Posted on 12/27/2004 8:42:48 AM PST by Houmatt
I am not sure I know where to begin.
On Friday, December 17, I was arrested and charged with a Class B Misdemeanor, the first time I have been arrested and charged with anything.
Over the next seven days and six nights that I spent in the custody of the authorities awaiting bail, I found my wife of six years, the woman I had given my life and love to, had decided she had had enough of me, saying I had hurt her emotionally and she could trust, rely on or understand me. She intends to file for divorce next month.
I would guess I should have seen this coming. She had told me the feelings she had had for me before were not the same, and this was something she had been agonizing over for a while. It is not easy when the woman you love and are married to lives 200 miles away across the border in Canada. She would come over once a month and stay a weekend, but there was a five month period this year when she had been out of work due to an infection in her right leg. As I am sure you can understand, separation does not always make the heart grow fonder.
What I do know is I love her very, very much. She was my best friend, my lifeline, my reason for being. She helped fill the void in my life. I could apologize ten thousand times and tell her that, yes, I was not the husband she expected me to be. I know I failed her, and I not about to stand in her way when it comes to divorcing me, even if I am of the ilk those vows I took over six years ago were supposed to mean something. She needs a release, to not have to worry about getting me up to Canada or if I have money or food anymore. She needs that break.
I just would like it if we could at least be speaking terms, waving hi to each other on the phone or the net, trading e-mails and cards and so forth.
The other thing that scares me though is the possibility I may go back to jail. Even if it is my first offense, and a misdemeanor, I may still go back. Those days I had been inside scared me like nothing else in a very long time. I know I did something incredibly stupid and there is not a moment where I do not think about how I should have turned left instead of right that day. I also know I must take responsibility for my actions. I just don't want to go back to jail.
I have been praying ever since then for two simple things:
1) Terri (my wife) can receive the solace she is searching for and want to at least talk to me again.
2) That I get probation.
For those that are wondering: I have done enough stupid things. That is one stupid thing I will never do.
As much as I hate to admit it, yes, men do cry. I am right now. I am sorry.
Dear Houmatt, place your trust in the Lord. He does not assign burdens too heavy for us to carry. If the load nonetheless seems crushing, ask Him to help you carry it. You never know, but in the end much good may come from what now seems so irredeemably bad and difficult for you. I'll be praying for you and your wife. God bless each of you, and by His Light and Grace lead you to His love, truth, and peace.
Amen Betty boop!
If you must know, I will Freepmail you.
Prayers going up.
I know my marriage is over. But I emotionally invested seven years of my life into that woman. She was the one I turned to when I needed someone to talk to; when I was lonely or upset.
I can assure you there is not a single person on this planet who knows me better than she does.
I am reminded of the song Against All Odds (Take A Look At Me Now):
How can I just let you walk away?
Just let you leave without a trace?
When I stand here taking every breath with you, ohoo
You're the only one who really knew me at all
How can you just walk away from me?
When all I can do is watch you leave?
Cuz we shared the laughter and the pain
and even shared the tears
You're the only one who really knew me at all
Crap, I always thought that song was depressing...even more so now.
Please see post #25.
Strive for at least a civil relationship.
You will find another. Probably right here on FR. ;-).
I don't understand why you and she lived 200 miles apart, her in Canada and you in New York. Was that the arrangement for the entire six years of the marriage?
Why didn't one of you join the other and make a home in one country or the other?
Please post your replies to Houmatt
Houmatt, My prayers going up for you right now. God's love and protection in your life. Also praying for your wife...that she may find what she needs most...peace. I am sorry you have gone through these things, and I will keep you in my prayers.
Blessings,
trussell
If you want on/off my prayer ping list, please let me know. All requests happily honored.
Carolyn
Prayers sent.
A big part of your rehab, is coming clean on why you were arrested. If you're unwilling to face that reality, I for one, am not willing to offer help.
I will pray that you both find comfort and peace.
My advice is pray about it and then let it go. Do what you think is right and trust the Lord to handle the rest. If I knew more I'd probably give the same advice.
Prayers for you, FRiend.
That happened last year, when the company she worked for sold off her division. We came up here, but she said she was going to live with her parents until she could get her own place to crash. For reasons still not clear to me, the option of living up there while we went through the motions was never explained to me. I would imagine her parents nixed the idea. I do not think Terri would have objected to it, as she lived with me for a year before we could get married and she got a work permit. While she got the odd pay from a telecommuting job, I was working and trying to support her.
Thank you. I am grateful more than words can say.
You got mail!
I am finding some people here do not need to know exactly what I did; for that I am grateful. I am sorry you do not feel the same.
I pray that your situation will improve, but remember "God helps those who help themselves".
You can stop being a jerk.
Get involved in a good, Bible-believing church, tell the pastor your problems, turn over a new leaf.
Good luck!
How am I being a jerk??
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