Posted on 12/20/2002 2:35:04 PM PST by Kydoggg
There is a great article written by a girl at San Diego State University and I thought you might be interested. Here is a link to the site and the article is below as well.
www.dailyaztec.com - The column on the opinion page entitled: Columnist wants to be liberal because it's easy!
Lurking within each one of us is a facet of our personality that we continually try to suppress. Deep down, there's a part of us we're not too proud of and don't want others to see. Perhaps you're a member of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals and have always wanted to walk down the runway in a leopard-skin coat. Maybe you're a feminist who fantasizes about stripping at Cheetah's.
I, on the other hand, have always secretly dreamed of becoming a liberal. Jennifer Weaver, the war-loving, Bush-supporting, pro-life winner of the prestigious opinion section "Bill O'Reilly Seal of Approval" award -- a liberal? Why? What would make me, a Republican, want to turn to the dark side and declare myself a Democrat? The answer is simple -- because its so damned easy to be a liberal.
I envy liberals. They get to sit around, bitch about the injustices of the world and moan about the fascist Republican regime without ever offering realistic solutions for their gripes. They all seem so happy and carefree, so idealistic and starry-eyed. They have a simple solution for every complex problem. Being a liberal is so easy, so stress-free.
With the stress of finals pushing me over the edge, the last thing I want to do is write a stuffy, passionate, conservative column. So I'm taking the easy way out and fulfilling my darkest fantasy -- that's right, I'm taking a stroll down Liberal Lane and testing out the left-wing waters. So, without further ado, I present to you my take on current events and controversial topics as seen through liberal lenses.
On the current situation with Iraq, I say we just leave Saddam Hussein alone. I mean, we all know the United States is only going to war for oil. It's not like Saddam Hussein is a warmonger who sadistically tortures, rapes and murders his own people. Oh wait, he is. Well, it's not like he's threatened to blow up the United States or anything. Oh wait, he has. But that's beside the point. War is bad. People die in war and I don't like to see people die, so war is bad.
Instead of blowing Iraq back into the Stone Age, I think we should give Saddam another chance. Perhaps he's a changed man. Sure, he's committed genocide, tortured and killed millions of people, stolen, lied and attempted to assassinate former President Bush, but so what? That was the old Saddam; maybe the new Saddam favors knitting over nukes and long walks over long-range missiles. If anything, we should at least wait until he detonates a nuclear weapon in a major metropolitan city and kills millions of Americans before even thinking about taking action.
Speaking of killing people, abortions should remain legal. That baby is not a person or anything, so it's not like you're killing a human being. Killing people is bad, but babies aren't people; therefore, abortions should remain legal.
There are so many more issues to name and so many more solutions for me to offer, but not enough room to explain them all, so I'm just going to do a quick run-down.
The environment? Save the Spotted Eagle, lose the evil woodcutter. The death penalty? Killing people is bad. Welfare? Keep it. Make the rich pay for everyone else -- they make too much anyway. Taxes? Raise them for the rich only. Gun control? Guns kill. Killing people is bad. Social Security? Refer to my welfare response. Health care? Refer to my Social Security response. Education? Refer to my health care response.
Wow, that was so easy, so simple and so stress-free. I had a solution for every problem without ever having to factor in morals, logistics, financial impacts or consequences. But why do I feel so unsatisfied? Oh, that's right, because I live in a place called reality and not Liberal La-La Land. In theory, liberals have wonderful ideas, but those ideas just don't stand up here in the real world.
--Jennifer Weaver is an English senior.
--This column does not necessarily reflect the opinion of The Daily Aztec. Send e-mail to letters@thedailyaztec.com. Anonymous letters will not be printed -- include your full name, major and year in school.
Also, by being a liberal, all the people "who matter" will think you're swell. Because you "feel" more than you think.
And if you make a remark which , construed a certain way, would get a conservative skewered, you'll get a free pass!
Enjoyed your column!
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