a story. Love it! I can just see those folks leaving the elevator.

You should have gotten off with them and watched their reactions.


42 posted on 01/05/2005 7:30:04 PM PST by Chuck54
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To: Chuck54
That is a freaking riot of a story. Love it! I can just see those folks leaving the elevator.

Even weirder was that months later I heard an account of that incident mentioned on CNN. They said it was one way of dealing with unpleasant business encounters of the type that I faced. Okay, I'm not 100% sure they were referring to me but I did tell that account to quite a few people and it wouldn't surprise me if the story seeped up to a CNN reporter.

I originally got that garlic idea from an Armenian auto mechanic I knew. He ate some sort of Armenian breakfast everyday that included a lot of garlic. His breath was intolerable. I mean you just could not stand near him when he spoke. So I figured if just some garlic additive would have that effect, eating raw elephant garlic would be MUCH WORSE which it was.

43 posted on 01/05/2005 7:41:20 PM PST by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix
I love this line... NEWSFLASH!! Heroes don't refer to themselves as "Heroes!"
Tell that to John Kerry, DUmbass...
Little do the DUmmies know with each passing moment they make themselves more OUR servants.
44 posted on 01/05/2005 7:42:05 PM PST by mysto ("I am ZOT-proof" --- famous last words of a troll.)
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To: PJ-Comix
I Blog Books...freepers having called the Senators offices today and been extremely well 'freeperlike', that is to say stupid, rude, and offensive...

Unlike, of course, scam-artist's secretaries buttonholing Senators in person and harrassing them in the elevator between floors where they can't escape.

Good call, PJ, typical DUmmie, typically FUnnie...
45 posted on 01/05/2005 8:01:46 PM PST by dr_pat (it's only sarcasm if you don't read too carefully...)
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To: PJ-Comix

Next time, get an apron with "Alphonso's Italian Food" on it (or a blank one and use a marker).

Hey, when the moon hits your eye... :)


46 posted on 01/05/2005 8:03:52 PM PST by freedumb2003 (My DU name is Bunny Planet and I don't care who knows it! Everyone reveal yours!)
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To: All

I changed my mind. There WILL be a DUFU AM edition tomorrow.


47 posted on 01/05/2005 8:04:02 PM PST by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix

That reminds me of a joke, Two democraps walk into an elevator........take if from here, gang....



PS....Elephant Garlic Story = Classic


48 posted on 01/05/2005 8:06:41 PM PST by Dashing Dasher (Because I fly, I envy no (wo)man on earth. - Anon)
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To: PJ-Comix
What do you mean... No DUFU AM edition tomorrow but there will be a lot of material for the PM edition.

I'm paying for both an AM and PM edition and I want both. I'll be contacting the FCC or, uhm, the Federal Internet Commission, somebody in the Federal Government will hear about this. You can't get away with this.

49 posted on 01/05/2005 8:10:38 PM PST by daguberment (The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish....)
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To: PJ-Comix

Thank you, thank you, thank you! Giggles first thing in the morning with my coffee! No place but FR!


50 posted on 01/05/2005 8:11:22 PM PST by Sally'sConcerns (It's painless to be a monthly donor!)
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To: daguberment

Check my reply #47 above. I said that I changed my mind and there WILL be a DUFU AM edition tomorrow.


51 posted on 01/05/2005 8:13:44 PM PST by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: Dashing Dasher

Don't even try chewing and swallowing raw elephant garlic unless you absolutely have to. It is a NASTY experience. Only thing that saved me was that I had a water bottle in my car to quickly swallow after ingesting that garlic.


52 posted on 01/05/2005 8:16:17 PM PST by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix
Senator Lautenberg said, “I am a hero. I was in World War II.”

Absolutely classic! ROTFLMAO!

53 posted on 01/05/2005 8:25:20 PM PST by killjoy (My kid is the bomb at Islam Elementary!)
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To: daguberment; PJ-Comix; All; Jim Robinson

To hold us over, this just showed up on their homepage (http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x2907807)

So they one again silence their own people. Goodness knows we have a lot of crazy theorists here, but unless the theory is directly offensive, we let it air. But they are sooo afraid of being labelled "kooks" they now have a policy of supression.

Big difference between Zotting/removing anti-conservative thought and just whacking eveyone with an embarrasing-to-us theory.

Jim, I know you usually just want to ignore DU, but they ARE funny, and the qualitative difference between our rules and theirs speaks volumes about their notions of "freedom."




"How we feel about kooky tsunami conspiracy theories

We think they're a bunch of crap, and we believe most -- if not all -- DU members think they're a bunch of crap. We do not wish to see them posted on our website. If anyone posts a kooky tsunami conspiracy theory on our website, we would like to know about it so we can remove it and then investigate the person who posted it as a possible troll."


54 posted on 01/05/2005 8:26:23 PM PST by freedumb2003 (My DU name is Bunny Planet and I don't care who knows it! Everyone reveal yours!)
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To: freedumb2003
maybe this is why?

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=203x244053

Someday I'll learn to post a link correctly.
55 posted on 01/05/2005 8:40:39 PM PST by birbear (Whiskey for my men, beer for my horses.)
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To: birbear; John Robinson

You usually get the link "for free."

For example, if you give a full URL, FR creates rhe link:

So for google, just by tyoing the URL, we should get the link too. http://www.google.com

But sometimes FR just doesn't.

There is no HTML in this post -- if you post with HTML you have to do all the work. If you just do plain text, FR helps a lot (thank John Robinson, Jim's kid, who is quite the tech wizard)


56 posted on 01/05/2005 8:54:40 PM PST by freedumb2003 (My DU name is Bunny Planet and I don't care who knows it! Everyone reveal yours!)
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To: freedumb2003
that's what I thought, but then I noticed my links weren't working.

http://www.google.com

Oh bother.
57 posted on 01/05/2005 8:59:09 PM PST by birbear (Whiskey for my men, beer for my horses.)
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To: PJ-Comix

Have you seen this?

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=announcement&id=135


58 posted on 01/05/2005 9:00:16 PM PST by Dashing Dasher (Because I fly, I envy no (wo)man on earth. - Anon)
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To: PJ-Comix
Senator Lautenberg said, “I am a hero. I was in World War II.”

[vomit]

I've never known of a true hero to protest "I AM a hero."

59 posted on 01/05/2005 9:02:06 PM PST by Petronski (I'm not *always* cranky.)
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To: feinswinesuksass
Not being a Star Wars geek...I didn't get it either....until that photo was posted.

Not being a Star Wars geek...I still don't get it!

60 posted on 01/05/2005 10:35:32 PM PST by jellybean (Free Ol' Crusty!)
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