Oral-sex issue hits middle schools (posted 6/10/2002)

Lexington Herald Leader ^ | Jun. 09, 2002 | Valarie Honeycutt Spears

[scan58]

Conservative philosophy as it is today, is 'live as i say live'.

Well, that's definitely my philosophy when it comes to middle school children and sex. As adults, I think most of us have no problem with other adults living their life like they see fit. Middle school kids need guidance and positive peers.

[rwfromkansas]

It is considered fornication. It is not immoral for married couples.

[Hacksaw]

I should have bought a bag of popcorn for this thread!

[LowOiL]

Could it be that these girls are gearing up fo a marriage

Looks to me like they are gearing up for multiple unhappy marriages.

Low OiL

[makoman]

YUCK!!!

[JediGirl]

Not intercourse, but oral sex does. I am not interested in making a gf swallow my cum...sorry, not my cup of tea for a person that should not have to deal with that crap.

Many partners do not have to be made. Some do not see it as disgusting. Not everyone swallows, anyway. BTW, how is it immoral?

[yendu bwam]

Any parent that doesn't care, like the poster you replied to, is negligent and an unfit parent.

It is gross, except to boys who are too selfish to think of what the girls involved are expected to do. And you're right about parents being unfit. To say that that's OK to their daughters is very unfair to them, and helps those daughters to devalue themselves greatly.

[yendu bwam]

Perhaps you should compare your definition of slut with that of those you claim aren't interested. You may find some find those you think slutty quite acceptable to many marriage minded men.

I'm sure that's true. But I do know for a fact that there are many, many men who don't want used goods for their wives. To each his own, I guess. As I said in the previous post, I'm very grateful and touched that my wife was a virgin when we married. It's something that means a lot to me, as it should.

[rwfromkansas]

Again, it is an act that falls under sexual fornication prior to marriage. After marriage, it is not immoral.

[JediGirl]

it is gross, except to boys who are too selfish to think of what the girls involved are expected to do.

And if the girl is willing to do it because she loves her partner? Is it demeaning to a guy to reciprocate?

And you're right about parents being unfit. To say that that's OK to their daughters is very unfair to them, and helps those daughters to devalue themselves greatly.

Little Jenny, let me talk to you about oral sex and swallowing semen. Don't. do. it.

[yendu bwam]

Many partners do not have to be made. Some do not see it as disgusting. Not everyone swallows, anyway. BTW, how is it immoral?

For many, especially religious Christians, Jews and Muslims, premarital sex is considered something that is against God's will. Since you are an atheist, that won't mean much to you. But for those to whom it does mean something, it also makes a great deal of sense. In my life, almost all I know who've engaged in premarital sex have had less fulfilling marriages than those who have. I trust God on this, and it makes sense to me.

[Dan from Michigan]

I'm going to get flamed here.

I honestly think of it as a grey area. It is, but it isn't. To use the baseball definition - 2nd base. There;s a reason it's only called 2nd base.

(putting on flame suit)

[nopardons]

You brought it up. Why are you acting so defensive about it ? Aren't you willing to openly talk about your sex life ? If not, then why make such blanket statements ? You're more than willing to talk in the abstract, about what you will and will not do, when ( if ) you have a child / children. Heck, you talked about it with such unalloyed certainty, prior to admitting that you haven't any children , why not take this out of the realm of the hypothetical ?

Yoy're out of your depth ; perhaps you'd like to quit now ?

[Equality 7-2521]

I think you handle yourself very well on most of the threads that you post on and that your arguments are usually more sound and ideas more consistent than a lot of the older posters... and not only because as a libertarian I often agree with you.

It seems that [if the religious right on this thread is an indicator] most of the conservatives hold virginity as the only thing that a woman can have to offer to a husband and that once it's gone she is worthless. Personally, I don't devalue the totality of the woman in this way. I guess that's one difference between them and us... they believe that sex is the only thing of value that a woman has [and that if she shares it with someone, all value is lost] while I hold a woman's mind to be of far greater value.

[independentmind]

Actually, JediGirl displays an amazing amount of poise in discussing a very personal topic with men and women who are obviously much older than she. Quite atypical of a seventeen year old girl, in my opinion.

How many parents encourage their seventeen year old daughters to identify themselves as such on the internet,including the posting of a picture?

[yendu bwam]

All I can do is thank Christ for healing my pain and giving me a second chance. It took well over an year before I could entertain the concept of dating again, I was so filled with hurt and hatred.

Most loving parents hope and pray that their daughters trust in their love enough to understand that their parents are trying their hardest to protect them from experiences like yours. There are always boys who will take advantage of easy girls. What's amazing is that so many girls don't even realize it's being done to them.

[JediGirl]

As far as emotional maturity is concerned, you're still engaging in special pleading. What makes a 17-year-old "mature enough" and a 12-year-old not "mature enough". Lemme guess: the fact that you're 17, right?

So. An 18 year old. Cannot handle sex better than a 12 year old?

[galt-jw]

i know what we should do....lets make a huge issue out of sex, and then feel superior because sex is made a huge issue over which we feel superiority.

that said, this topic is contentious enough for adults. middle schoolers who have been introduced to this behavior is another issue entirely.

[JediGirl]

How many parents encourage their seventeen year old daughters to identify themselves as such on the internet,including the posting of a picture?

Maybe I live on my own....