The Guild 8-29-2003 Say Goodbye to Summer

[Iowa Granny]

Good Morning.

[mountaineer]

Thanks for the info. Depending on the length of the trip, we may make it to Alsace.

[lodwick]

A college student invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful his room mate Julie was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between him and Julie, and this made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between him and Julie than met the eye. Reading his mom’s thoughts, he volunteered, “I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Julie and I are just roommates.”

About a week later, Julie came to him and said, “Ever since your mother came to dinner, I can't find the beautiful silver tray. You don't suppose she took it do you?”
He replied, “Well I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure.” So he sat down and wrote:

"Dear Mother, I'm not saying you “did” take a silver tray from my house, and I'm not saying you “did not” take a silver tray. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner. Love, Your son"
Several days later, he received a letter from his mother which read:

"Dear Son, I'm not saying that you “do” sleep with Julie, and I'm not saying that you “do not” sleep with Julie. But the fact remains that if Julie was sleeping in her own bed she would have found the silver tray by now. Love, Mom"

***

Once God appeared before a couple and offered to take one of them to heaven.

The husband graciously told God to take his wife. His wife was very moved by his generosity.

The God asked him why he offered his wife instead of himself for which he replied, "God!

If you take my wife that will be heaven enough for me!"


Cheers all.

[BigWaveBetty]

Oh no! Barney takes a spill.

President Bush (news - web sites), along with first lady, Laura Bush, and members of the Waco Midway Little League Softball World Series (news - web sites) championship team, react as Bush accidentally drops his dog, Barney, Saturday, Aug. 30, 2003, at TSTC Airfield in Waco, Texas. Bush quickly scooped up the dog who was not injured. (AP Photo/Duane A. Laverty)

Whew, he's ok and gets a kiss.

U.S. President George W. Bush (news - web sites) kisses Barney after he was accidentally dropped before boarding Air Force One in Waco, August 30, 2003. The first couple was departing for Washington after spending nearly a month at their Central Texas ranch in Crawford. REUTERS/Larry Downing

[BigWaveBetty]

But the fact remains that if Julie was sleeping in her own bed she would have found the silver tray by now. Love, Mom"

LOL! Good one.

[BigWaveBetty]

Now that their vacation is over the French are feeling guilty.

Kim Willsher reports from 'Icebox Avenue' in Paris where bodies of the victims from the recent heatwave are being stored as the nation looks for somebody to blame

It was difficult to say whether it was colder inside or outside the vast emergency morgue where French families finally came to claim their forgotten dead, two weeks after the heatwave that killed more than 11,000 people.

Stung by criticism from the government and from their president, Jacques Chirac, that they had gone on holiday or just failed to care for their elderly relatives at home, the families were stricken by grief and guilt. Any questions were met with a frosty silence.

One middle-aged couple who arrived with their two daughters at the makeshift morgue - a refrigerated former food warehouse at the country's national market at Rungis on the outskirts of Paris - pursed their lips, shook their heads and refused to speak. More

I must have missed the report where Jack Chirac spoke to his countrymen about the need to come home and claim their dead and/or to come home or at least call to check on their loved ones.

[Iowa Granny]

Ah, Yes! The old 'hide something in her bed' trick. One of the many little bag of tricks known only by Mothers of sons.

[lodwick]

It was a week or so ago that Jack called out his countrymen for roasting their elderly relatives.

Thanks for the Barney update - that had to smart.

[mountaineer]

Jacques Chiraq, back from a 3 week vacation, today (8/22/03) appeared tanned and rested and stated that 'measures' would be taken following the over 13,000 heatwave deaths. Notice he isn't tanned around the eyes. This guy's was sitting in a beach chair stretched out wearing sunglasses while Paris burned. Looks like a political misstep. (Thanks to Merde in France for this)

[BigWaveBetty]

Thank goodness for the selective reporting from the duplicitous Euro and American press! Otherwise Jack might be...

Where the hell is the media on this story?! If this were happening in America little else would be reported!!

[BigWaveBetty]

The Creature celebrates his 45th birthday.

Who lets their child hang out with the creature?

Pop entertainer Michael Jackson (news) points to fellow entertainers performing during a celebration of his 45th birthday at the Orpheum Theater in Los Angeles August 30, 2003. REUTERS/Robert Galbraith

[BigWaveBetty]

Srinuan will no longer spend his afternoons bumping into tree trunks, fire hydrants and humans, thanks to his new prescription goggles.(AFP/File)

[BigWaveBetty]

I wonder if Lourdes was allowed to watch her mom swap spit with two girls in front of the world.

U.S. singer Madonna (news - web sites) (L) and her husband British director Guy Ritchie (news) (2nd R) arrive with their children Lourdes (2nd L) and Rocco, off the ferry on the Island of Bute in Scotland, where they will be attending British designer Stella McCartney's wedding, August 29, 2003. The wedding of Stella McCartney and her publisher fiancee Alisdhair Willis is expected to take place at Mount Stuart House on Bute, the ancestral home of former Formula One star Johnny Dumfires, on August 30, 2003. REUTERS/Jeff J Mitchell

[BigWaveBetty]

Today is the last day to sign up for the Do Not Call list. If you sign up on Sep. 1st then it will be three more months to activate the Do Not Call.

donotcall.gov

 National Do Not Call Registry

Jump over the navigation menu directly to the content. If you would prefer not to use the screen/Braille reader, call toll free 1-888-382-1222.

Registry Home

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WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT THE
NATIONAL DO NOT CALL REGISTRY

Most telemarketers cannot call your telephone number if it is in the National Do Not Call Registry. You can register your home and mobile phone numbers for free. Your registration will be effective for five years.

If you register	Most telemarketers must stop calling and you may file a complaint
June 27 – August 31, 2003	After October 1, 2003
September 1, 2003 or after	Three months after you register

Register Now

[lodwick]

Good reminder for everyone - I cannot wait to see if this works...then on to the fax-spammers.

[habs4ever]

Larry and Darren have their eyes focused squarely on the issues in post #24 ;-)

[Iowa Granny]

- I cannot wait to see if this works...then on to the fax-spammers.

I registered my fax number, too. Hoping that will solve the fax spam problem.

Do you think they can still send fax spam eventho I'm listed?

[Iowa Granny]

Larry and Darren have their eyes focused squarely on the issues in post #24 ;-)

I noticed that.

I also noticed elsewhere on this site that Nevada is considering a recall. I certainly hope they learn a lesson or two from California before they proceed. This business of allowing anyone with 10 signatures to place their name on the ballot is bothersome.

[habs4ever]

Since it's Nevada, they'll get even more hookers on the ballot ;-)

I came across a story in an old Gourmet about food at the Iowa State Fair, and you folk love your pork,funnel cake, ribbon fries and Bauders ice cream.Other items under discussion were giant turkey legs,kettle korn and maid rite.

I think you can truly say that Iowans(sic) are real swines ;-)

[Iowa Granny]

Political Whores are no more easily recongnizable than than the 'real' kind.

As to the gastronomic delights of the Iowa State Fair: Our State Fair is truely a Celebration of Iowa. We grow food here, and we celebrate the fact at the fair.

I vividly recall the first year they offered Smoked Turkey Legs. Seeing people walking around the fairgrounds chewing on this huge drumstick made me think of cavemen.

In recent years, the Iowa Pork Producers Assn has begun selling Pork Chops on a Stick. I've not had one, so I cannot begin to describe how it's done.