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An Irish Plot Against Saddam
e-mail | 11/12/02 | unknown

Posted on 11/12/2002 10:51:32 AM PST by Robe

Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade next when his telephone rang.

"Hallo, Mr. Hussein!", a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Sligo, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"

"Well, Paddy," Saddam replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"

"Right now," said Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is myself,my cousin Sean, my next door neighbor Seamus, and the entire dart team from the pub. That makes eight!"

Saddam paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"Begorra!", said Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back!"

Sure enough, the next day, Paddy called again. "Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Saddam asked.

"Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor."

Saddam sighed. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to 1-1/2 million since we last spoke.

"Saints preserve us!" said Paddy. "I'll have to get back to you."

Sure enough, Paddy rang again the next day. "Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've modified Harrigan's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well!"

Saddam was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"

"Saints preserve us!", said Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back."

Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr. Hussein! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war."

"I'm sorry to hear that," said Saddam. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Well," said Paddy, "we've all had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and decided there's no way we can feed two million prisoners."


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: irish; jokes; saddam
God Bless the Irish
1 posted on 11/12/2002 10:51:33 AM PST by Robe
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To: Vic3O3; cavtrooper21
ROTFLMAO Ping!

Semper Fi
2 posted on 11/12/2002 11:52:08 AM PST by dd5339
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To: phasma proeliator; jdogbearhunter
PING
3 posted on 11/12/2002 2:05:00 PM PST by da_toolman
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To: Robe
The Irish: always thinking of the practical.

Now, if this were the Poles ...
4 posted on 11/12/2002 2:24:35 PM PST by Mike Fieschko
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To: Robe
"Right now," said Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is myself,my cousin Sean, my next door neighbor Seamus, and the entire dart team from the pub. That makes eight!"

They could take france!

5 posted on 11/12/2002 3:40:44 PM PST by pulaskibush
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To: Robe
A good one which describes we Irish well; confident yet practical we are, heheh. Bump for my grandfather Hugh O'Neill, from County Tyrone, who fought in the Easter Rising when he was just 13.
6 posted on 11/12/2002 5:37:43 PM PST by jrewingjr
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