Posted on 11/07/2017 1:15:39 PM PST by drewh
When I was a freshman in college, I thought I met the love of my life. He was cool and fun and sexy, an older frat guy who was good at beer pong and knew exactly how to make me laugh. Within weeks of our first meeting, he became my official boyfriend. Within six months, we moved in together. Another six months later and we were engaged.
It was a whirlwind romance by any definition — except for the fact that I cheated on my boyfriend three times. Despite the heartache it caused, my experience with infidelity taught me a lot about love, relationships, and growing up.
Before college, I had been a serial monogamist. Since my first schoolgirl relationship at 14, I had several long-term boyfriends, and was never single for longer than two months at a time. I lost my virginity the summer before high school, and after that, had been sexually active with my subsequent partners. Despite my "experience," as my friends and future boyfriends would call it, I had no idea what it was like to be in a serious adult relationship — that is, until I went off to college.
That's when I met the man I would date, get engaged to, and inevitably cheat on. That's when I learned what a real romantic relationship was.
The beginning of my relationship with my college boyfriend was like a fairy tale. We were inseparable: He walked me to class, studied with me in the library, ate meals with me, and slept over nearly every night. We partied together on weekends, got to know each other's friends, and started talking about The Future. I was 18, and although I had been in what I had considered a "serious" relationship before, this was the first time I had the freedom to explore what I thought an adult relationship was supposed to be like — love, sex, drama and all.
The first time I cheated on my boyfriend, I wrote it off as a foolish mistake. I was drunk at a concert with a group of friends who found some cute boys for us to hang out with. After a half-dozen 20-ounce beers, a couple of joints, and a few sexy country songs, could I really be help accountable for my drunken actions? I loved my boyfriend, after all, and I knew we were going to be together forever, so what was one stupid mistake?
Even though I tried to write it off as insignificant, a week after I cheated I fessed up to my boyfriend out of sheer guilt. His face crumpled as I admitted, as he had suspected, that something did happen the night of the concert I didn't want to tell him about. His eyes burned with anger when I tried to tell him the same excuse I had been telling myself: I was drunk, and it didn't mean anything.
Eventually, he did forgive me, but after cheating, there was a distance between us that no amount of time seemed to be able to close. Something had changed in our relationship, and it wasn't just broken trust on behalf of my boyfriend. It was an uneasy feeling in my gut and a tiny voice in my head that said, But what if you did mean it?
Something had changed in our relationship, and it wasn't just broken trust on behalf of my boyfriend. It was an uneasy feeling in my gut and a tiny voice in my head that said, But what if you did mean it?
The second time I cheated on my boyfriend was no drunken mistake, and both of us knew it. After partying with friends, I ended up at a former crush's house and quite predictably, one thing lead to another and we slept together. The next day, that uneasy feeling in my gut had some company: pure guilt, and an overwhelming sense of being a truly terrible person. The voice got louder too, and started to say more: You did mean it, and this won't be the last time this happens, either.
When I cheated on my boyfriend for the third and last time, he wasn't actually my boyfriend — he was my fiancé. Despite the bumps in our relationship, a combination of our feelings for one another, a heavy dose of hormones, and the idea of finding happily ever after kept hurtled us towards a disastrous engagement that would only last seven uncomfortable months.
A month before it all fell apart, I cheated on my then-fiancé with another former crush, and even before our lips touched, I knew I was doing something wrong, but that I wouldn't regret it. I needed this infidelity to get me out of my relationship, something I knew deep down needed to happen, but something I was too weak and too immature to do on my own. So I cheated — again — and it served as one last sign that not only were my fiancé and I not meant to be, but I was not mature enough to really be with anyone.
That's the biggest lesson cheating taught me: that fidelity is an exercise in trust and maturity, one that not everyone can perform. I certainly couldn't at age 20, and it showed me that not only was I not ready for a serious monogamous relationship with my ex, but that I was not ready for a serious monogamous relationship at all. I may have felt like an adult, but I didn't have the relationship experience, communication skills, patience, or empathy to embark on a forever kind of love I so desperately wanted to have. I was selfish, uncaring, immature, and too caught up in the idea of what relationships are supposed to be, rather than what my relationship was actually like.
Cheating ripped away the false narrative about my relationship that I had created — we were in love, and with love came pain and drama — and instead illuminated my love, or lack thereof, for what it was: hurtful and ugly and so necessary for me to become the faithful person I am today.
Cheating ripped away the false narrative about my relationship that I had created — we were in love, and with love came pain and drama — and instead illuminated my love, or lack thereof, for what it was: hurtful and ugly and so necessary for me to become the faithful person I am today.
They say once a cheater, always a cheater, but after my experience, I can say that phrase is patently false. Cheating on my boyfriend multiple times taught me invaluable, albeit painful, lessons in love and relationships, on adulthood and maturity, on growing up. My actions showed me that relationships take a lot of work, not just together, but within oneself. It can't be forced, it can't be rushed, and it can't be half-hearted. When it is, people — yourself, your partner, your loved ones — get hurt.
Cheating taught me that kind of hurt never quite goes away.
The fact is, that you couldn't manage to find a woman to marry, whom you could stay married to. That's your problem and failure.
Go change what you're wearing and wash your hands with soap and hot water; you must be covered in in bodily fluids from your one handed typing.
It has nothing to do with "METROPOLIS", but with his rancid use of Bible verses and intense, uber Christianity used tom dissect the symbolism in this movie.
I apologize. I thought it was understood we were discussing your fellow sophisticate, the marvelous miss marblestain, or whatever her name is.
I meant "you" as in the Spanish "ustedes" or the southern/negro dialect usage "ya'll".
I didn't think English was so hard for you.
What is this one handed typing you keep referring to?
Do you possibly think I would interrupt my valuable fapping time conversing with the likes of you? You are a boner killer and that would defeat the entire purpose, don't you think?
It's the same thing they have about EVERYTHING always being a woman's fault; no matter what it is.
Eve.
Duh!
>>rancid use of Bible verses
Oh. You find Mark 10:8-9 “rancid” when applied to the corporate structure Christ defined for marriage, do you?
Good to know.
You are superimposing something onto this film, with 21rst century, personal opinions.
Do you even have the vaguest idea ( without looking it up ), what things were like in Germany, in the 1920s? I doubt it!
I do; through reading and from real live other people's personal stories, that I heard in person.
The meme that you're searching for, but coming up short with, is the old Freudian complex view of womankind as either "MADONNA" or "WHORE".
The newish ( because it had finally been accepted ), back then, Freud/Jung/Adler stuff being now (then) all the "rage".
You shouldn't judge old things with today's eyes, nor with whatever delusions you happen to come up with on your own.
Your opinions are noted and laughed at with derision!
>There weren’t any large feminist movement ( not even a small one ) in 1920s Germany!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feminism_in_Germany#Weimar_Germany
Following women’s enfranchisement, women’s rights made significant gains in Germany during the Weimar Republic period. The Weimar Constitution of 1919 enacted equality in education for the sexes, equal opportunity in civil service appointments, and equal pay in the professions. These changes put Germany in the group of advanced countries in terms of women’s legal rights (Czechoslovakia, Iceland, Lithuania and the Soviet Union also had no distinction between the sexes in the professions, while countries such as France, Belgium, the Netherlands, Italy, and Norway held onto restrictions to the professions for women throughout the inter-war period).[21] Germany’s Reichstag had 32 women deputies in 1926 (6.7% of the Reichstag), giving women representation at the national level that surpassed countries such as Great Britain (2.1% of the House of Commons) and the United States (1.1% of the House of Representatives); this climbed to 35 women deputies in the Reichstag in 1933 on the eve of the Nazi dictatorship, when Great Britain still had only 15 women members in the House of Commons.[22]
The umbrella group of feminist organizations, the Bund Deutscher Frauenvereine (BDF), remained the dominant force in German feminism during the inter-war period. It had around 300,000 members at the start of World War I, growing to over 900,000 members during the 1920s
BAM!!!!!!!!
Guess you don't quite know everything, eh sugar britches?
Ooooops sorry. That was Professor Know-it-all.
Human nature hasn’t changed since then or long before.
Thanks for proving that you're part of a group of people with very weird ideas/views. An d after doing a bit of searching the net, on my own, I saw where you got the whole Moloch and "feeding the children and adults ( you left out the adults part!) to the flames. Original "thought" my left heel! *snicker*
And FWIW...I did post about the Thune Society and others in Germany, at that time, which were still quite active and why. You just don't want to get it. But that's okay...as long as you keep it to yourself.
What is “Elite Daily”? I never even heard of this site before today.
I’ve been seeing this thread bumping around (no pun intended haha) in the Latest Posts for days now, growing more curious with each passing day what kind of dialog could possibly be taking place within. I didn’t even read any of the posts just the titillating title kept catching my eye, but I kept wondering what the chat was all about. After all, didn’t seem to be much to the story. And today I noticed it had reached over 400 replies, so I finally surrendered.
I read the entire “article” at the site to be sure: there doesn’t seem to be much redemption and/or repentance for or by this woman. Which is quite sad when one thinks about it. It seems to me, especially after reading most (although admittedly not all) of the replies we should all simply be praying for this woman, instead of mentally masturbating with variations of the word “whore”, lazily blaming her entire life (or lack thereof) on the wretched post-modern perversion of feminism, or trying to one-up one another with linguistic wizardry and personal accounts of a myriad of books read, the majority of which have little relation with this woman’s sorry state. Which apparently is a life absent a personal relationship with the Living God.
I know I’ll now be adding this poor woman, and all like her from either gender, to my prayer list, praying she encounter Jesus in the flesh some day. I call on all men and women of good faith to do the same. It’s the best we can do, or say, about her and her situation anyway.
Maybe I'll start another topic, that you neither know about nor understand. ;^)
You find Mark 10:8-9 “rancid”.
Good to know.
You find Mark 10:8-9 “rancid”.
Good to know.
>>The meme that you’re searching for, but coming up short with, is the old Freudian complex view of womankind as either “MADONNA” or “WHORE”.
Maybe that’s the meme you’re looking for but that’s not the bride Christ defines.
And ADULTS were also thrown into the flames in METROPOLIS, which was shown in 1925, NOT IN 1927, as those links you sent me off to look at, claimed. LOL
Infanticide isn't the same thing as abortion, with one exception...late term abortion.
And child sacrifices were/are infanticide.
This isn't about abortion, which you appear to be obsessed with, in connection with this film. In modern times, it was a Eugenics and its supporters thing.
How about birth control? Do you object to that?
Are you married ?
Were you ever married?
Do you have any children...through marriage or otherwise?
Even though it is a false claim, do you believe that the Knights Templars really "worshiped" Baphomet and not Jesus Christ?
What about the Jews? Are they all, for over 2 millennia and into the future, "CHRIST KILLERS"?
What are your personal views on Indulgences, Sumptuary Laws, and was there really a female Pope named Joan?
It's a baby book, for infants, most parents and grandparents and aunts and uncles and friends of people who have babies, knows about.
So sorry that you are still so hung up on personal insults. But then, since you must get so many stares, if not verbal personal insults, in real life, because you are balding, fat, toothless, and freakish looking, this is your way of striking back at those with whom you disagree.
Is this still turning you on?
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.