Curse Words For Janet Jackson (It's Morford, what do you expect?)

sfgate.com ^ | February 4, 2003 | Mark Morford, San Francisco's prodigal son/daughter

[El Conservador]

Jaws were clenched. Brows were furrowed. Scowls were scowled. Fake sanctimony was hissed. Pasty cellulitic butts were scrunched. This is what happened.

Just last week, well before Janet Jackson reignited her limp career in the most nipple-riffic PR stunt in months, uptight members of Congress from all corners squeezed their narrow ideologies into little fiery balls and decided to berate, as they so often do, radio and TV for being "vile, crude, disgusting, and awful," yo hey pot kettle black. And, lo, lightning did not strike them dead on the spot.

[El Conservador]

HOLY S#!T!!!

[dfwgator]

It was probably the first time Miss Morford ever saw a breast.

[finnman69]

It was probably the first time Miss Morford ever saw a breast.

I bet it's not the first time Morford experienced a large rear end blowing fart gasses in his face like the Bud light ad.

[JennysCool]

It's so tiring to read writers who think they're clever but haven't a clue what that is.

[leadpencil1]

Morford posts should be banned. What a loser he is.

[Joe Brower]

"Pasty cellulitic butts were scrunched. This is what happened."

I sure wish this Morford maricone would refrain from describing his personal life to the public at large.

[dangus]

>>Yes, a woman's flesh is unspeakable evil. However, umpteen erectile-dysfunction commercials and crotch-biting pisswater Bud Light commercials and toxic-junk-food commercials and faux-macho truck commercials and the ad featuring two old people beating each other up over a bag of greasy potato chips, why, that's just tasteful, healthy capitalism.<<

No, the Christians didn't complain about those.
</sarcasm>

[Just another Joe]

It was probably the first time Miss Morford ever saw a breast.

With him being SF's prodigal son, at least a female breast.

[Mr. Jeeves]

And thus did the sanctimonious pseudo-Christian cry go out...Who -- pray, who -- will protect the children?

Morford's a loon, but he draws blood here. The phrase sounds just as stupid when the Right uses it to justify increased government regulation as it does when the Left uses it to justify big spending initiatives.

[jla]

Morford posts should be banned. What a loser he is.

I would've never guessed that.

[Bluntpoint]

I'm thinking this guy probably has high octane, protein derivative, bad breath!

[Gerasimov]

This guy's a loon. And I emailed him at mmorford@sfgate.com and said exactly, "Regarding your February 4 column: Clearly the rantings of an unstable lunatic."

I would encourage everyone else to flood his mailbox with similar items.

[macrahanish #1]

Miss Morford is angry that Jackson didn't tear off Timberlake's shirt.

[Quilla]

"Mark Morford is a columnist and editor for sfgate.com. He is also a yoga teacher and fiction writer and an outstanding parallel parker and fervent wine devotee and former smoker and former LA rock-god wannabe and careful insinuator and occasional unfair mudslinger and frequent skeptic and sporadic true believer and paradoxical contrarian and tattooed love-monkey and vehement non-conservative and casual coffee drinker and ardent dog lover and medium sleeper and comparison shopper and funky subtle prurient neo-pagan gleaner of screaming delicious naked nuances."

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

[camle]

inre: #5, i agree. if he can't even get that right, what else did he screw up on? bozo.

[reagan_fanatic]

"Oh, and because S.F.'s own KRON-TV dared to accidentally flash a shot of a real penis during a segment about the very much not-all-that-funny "Puppetry of the Penis" theater show."

I'll bet that got a five penis rating from you on the ol' Wank-O-Meter©, didn't it Miss Morford?

[Johnny Gage]

tattooed love-monkey..... ardent dog lover

Wow.. I didn't realize Morfart was into beastialty as well.

[over3Owithabrain]

Ol' Morfy was right about two things:

The commercials were tasteless too;

Bud Light is indeed pisswater.

[VRWCmember]

just before a panicky NBC cut to a much more morally virtuous Pepsi commercial.

When a foul-mouthed, hateful little pansie decides to go off on a rant, he ought to at least get his facts straight. Hey morford you ignorant little slut, it was CBS (sister company to MTV, both subsidiaries of Viacom) that broadcast the SuperBowl -- not NBC.