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FINAL DRAFT OF SEGMENT ONE: THE INTRO
An Introduction to Mudboy Slim:
Or, How the Libertarian Lyricist Acquired His Label

Here on Free Republic, there is a fine line between Republicans posting drunk and Libertarians posting sober. I realized this for real when I discovered Mudboy Slim's posts. Was he joking? Would it be less scarey and interesting if he wasn't joking? These are questions that many who encounter his posts are prone to ask.

He's been gracing our Freeper's Finest thread for a while now, so it's time for a proper introduction to Mudboy Slim. Indeed, it's time for an unauthorized biography -- I believe a new genre for this thread. But hey, you asked for volunteer guest hosts and I guess you can't be picky. So, with apologies to Bob Woodward, here is my highly accurate, highly telepathic account of Mudboy Slim. What's the real story behind those brilliant reworked song lyrics you see him post? What about the exuberance and the practical jokes that make one nostalgic for Junior High School? And is it really true that he'll be hosting a big party at his house with free drinks during the CPAC conference?

C'mon, join in! If you're owed money by Mud (and who here isn't?) or just in the mood for some holiday roast Mud, pile on! Read this highly accurate account of Mudboy Slim and add your own poignant memories of Mudboy Slim's youth and adult political adventures to this lore. Then without further adoo, let us begin, on the What, Where, How, When, and especially WHY of Mudboy Slim.

Ok, that's my final draft of the intro. Any comments?

FINAL DRAFT OF SEGMENT TWO:
Mudboy Slim's Adolescence: The Roller Derby Years and
A Very Dirty Neigborhood Prank

According to a highly placed source (OK, someone who posted here), for some time in the 1970s, Mudboy was involved in the Roller Derby. (Our source adds that "Mud's the one that told me this, so it may be embellished a bit.") He was wildly successful. His roller derby career earned the fortune that now allows him to write rework the lyrics of popular songs to reflect his conservative/libertarian views in contravention of this nation's copywright laws.

Mudboy in his early days, (notice the baby fat) wore the #36 jersey of the Richmond Renegades. (in final, do: img src="http://home.globaleyes.net/cbuck/midi/boydblock.jpg")
Shortly after this photo was taken, Mud went on a diet and was soon traded to... (in final, do: img src="http://www.multiboard.com/~rdpa/PHOTOS/SKATERS/63.jpg") ...the Petersburg Patriots, where he became a star member of the team, and it is with the Patriots that Mud made his vast fortune; which allowed him the small indulgence of buying the house of his dreams... (in final, do img src="http://spec.lib.vt.edu/imagebase/norfolksouthern/F1/NS4278.JPG") He shares this manse in the line that time forgot, Richmond Virginia, with his better half, Mrs. Mud and all the little Mudrats.

But apparently the fortune did not last . . . . Several Freepers, including ChadGore, Chad Fairbanks, Landru, and dubyagee, claim that Mudboy Slim owes them $ or at least an Ann Coulter book. Something about being denied a prize in a contest, which gives you a fair idea of the amount of trouble this guy can cause here. Actually, no it doesn't, he can cause MUCH more, but that will be the subject of our Part III below.

But what about the name? Ah, yes the name. Well, as our intro photograph suggests, Mudboy Slim got his name due to his daring-do in a little known field in Virginia called "the mudpits." There, many of his neighbors and friends decided to play a practical joke by claiming that they liked to belly-flop in mud. They all got themselves Muddy, and then invited Mudboy along, and Mudboy took the bait. The rest is history. Mudboy realized that in fact he really enjoyed this activity. To this day, after a 'specially heated discussion with a liberal progressive, Muddy (as he is known to his many fans on Free Republic) likes to just go SPLAT!

Lurking behind the surname "Slim" is an even dirtier tale. I was in a dingy Mississippi Delta bar last year and I overheard this old black bluesman whispering about a "Howlin' Harp" northerner who got his moniker of "Slim" by selling his "vote" to a DemocRAT named "Slick" in some Arkansas blues joint return for incomparable musical ability. Slick gave Mudboy the name "Slim."