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MAN GETTING DIVORCED HIRES “THE BEST” LAWYER – THE WOMAN HE’S DIVORCING
weekly world news ^

Posted on 12/01/2021 8:38:54 PM PST by algore

“In fifteen years of marriage, I never won an argument,” said Harvey Stiles, referring to Sheila Watson, his lawyer/wife. “I thought ‘Well, that’s exactly what I want in a lawyer. So I hired her!

“Besides, lawyers cost about four hundred dollars an hour. I’m just paying her the money she’s probably going to eventually get anyway.”

Ben Finagle, a legal scholar, said that while this arrangement was unprecedented, it was actually brilliant.

“There’s an old expression, ‘Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.’ Well, in a divorce, the ‘ex’ is the enemy, so what’s closer than hiring her to represent you in court?”

SHE’S CONFIDENT SHE’LL WIN

Watson said she was eager to be involved in the case, one way or the other.

“I’m not one for sitting on the sidelines. I was going to represent myself, but there’s that old adage, ‘A person who represents herself has a fool for a client,’ and I’m no fool. So when Harvey asked me to be his lawyer, I immediately agreed.

“Frankly, it’s the first smart thing Harvey’s done since he asked me to marry him.”

Still, Watson acknowledged that it placed her in a challenging position.

“As Harvey’s attorney, part of my job is to hide and protect his assets. But as his estranged spouse, now I know where everything is, which makes MY lawyer’s job easier.”

Stiles admitted he had another ulterior motive for hiring his wife. “At home, Sheila never let me get a word in edgewise.

As my lawyer, she has to listen to my side of the story. Maybe she’ll even end up sympathizing with me, and we can stay together.”

But Watson says that if Stiles thinks that’s going to happen, he’s dreaming.

“Harvey’s okay as a client. As a husband, he’s, to use a legal term, ‘objectionable.’


TOPICS: Heated Discussion
KEYWORDS: bee; satire
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1 posted on 12/01/2021 8:38:54 PM PST by algore
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To: algore

I’m glad to see that the “Weekly World News” is still at it!


2 posted on 12/01/2021 8:41:12 PM PST by dynachrome ("I will not be reconstructed, and I do not give a damn.")
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To: algore

He’s either a genius or certified madman. Probably both.


3 posted on 12/01/2021 8:41:15 PM PST by DesertRhino (Dogs are called man's best friend. Moslems hate dogs. Add it up....)
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To: DesertRhino

Seems like an amicable divorce, to me.


4 posted on 12/01/2021 8:49:14 PM PST by Jamestown1630 ("A Republic, if you can keep it.")
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To: algore

Instead of the cartoon “Spy versus Spy”, we now have “Lawyer versus Lawyer”, the latest episode of “All in the Family”!


5 posted on 12/01/2021 8:49:34 PM PST by MadMax, the Grinning Reaper (Figures )
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To: algore

What could possibly go wrong?


6 posted on 12/01/2021 8:49:40 PM PST by moonhawk (Biden: Not my President. Fauci: not my doctor. Me: not their bitch. You:???)
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To: algore

I had to look and see if it was the Babylon Bee. 😀🙃


7 posted on 12/01/2021 8:49:53 PM PST by Mark17 (USAF ATCer, Retired. Father of USAF pilot. ATCers & pilots, the quintessential elements of aviation)
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To: algore

Amusing, but probably fiction.


8 posted on 12/01/2021 8:51:43 PM PST by devere
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To: algore

Well, he was stupid enough to marry her...


9 posted on 12/01/2021 8:58:26 PM PST by Telepathic Intruder
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To: Mark17

Weekly world news makes up outrageous news stories. I hate to admit it but when it was sold as a tabloid type newspaper....I would read it and my stomach muscles would hurt as I was laughing uncontrollably. Some of the stories was about Bill Clinton picking up a streetwalking female Bigfoot beast or Hillary having a secret space alien lover..


10 posted on 12/01/2021 9:35:54 PM PST by Getready (Wisdom is more valuable than gold and diamonds, and harder to find.)
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To: algore

Hmmm, no conflict of interest there.


11 posted on 12/01/2021 9:37:30 PM PST by nickcarraway
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To: algore

Sounds to be a concurrent law honeymoon is in effect.
Until legal fees do us part.


12 posted on 12/01/2021 11:15:58 PM PST by Scram1
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To: algore

Utter horsecrap - anyone who knows anything about legal ethics knows that this is a complete conflict of interest.


13 posted on 12/01/2021 11:31:35 PM PST by Ancesthntr (“The right to buy weapons is the right to be free.” ― A.E. Van Vogt, The Weapons Shops of Isher)
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To: Ancesthntr

This is Weekly World News

Its another Babylon Bee


14 posted on 12/02/2021 1:20:30 AM PST by Secret Agent Man (Gone Galt; not averse to Going Bronson.)
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To: Getready

Some of the stories was about Bill Clinton picking up a streetwalking female Bigfoot beast or Hillary having a secret space alien lover..

Wait...those were not true???

Day-um.


15 posted on 12/02/2021 2:50:40 AM PST by Adder (Proud member of the FJB/LGB community.)
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To: algore

Seems like a huge conflict of interest to me.


16 posted on 12/02/2021 4:11:26 AM PST by rbg81 (Truth is stranger than fiction)
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To: algore

Sounds like the Biden administration DOJ.


17 posted on 12/02/2021 4:43:06 AM PST by maddog55 (The only thing systemic in America is the left's hatred of it!)
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To: algore

“Why that’s just crazy enough to work!”


18 posted on 12/02/2021 4:44:18 AM PST by Sirius Lee (They intend to murder us. Prep if you want to live and live like you are prepping for eternal life)
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To: algore
The weekly World News was the Babylon Bee before there was a Babylon Bee.

Both write stuff that is so much like the crazy world we live in, that you have to do a double take when you read their articles.

19 posted on 12/02/2021 4:49:39 AM PST by USS Alaska (NUKE ALL MOOSELIMB TERRORISTS, NOW.)
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To: algore

Does the Weekly World News still have a print edition, or is it only online now? It seems like a long time since I’ve seen it at the supermarket. I used to pick up a copy once in a while to see what Bat Boy was up to.


20 posted on 12/02/2021 5:17:10 AM PST by HartleyMBaldwin
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