Exurge, Calvinisti, et judica causam tuam...

drstevej (Pope Piel I)

[drstevej]

Exurge, Calvinisti, et judica causam tuam...

Arise (some mss read Swarm), O Calvinists, and plead your cause. The doctrines of grace are mightily assailed by those who would proclaim with their father, “I will be like the Most High.” Set forth the biblical case for a sovereign God who is jealous for His glory. Disallow through disputation (and lampooning when needed) the damnable errors of those who have refashioned the great sola doctrines into a salvation-helper gospel that exalts the fallen will of man.

From every corner, in every thread exalt the right of God to do whatsoever He pleaseth. Be not dismayed by persistent anthropocentric rantings. Blessed are you when they revile you for the sake of the truth. Happy are ye when the Servetus card is played and the strawmen are paraded before you for He who is enthroned in heaven reigns.

– Pope Piel I, Thread Pope

[CCWoody]

I have thought a lot about His proper name being an ontological statement to us. As I read in the OT, I notice the following pattern. The LORD reveals that He will bring a judgment on Israel, then He frequently concludes His prophecys with something like "Then you shall know that I am the LORD." I think He is directly telling us that this is who I am by linking his name in this way.

Go do the searches for yourself and see if you think I am off base with this.

[OrthodoxPresbyterian]

33 formally-professed FReeper Calvinists, and counting (with at least a half-dozen Nominations still pending, and more to come).

JOIN ME... and together, we shall rule the galaxy!

[drstevej]

***Some of my best friends are Arminians. (John Calvin, ca. Year of our Lord Fifteen Hundred Yazawazitz)***

Sell that letter to the Mormons, I think your peep stone needs an adjustment. Calvin and Arminius were not contemporaries.

[xzins]

You mean John was a PROPHET!!!

Omigosh...I've seen the light!

I'm on a mission from John.

(Can I get in now? I want to thank my producer, my director, my mom....)

[PAR35]

Of course, Calvin could not get ordained in the OPC or in some of the more conservative PCA presbyteries, based upon his views of the Lords Day/Sunday observances.

[OrthodoxPresbyterian]

JOIN ME... and together, we shall rule the galaxy!

Of course, we Amillennial Calvinists would say that the "Millennial Age" of the Church is a general allegory, pertaining to an indefinite period of Christ's evangelistic invasion of the Pagan Kingdoms of Satan.

Sorta like, "Do these Levi's Jeans make me look fat? No, of course not, honey... you look like a million bucks!!"

An exact One Thousand Years, you say??

Uh... well, uh... "hey, look at that -- a Comet!!" -- OP

[drstevej]

Papal warning for eschatological taunting.

[nobdysfool]

God has laid himself under no obligation, by any promise to keep any natural man out of hell one moment. God certainly has made no promises either of eternal life, or of any deliverance or preservation from eternal death, but what are contained in the covenant of grace, the promises that are given in Christ, in whom all the promises are yea and amen. But surely they have no interest in the promises of the covenant of grace who are not the children of the covenant, who do not believe in any of the promises, and have no interest in the Mediator of the covenant. So that, whatever some have imagined and pretended about promises made to natural men's earnest seeking and knocking, it is plain and manifest, that whatever pains a natural man takes in religion, whatever prayers he makes, till he believes in Christ, God is under no manner of obligation to keep him a moment from eternal destruction.

from Jonathan Edwards, Sinners in the Hands of An Angry God

Herewith is my application for membership tendered, with the fervent hope that it may afford me entrance, by the Grace and Mercy of God, and be found acceptable by Pope Piel I, with all the privileges and apurtenances thereto, etc. etc. nobdysfool

[drstevej]

***(Can I get in now? I want to thank my producer, my director, my mom....)***

You are the Susan Lucci of the GRPL.

[drstevej]

Domini, domini, domini

You're in dude.

[OrthodoxPresbyterian]

Of course, Calvin could not get ordained in the OPC or in some of the more conservative PCA presbyteries, based upon his views of the Lords Day/Sunday observances. ~~ PAR35

I submit that you are mistaken.

It is true that some (and certainly NOT the majority) of the OPC Congregations have chosen to be "Strict Sabbatarians" on the matter of Sunday Observance; but this is what the Roman Catholics would call a matter of discipline, not a matter of doctrine.

SOME of the OPC Congregations have chosen to be "Strict Sabbatarians", as to their Elders and Deacons. This chosen Discipline is not, of course, binding upon the Laity of those Churches, and is not binding upon the OPC in general.

For that matter, the OPC would also, in veneration of John the Baptizer, honor the venerable terms of the Nazirite Vow, if some OPC parishioner so decided (and this has some attraction for me -- I miss my long, Lionesque mane of curly, golden hair. But I likewise would have to sacrifice the joys of Warsteiner lager to become a Nazirite -- decisions, decisions...)

However, this is a matter of chosen personal Discipline, not of formal OPC Doctrine. John Calvin liked to go bowling on Sundays. And there is NOTHING -- not a single clause, in either the OPC Confessions nor the Book of Church Order -- which would condemn such Recreation upon the Christian Day of Rest.

Any OPC in the country could organize a "John Calvin Sunday-afternoon Bowling League" tomorrow, and there is nothing whatsoever in OPC Church Law which would condemn this Recreation in any way.

You mistake us, good sir... I do think, that you mistake us.

best, OP

[CCWoody]

An Arminian dies and goes to heaven. Of course, St. Peter meets him at the pearly gates.

St. Peter says, "Here's how it works. You need 100 points to make it into heaven. You tell me all the good things you've done, and I give you a certain number of points for each item, depending on how good it was. When you reach 100 points, you get in."

"Okay," the man says, "I was married to the same woman for 50 years and never cheated on her, even in my heart."

"That's wonderful," says St. Peter, "that's worth three points !"

"Three points ?" he says. "Well, I attended church all my life and supported its ministry with my tithe and service."

"Terrific !" says St. Peter, "that's certainly worth a point."

"One point ? Golly. How about this: I started a soup kitchen in my city and worked in a shelter for homeless veterans."

"Fantastic, that's good for two more points," he says.

"TWO POINTS !!" the man cries, "At this rate the only way I get into heaven is by the grace of God !"

"Come on in !"

[OrthodoxPresbyterian]

Papal warning for eschatological taunting.

OP requests of the Thread Pope a Papal Dispensation of Mercy, given that I have also taunted myself... (and my brethren Amillenials)

An exact One Thousand Years, you say??

Uh... well, uh... "hey, look at that -- a Comet!!" -- OP

I plead my request for Pardon, on the grounds that I have spread the "eschatological taunting" around quite equitably, Your Fishiness.

Best, OP

[drstevej]

***and this has some attraction for me -- I miss my long, Lionesque mane of curly, golden hair. But I likewise would have to sacrifice the joys of Warsteiner lager to become a Nazirite -- decisions, decisions...***

Remember no contact with dead bodies!

[drstevej]

Pennace:
A thousand "Hail Darbys" (not 999 nor 1001, but precisely 1000)

[CCWoody]

Honest Arminian hymns:

I Surrender Some
Take My Life and Let Me Be
Where He Leads Me, I Will Consider Following
Just As I Pretend to Be
A Comfy Mattress Is Our God
Self-esteem to the World! The Lord Is Come
Amazing Grace, How Interesting the Sound
Lord, Keep Us Loosely Connected to Your Word
Praise God from whom All Affirmations Flow
My Hope Is Built on Nothing Much
O, God, Our Enabler in Ages Past
I Lay My Inappropriate Behaviors on Jesus
Pillow of Ages, Fluffed for Me
All Hail the Influence of Jesus' Name!
I'm Fairly Certain that My Redeemer Lives
We Give Thee but Still Think We Own
What an Acquaintance We Have in Jesus
My Faith Looks Around for Thee
Joyful, Joyful We Think Thee Pretty Good
Blessed Hunch
Above Average Is Thy Faithfulness
We Are Milling Around in the Light of God

[OrthodoxPresbyterian]

Remember -- no contact with dead bodies! 254 posted on 12/11/2003 8:28:55 PM PST by drstevej

Dude.... surely this doesn't mean that righteous quotes from "Army of Darkness" (a.k.a., the best Zombie Movie ever made) are off-limits, does it?

"Good... Bad... I'm the guy with the gun."

[CARepubGal]

My OPC pastor did say Sabbath keeping was a matter of Christian Liberty. And a John Calvin Bowling league would be an excellent idea. :-) Although the after bowling BBQ might scare Arminians.....

[drstevej]

Fortunately for you exegetically the "contact" referenced in NU 6 is physical so AoD is cool as long as you don't act it out.

[Hermann the Cherusker]

Exsurge, Calvinisti, et judica causam tuam

Uh oh ... two steps back from the Pontifical election ...

"Pat, can I have an 's'"?

"Yes Herm, there are three 's'! Uh, Vanna, THREE 's'!"