The GUILD 12-15-2002 "Tis the season

[Hillary's Lovely Legs]

You missed a wild week. I haven't been trying to get a new number. My phone was dead last week and needed repair, and instead of sending out a repairman, the idiot phone company disconnected my main line. I had the number for 10 years and use it for business.

I can't get the original number back because it's ' being recycled'. They gave me a new number last Tuesday that was supposed to work today, and when it didn't I called the company and they couldn't find the number or order. I am just so screwed. I still don't have a phone.

[lodwick]

Great to see ya here this evening. So glad to know that you family is once more reunited. God bless and keep you all. JL

[lodwick]

Once more - STOP talking to the mouth-breathers and kick this thing up to someone who can right things for you. This situation is total BarbraSteisand! Good grief girl! (If I can say that here.)

[Hillary's Lovely Legs]

I am about to blow a gasket!

Jesse Jackson is on Greta Van Sustren talking about how Republicans are all racists, and with Lott saying that idiotic thing at the birthday party, that he outed all of us republicans as racists. He said that it's a 'Phenomena' that this has happened and that the republican party is a ' Phenomena' of racism.

Greta asked Jackson if when he called New York hymie town if that was anti-semetic, he glossed over it and said that Lott was not contrite in his apology and has always been against civil rights and has been against blacks his whole life.

I hate Jackson. I thought Christians were supposed to be forgiving. Jackson doesn't have one ounce of forgiveness in his heart. Lott can say a toast at a birthday party for a 100 year old man and it send the nation into a tailspin. Did Lott actually say that if we had kept the black man down that we wouldn't have any problems today? NOOOOOOOOOOO. He said if Strom had won we wouldn't have problems.

So I guess that not only are Democrats better than us, smarter, more compassionate, they are also freakin' mind readers.

Pardon me, I must take a shower after watching Jackson.

[Iowa Granny]

He's a total "Blowmeister", that JJ. The word on the street in town is the ones who are giving Trent the most guff are really unhappy with the way he handled the Impeachment process and see this as an opportunity to return the favor.

[Aggie Mama]

The funny thing about Ms. Lopez is that all of her songs have just abou the same theme: How "real" she is. Give me a break. When she starts doing her own hair and makeup--then she'll be a bit more real.

I'm finally starting to get over my cold. I had to go back to the doctor and get another round of antibiotics b/c the first infection didn't clear up. They gave me a shot of penicillin just for good measure. I'm actually feeling better now, but I still can't wear eye makeup due to my eye infection.

I still have morning sickness, and I"m living off of sparkling water and saltines. It's a grin a minute around here. =)

[Iowa Granny]

Oh Sweetie, I'm so sorry about your Morning Sickness and other maladys. Please know this Granny would be over in a dash bearing a caserole for the family and fresh saltines for you if it were just possible. Sending Cyber hugs to the Mom in Waiting.

[Aggie Mama]

:::Hugs::: you are such a doll. Thanks =)

[pubmom]

Christians are supposed to be forgiving, but Jackson has been bearing rotten fruit for quite some time. The man is a professional troublemaker, he causes division wherever he goes. Blessed are the peacemakers, eh Jesse?

In other news, O'Reilly (who I usually do not watch)had Al D'Amato on last night. He thinks if Trent is told to step down as majority leader, he'll resign.

Our kindergarten classes had a dress rehearsal for tonight's "Christmas around the World" program. We took the kids to a local nursing home to perform, the residents loved it! Wouldn't you know I got stuck helping the group doing Kwaanza?

Should I mention there were children wearing sombreros and singing Feliz Navidad? I checked, they're not illegals.

[pubmom]

Sparkling water and saltines, you lead such a charmed life. My husband picked up a pair of tiny baby shoes when we were shopping the other night and asked, "Oh, wouldn't you like to have to buy these again?" I gave him the look. The next baby items I'm purchasing will be for my brother and his wife when they have children.

Hope you feel better soon!

[lodwick]

[mountaineer]

Hello, all. Busy day - I left at 6 a.m. - just got back about 40 minutes ago) for the state capitol, where our four new Pubbie state senators were sworn in (we're gaining, bit by bit), then met with a fellow about a job opportunity in my field that would require me to abandon my (public) political activities, to a certain extent. Hmmm. What to do, what to do.

I guess I won't follow Liza's example, no matter what, assuming there's any truth to this story in Page Six:

LIZA Minnelli fell off the wagon in a crowded Second Avenue restaurant Saturday night with a trio of scotch drinks. Minnelli and her bodyguard Mohammed arrived at the Beekman Kitchen around 6:30 p.m. and ordered a couple of rounds of J&B and Coke, our spy reports. After downing two drinks in 30 minutes flat, Minnelli ordered a straight shot of scotch to finish off, then burst into tears.

Restaurant manager Lonnie Barnett confirmed the incident. But Minnelli's publicist, Warren Cowan, called the report of her boozing "totally, completely untrue," insisting she drank only Coke.

"She is in AA, and she's totally dedicated," Cowan says. "If you print this, she feels it could defame Alcoholics Anonymous, Liza and everyone else . . . I spoke to Mohammed as well, and he confirmed it.

"And she doesn't know anything about bursting into tears. Maybe some guy is just looking to make money . . . I don't know how these things work." full story

[mountaineer]

Also from Page Six:

MAYOR Bloomberg's harsh anti-smoking law - already rubber-stamped by the City Council - could result in the loss of many national conventions, starting with the Republican Convention in 2004. James G. Tom, of NYC Citizens Lobbying Against Smoker Harassment, has written all 51 lawmakers warning he'll call for a Republican boycott.

The group fumes that the GOP is supposed to be the party of personal freedoms, lower taxes and less government: "The smoking ban goes against everything the Republicans are supposed to stand for," Tom said.

"Why would convention delegates who happen to smoke want to come to New York?" Good question.

....

JUST call him "Teddy From the Block." Pals of Sen. Ted Kennedy (D-Mass.) missed a chance to see the liberal lion lampoon Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez after Kennedy canceled his annual holiday party.

We’re told Kennedy was set to play Affleck, with his wife Vicki as J.Lo, in a skit which also poked fun at presidential hopeful Sen. John Kerry (D-Mass.).

But Kennedy’s comedic caper was canceled because Vicki is under the weather. In past years, the senator has played everyone from Austin Powers to the Grinch.

Insiders tell Roll Call that "Lopez" was going to tell "Affleck" that she was secretly in love with another guy from Boston. "Who is it - Matt Damon?" Kennedy was going to say. "No, John Kerry," Vicki was going to shoot back. And then came the Kennedy zinger about the carefully-coiffed Kerry, who has been accused of spending a bit too much time in front of the mirror: "But John Kerry’s already in love with himself."

Despite the wisecrack, Kennedy is expected to endorse Kerry for president, after a long flirtation with Sen. John Edwards (D-N.C.).

[mountaineer]

One more:

THOU SHALT NOT SKIM FLAVOR FROM THE HOLIDAYS

By Craig Wilson, USA TODAY

I hate this time of year. Not for its crass commercialism and forced frivolity, but because it's the season when the food police come out with their wagging fingers and annual tips on how to get through the holidays without gaining 10 pounds. You can't pick up a magazine without finding a list of holiday eating do's and don'ts. Eliminate second helpings, high-calorie sauces and cookies made with butter, they say. Fill up on vegetable sticks, they say. Good grief. Is your favorite childhood memory of Christmas a carrot stick? I didn't think so. Isn't mine, either. A carrot was something you left for Rudolph.

I have my own list of tips for holiday eating. I assure you, if you follow them, you'll be fat and happy. So what if you don't make it to New Year's?

Your pants won't fit anymore, anyway.

1. About those carrot sticks. Avoid them. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So! Drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnogaholic or something. it's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission..

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello? Remember College?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. You can't leave them behind. You're not going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Coconut Cream. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like coconut cream, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards, mate.

10. And one final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips. Start over. But hurry! Cookieless January is just around the corner.

[lodwick]

Tough choice - which would you enjoy doing more? And what are the realistic chances of your being elected?

No, you're no Liza for sure. ;-)

[lodwick]

LMAO - thanks for bringing Wilson's tips here. I would not have seen it otherwise.

Cheers all!

[Iowa Granny]

Great List. I especially like the one about blocking the cookie tray to gourge yourself before anyone notices. Now that is a good idea.

[Iowa Granny]

G'morning everybody! Sorry for the Drive by posting this morning. I'll be out the enrie day.

[Iowa Granny]

enrie=entire

[Carolina]

Despite the wisecrack, Kennedy is expected to endorse Kerry for president, after a long flirtation with Sen. John Edwards (D-N.C.).

Poor Ambulance Johnny! He's been working so hard with that gravitas thing.