DUmmie FUnnies 11-13-04 Special Edition (DUmmie Leader Skinner Threatens DUmmie FUnnies!!!)

Today’s DUmmie FUnnies is a SPECIAL EDITION featuring the pissed off ringleader of all DUmmies---Skinner himself. I hope you excuse the brevity of this edition of the DUmmie FUnnies but I think we need to devote this whole special edition analyzing Skinner and his threats to the DUmmie Funnies. You can see Skinner’s angry post in yesterday’s DUmmie FUnnies HERE. Obviously the poor fellow is upset that he and his fellow DUmmies are being turned into laughingstocks by the DUmmie FUnnies. Also note his extreme fear of a DUmmie FUnnies book. So is this REALLY Skinner of the DUmmies? Judging by his writing style, I say YES. So let us now subject DUmmie leader Skinner to the DUmmie FUnnies treatment. Skinner’s wild rantings and bizarre threats are in Bolshevik Red while the responses of your humble correspondent are in the [brackets]:

[And why would you doubt this is my real name, Skinner? My parents named me after my grandfather, PJ-Comix, Sr..]

this is a violation of copyright protections of the Democraticunderground.com.

[Then better flash this news to RatherBiased.Com which frequently quotes Dan Rather’s biased statements or the Media Research Center which quotes biased news sources extensively. Nope that copyright theory you made up won’t fly. Now if I were PLAGIARIZING the DUmmies and doing a Joe Biden and pretending the DUmmie posts were mine, you might have a point. Unfortunately for you, Skinner, I would NEVER claim the Dummie rantings are my original work.]

These threads that you are ridiculing are the intellectual property of the Democraticunderground.com and it's contributors.

[Intellectual and DUmmies are an oxymoron. Sorry if I am hurting your feelings, Skinner, by ridiculing the DUmmies. It really isn’t too hard. All I would need to do would just post stand alone DUmmie rantings but I also like to add my two cents as the humble correspondent. BTW, Skinner, you and your fellow Dummies are not shy about posting Freeper threads over there. I sure remember when you DUmmies “ridiculed” nervous Freepers on Election Day when the Exit Polls showed Kerry winning by a landslide. Oh, and do you remember who had the LAST LAUGH that day, Skinner? ]

[Oh yeah. I remember that law that Leftists must NOT be mocked. Too bad that law only exists in the Leftist Zone. In the real world (or at least in the USA) ridicule, satire, parody, etc. is constitutionally protected.]

[Earth to Skinner. Those are PUBLIC thoughts of your “progressive thinkers.” I shudder to think what their private thoughts are like.]

[My pants are soaking from the fear of your threat already, Skinner. BTW, you and your Dummie cohorts are already acting like cartoon characters. Oh, and I love your impression of a perturbed grade school teacher. DUmmie FUnnies WILL continue, Skinner. And I pray they will be published as a book because you and your fellow Leftists need to be exposed to the general public for what you REALLY ARE. That is what you fear, Skinner. But I’ll tell you what, Skinner. If the DUmmie FUnnies book is published, I will allow you to write the forward (uncensored) to the book. I think it would make for GREAT comedy material.]

Since the Marxists are still hurting from the Bush victory (more votes than "Anybody But Bush" COMBINED), I'll share this mixtape suggestion with them again (maybe some new lurkers will be exposed to it):

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I offer my mix tape for the Democrats who find themselves in a downward spiral after November 2nd/3rd. Please, no one share a needle as you nod off to this musical excursion... (new needles are best for your records)

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1 - Despair (Les Baxter with Bas Sheva) From Les Baxter's 1950s 10" album, The Passions comes this rarity. Les soothed post-war nerves with Pacific Rim inspired exotica. This is pure NEUROTICA. Abstract vocals from Ms. Sheva and pitched orchestra strains that would make Bernard "Psycho" Hermann cower in fear. Serves as an excellent prelude for the downward spiral.

Maybe some on the left can at least find solace in this extract of the liner notes from the album (it actually came in a BOX with a booklet, really a quality product:

The chief identifying characteristic of Despair is its bass sound. The eXtreme low musical notes should be distinctly audible on a wide range system, despite the fact that their resonancy is somewhat limited by the deadish thump of the bass drum accompanying them. < NOTE: doesn't this sound like something that NPR could be using as bumper music??? >

2 - Terror (Les Baxter with Bas Sheva) Also from Les Baxter's 1950s 10" album, The Passions, this is out of sequence from Les' original arrangement but it really is an appropriate album to return to and meld with the other cuts.
This song starts out as a typical fifties female vocal/lush orchestra cover of Baa Baa Black Sheep (find the irony in that among a demographic that votes in overwhelming numbers for one party). It then segues into a paranoid cover of London Bridge is Falling Down (This is turning into its own mega-mix). Then some gibberish moaning from Bas Sheva for awhile (akin to Yma Sumac without the vocal range). Brings to mind the phrase, "For 2 whole days, I layed(sic) in the corner drooling & making weird sounds".

3 - The Rubber Room (Porter Wagoner) NEXT STOP, THE RUBBER ROOM. Nothing is better than country music for crying in your beer.
Sample lyrics:

When a man sees things and hears sounds that's not there,
he's headed for the rubber room.
Illusions in a twisted mind to save from self-destruction.
hmm it's the rubber room.
Where a man can run into the wall
till his strength makes him fall and lie still...
And wait, for help, in the rubber room.
From his blurry vision of doom,
a psycho, in the rubber room.

4 - Your Cheatin' Heart (Hank Williams Sr.) - We will stay in the country mode a moment and pay tribute to those who tried their best to get Bush out of office but just didn't stand in line enough times on election day. This can also be taken as a personal note to those Nader voters who disagreed with Kerry's policies/history and wanted Howie "The Scream" Dean. Because of their lack of support, the Reform party will not present a taxpayer supported election funds "match" to keep a candidate from the right or the left in the race. Hillary is pleased.

5 - Insane in the Brain (Cypress Hill) This is a radical mixup from what has come before and that is just what the radicals wanted. Also this song will throw them into a dizzy tizzy.

6 - Don't Try Suicide (Queen) Michael Moore was the first prominent liberal to joke about it, MoveOn.org forwarded his "17 reasons NOT to slit your wrist" to the loyal lemmings, and now a man has killed himself at Ground Zero with a shotgun. Can we please get this song ON Clear Channel for the next week?

7 - Rocked By Rape (Dan Rather as remixed by The Evolution Control Committee) Long before "mashups" became a rage, culture jammers like the ECC were grafting some peoples words and lyrics onto other peoples beats with the involvement of neither party. Here Dan Rather presents the evening snooze over the backbeat of AC/DC's Back In Black (trust me folks, ALL of these cuts are genuine). In the song, Dan lists off a litany of disasters and tragedies. No one did more this election to illegally try to move the ball further down field and help Kerry "win".

8 - Danny Boy (trad. - Pogues version from the Straight To Hell Soundtrack, expanded 2-CD set just released in England, accompanied by Cait O'Riordan & the cast) "Oh Danny Boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling..." Exposed as a partisan hack and a fraud, this was likely the last election Dan Rather will helm.

"teetotaly moteetaly" (Babbling Dan on election night, 2004)

9 - Brain Damage (Pink Floyd) A picture is worth a thousand words.

"The lunatic is on the grass...":

10 - Hate (Les Baxter with Bas Sheva) Another of The Passions. Problems like these have to be worked through. They can require YEARS of psychoanalysis or maybe even "cleansing" by Scientologists < /sarcasm >. The hatred from the left has been consuming them from within. We all heard about the "disappearing" candidate signs for supporters of both parties but only one side had to deal with brownshirt activity like this:

11 - Teenage Lobotomy (Ramones) If you hoodlums don't settle down now we might have to give you one like Joe Kennedy did to his daughter Rosemary...

12 - We're Not The World (Culturcide and the USA For Africa "ALmost STAR" chorus) More culture jamming, this cut goes back to the mid-1980s when the lo-tech solution to making a mashup was to just sing (and play) directly over the original song. An international sensation, Culturcide remain a band with a difficult to find back catalog. Bruce Springsteen, Patti LaBelle, et al... What are these people still DOING on the stage 20 years later? Activist entertainers forget which profession pays the bills and tried to convert the masses. Church is free, y'all. $45 tickets mean you sing the damn song and keep your politics for another time. We aren't sitting quietly in the audience to hear your endorsements.

13 - Yesterday (The Beatles) Still an appropriate cut for the left. They had such hope. Today is the SAME as yesterday yet they are down in the dumps. Were they oppressed by Republicans? Move to a genuine dictatorship (one that gets 100% of the vote like Saddam and Fidel) before bitching please.

14 - Anticipation (Carley Simon) What would a liberal doom and gloom tape be without at least one 70s liberal New England fern bar singer? The left is only so down today because of their anticipation of their "payback".

15 - Lies (Thompson Twins)
A tribute to Zogby Polls, Exit Polls, Job Performance Polls, and the evening alphabet network soup, er news. Always remember, when you cook the books (accounting or surveys), always keep the genuine article in reserve so you can tell just how much you are off by. In the end, the pajama people showed the truth about those SeeBS National Guard memos. The difference between Zogbyism and McCarthyism is that there WERE Communists in US government whereas Bush WON.

lies, lies, lies, yeah
(they're gonna get you)
lies, lies, lies, yeah
(they won't forget you)

16 - Take Off (To The Great White North) (Bob & Doug McKenzie, featuring Geddy Lee of Rush) Some say that Rush's lyrics espouse Randian political theory, would "progressives" realize that they don't represent the same prog? Would they be tolerant enough to accept someone with a different political mindset? It may not matter in the end. The Canadian government has already told fleeing Americans that immigration in Canada is like their health care system; "Wait in line!". Canada only wants our draft dodgers and AWOL soldiers it seems. Better than calling for sedition against the government...

Let's end this thing on a high note. This is morning in America again.

17 - C'mon Get Happy (The Partridge Family) Come on, Mikey. Stop drowning your Soros (oops, sorrows) in a bucket of ice cream. Let's see a smile...

Excerpt: (lyrics by Wes Farrell and Danny Janssen)
Hello, world, here the song that we're singin'
C'mon get happy!
A whole lot of lovin' is what we'll be bringin'
We'll make you happy!
We'll make you happy!
We'll make you happy!

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