I honestly think of it as a grey area. It is, but it isn't. To use the baseball definition - 2nd base. There;s a reason it's only called 2nd base.
(putting on flame suit)
and just for the sake of argument, what about a woman being the recipient of oral? is that sex? or is that 2nd base?
i personally view those acts as more intimate (and more sexual) than intercourse.