Posted on 11/30/2004 4:31:11 PM PST by PJ-Comix
The dirty little secret that Brian Williams has kept carefully hidden is that his name was originally Brad Wilson but he had to change it because it sounded too ethnic.
Anyway, since Brian Williams takes the helm from Brokaw after tomorrow's NBC News broadcast, this is a good time to post your own Brian Williams jokes on this thread. I'll leave you with yet one more Brian Williams joke:
Brian Williams once got lost on a camping trip but the bloodhounds couldn't track him down because he had no scent that they could follow.
What the heck is so "ethnic) about Wilson?
Brian Williams (aka Brad Wilson) spends so much time in the tanning booth, perhaps some eveing he'll anchor the news with a Kerryesque orange hue.
That's the joke
I think Christopher Walken would make a good anchor.
Long lost brother of Brian Wilson (of Beach Boy fame)?
As a certain Southern Senator used to say, "That's a joke, son."
Many years ago, NBC News sent Buddhist Monks out into the Middle West to scour the Anchorman farms to look for the Annointed One to succeed Tom Brokaw. The requirements of the Annointed One were that he must look like the most WASPy human being on the planet, have hair that would stary perfectly in place in a Mach 2 wind tunnel, and be so bland that even Bloodhounds couldn't detect a body scent. When Brian Williams was found, they hermetically sealed him off in a vaccuum bag to be opened only when ready to succeed Tom Brokaw. In celebration of the completion of their sacred task, the Buddhist Monks made a Mandalay Sand Painting in the design of a Happy Face and then dined on a feast of white bread and mayonaisse sandwiches.
"Let me have two yum-yum burgers and a strawberry shake to go."
You had to be there to get the joke because I made my voice the very stereotype of overperfect modulation. The future anchorman was NOT amused.
Oh, and almost all the Broadcast Journalism types were brain dead. They had NO INTEREST in anything except in their potential broadcast careers.
When Dan Quayle ran for Veep the MSM called him a male bimbo. They obviously had not yet met Brian Williams
You got it right. I was involved in radio during college, and worked as a jock for 4 years after college, and I ran across dozens of broadcast journalism interns and I never knew a more boring, self-serving group in my life. Except maybe the print journalism people, who also had an ideological chip on their shoulders.
The only people I know who talk like that about broadcast majors are print majors. The reason, of course, is that no one else noticed the broadcast majors and the print majors only noticed them because they had overlapping classes. I think they're all so bland and lackluster that they're drawn to broadcast journalism because it gives them an opportunity to be SEEN!
Can anyone even imagine Brian Wilson at a party? The guy is probably so careful of every word he says, that he says NOTHING of substance. Anyway, they should DUMP Journalism as a college major and especially Broadcast Journalism. Ernie Pyle was considered the best War Reporter ever and he didn't go to Journalism school. All Journalism schools do is produce a bunch of bland inbreds who all think alike. The Broadcast Journalist types are mostly liberal but not out of any real conviction but ONLY because that is the least controversial stance to take.
Is Brian Williams the one with the bent face?
I knew this guy and gal Broadcast Majors who were dating each other and they actually acted ALL THE TIME like they were co-anchors on some fictional program except they acted like that all the time in everyday life. They even dressed the part. And of course, they were BORING as hell but I have to admit they were funny to watch as they tried to live out their anchor job fantasies 24/7.
So many of them say nothing, because they know nothing. They are trained from the get go not to engage in critical thinking. They parrot whever is market tested.
I thought he just tilted his face just to give himself an "interesting" affectation.
It's funny - you say that and I start thinking of all the broadcast couples I knew. They do only date themselves, don't they? ;-)
Once, on a dare, I asked out Tawny Little, the ultimate braindead newscast type, out on a date. It was at a book convention at the L.A. Convention center. I did it on a dare. I walked up to her as soon as she got done with her broadcast in front of the camera and asked if she would like to have a drink with me. I knew beforehand that she would say no but I wasn't prepared for the reaction that she did give me---She just looked at me coldly as if I were the lowest form of garbage on the planet for daring to ask Her Highness out. Not a word did she speak. Just that ice cold stare.
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