[Genesis defender]

I am so ashamed of my actions. I need help finding a job badly. If any FReeper has possible job contacts around Sheboygan County in Wisconsin, please let me know. I am willing to learn and do ANYTHING for a job. I do have a computer tech certification, so I can troubleshoot computers. Customer service is a plus of mine. I have a degree in Broadcasting and a minor in Public Communication (HR-related).

Someone please help me.

[Genesis defender]

I am also willing to do any kind of factory-type work.

[navygal]

Consider it done.

[Genesis defender]

I may not reply immediately because I am still caring for my son at home

[riley1992]

You may not like this at all but I have news for you, it's not up to God to help you. You are a grown man. If this is what you want, get off the computer and find a job and break your back to save your marriage. You brought it to where it is and only you can try to fix it. God isn't responsible for it, you are. I will definitely keep you in my thoughts and hope you do what's right, though.

[Bella_Bru]

She has good reason to give me the boot. We have been married for five and a half years, and before we were married I promised her that I would take care of her and support the family so she could stay home. Unfortunately, I have a huge problem with following through on my promises.

For five years I have made similar promises of getting a job, looking for a job, and just doing chores around the house. I tried for a time, but eventually slid back to my typical behavior of procrastinating. I have held various jobs throughout this time, but none were well-paying enough to support a family.

A family member of mine went through the same thing several years ago. He was downsized, after 20 years. After that, he spent a lot of time at home, in his sweats, watching tv. He would try to find work, but he'd often not return calls, blow off interviews, and if actually did get the job, he'd quit after a few days.

After a while, his wife did grow weary of it, and encouraged him to see a doctor. He had gone from being a put together, driven guy to a virtual shut in. She was convinced it was more than laziness.

Turned out he was suffereing from clinical depression, which, did run on their side of the family. It was brought out by his layoff/firing/company reorganization. A few months of therapy, a year of the lowest dosage of Celexa possible, and now he is back on his feet.

[Skooz]

Go to your pastor and get counseling NOW.

I am not normally a "counseling" advocate, but having a knowlegeable and loving third party invoved is crucial. Do it ASAP. Make the call first thing in the morning. You can work through this.

Also, get on your knees and pray tonight. Pour out your heart to God. He can work miracles in a marriage. I know--He worked a tremendous miracle in mine. My marriage was OVER. Finito. But God somehow put it back together and it is better than ever. He will do it for you, too.

[Theo]

Hey there, my friend,

Face-to-face accountability/counsel is just a great thing. I'd recommend finding someone at your church that you trust, and who you and your wife consider pretty wise, and bring your situation to that person (either alone or with your wife). It'll take a whole lot of humility, but it's pretty much necessary. "The Doctrine of Repentance" is a great book to read -- I read it when going through some rough times....

Ted.

[SwordofTruth]

First, that the Lord will heal my crumbling marriage by fundamentally changing my habits and healing my wife's broken heart. I have frantically been trying to change, but I want this time to be permanent. Second, that God would help me find a job to support myself by Jan 1st. I so desperately want to prove to my wife that I can support myself and be a Godly man for once in my life.

Sounds like it has been crumbling for a while. If you really want to change then prayer is your best option. My prayers for you, and your family are on the way. I would appreciate it, if you prayed for me as well.

[The Grim Freeper]

Dear Genesis defender,

You are making good steps. Do not make them to get your wife back. You may be disappointed. She may have hardened her heart. You just keep on making the right choices. Her choices--you have no control over. You have a 2-1/2 year old that you need to protect. Do you have family that can give you emotional support?

We'll be praying for you, my brother. We have all been guilty of indulging our flesh. Repent (which it seems you have sincerely done). Now, do everything as unto the Lord. Do not despair. Joy comes in the morning.

[Redcloak]

Click here and start going down the lists. This page is from your local chamber of commerce. I noticed that there are at least three advertising agencies in the area. Your degree ought to be applicable in that industry. There are also more than a dozen communications companies and more than a dozen computer companies. And these are just the ones who belong to the chamber of commerce. There are bound to be a lot more than this.

In the mean time, get any job; no matter how little it pays. You need to get out of the house and away from the junk that's distracting you. You need to get back into the rhythm of working. At this time of year, anything retail is a sure bet.

[YourAdHere]

You can apply for jobs with the federal government at USAJOBS. Fill in your job criteria, and it will spit out a list of jobs that you qualify for. It is very easy to use. Good luck.

[mlmr]

Dear Mrs. Web Personal Advice Columns

Write to her.

Among many others, she has helped many a Freeper.

[GovernmentShrinker]

You sound like you need some professional counseling, and perhaps the counselor would recommend a psychiatrist if you show signs of depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, or other conditions which may require medication.

While you're looking for a permanent job, try to find work either as a "temp" or drumming up work as a handyman, if you any such skills at all (painting, minor carpentry, even snow shovelling). You might even try fast food restaurants and chain drugstores -- most have programs that enable low level employees to climb a ladder into store management and beyond, but you may have to start at the fry station or in the stockroom.

Get up early every morning and get dressed for job-hunting or for whatever temporary work you've lined up. Establishing and maintaining a pattern of getting up every morning and heading out to work or at least to actively look for work will help get your head together, bring in at least a little money, and probably impress upon your wife that you're really trying to turn over a new leaf.

Good luck to you.

[Cagey]

I asked her to come into our computer room, collected all of my computer game CDs (close to 30 in all), and I broke all of them.

You should have sold those CD games on eBay.

I do hope you get yourself together. Good luck.

[pgobrien]

A prayer for you and your family. Take ANY type of employment...the dumber, the better some times....allows you to consider what you are doing and where you want to go.
Good Luck

[tiki]

Okay, I'm going to pray for you but you need to do some serious reforming. Get a job and KEEP it. Help around the house and just be a responsible GROWN-UP.

[tacticalogic]

I'll pray for you, but right now I think might have to accept that fact that it could take some time to get things sorted out. Assume you're not going to be there for awhile, and act accordingly. Start getting things in order. You've got a good mind and two good hands (I assume), and you've got 6 weeks to do what you can with them for your wife and child before you have to leave them alone. Don't worry so much about yourself and worry a little more about them. IMHO.

[stainlessbanner]

Prayers for you G-D. Get your feet on the ground and then work it out with your family. Stand strong, be proud. Hit the ground running!

[McGavin999]

You're going to have to prove yourself to her big guy. Just getting a job now won't do it. You have to sit down with her and tell her that you understand, that you know this is your fault. You have to say that you know she no longer loves you but that's not going to stop you from trying to get your life back together. Then do it.

Go and get a job, straighten out your life, pay her child support (even though she hasn't asked for a divorce), go to see your child on a regular basis. If you do these things, and she sees that you are serious and committed, she may just give you a second chance.

I'll say a prayer for you, but it's in your hands to change this.

[Alberta's Child]

For the sake of your son the two of you need to do your best to stay together. Do not let him pay the price for your troubles.

Get on your knees every morning and make a commitment to God that you will carry yourself in a manner that is worthy of Him, then spend the rest of each taking making it so. You have been given two marvelous gifts, and up to this point you have done your best to squander them.

Some others here have recommended professional help, and that is probably a good suggestion. Regardless of how you approach this, I'll offer one bit of wisdom: To get yourself out of this rut you must adopt an attitude that places a higher value on the well-being of someone else than on your own trials and concerns. Your difficulty in finding a job is clearly a symptom of something else -- your tendency to dwell on yourself even to point of endangering your relationship with those you love.

And you are certainly in my prayers. The Lord Who sees to it that the birds have enough to eat and the flowers have enough rain will certainly not turn His back on you if you make an effort here.

Please let me know how things work out for you. A dramatic short-term change in your approach to life will be a small step in the right direction, and it may be enough to convince your wife that you have made an honest commitment to change your life.