REPARATIONS FOR TALL WHITE GUYS

[hoosierskypilot]

Reparations for the Japanese interned in the U.S. during WWII. Reparations for blacks because their great, great, great grandfathers were slaves.

Now, there is yet another class of Americans continually discriminated against, and we want ours.

That would be tall, white American men. We have been persecuted all our lives, and we want payback!

Think about it! All cars are made for runts like you. You short people (anyone under 6'2") can buy clothes off the rack in a store! That's obscene! I'm sick of it!

I'm tired of hitting my head on door closers. (The guy who came up with that one ought to be put to sleep like a dog!) I'm tired of no one having my shoe size. I'm tired of having to look at everyone's greasy scalp while the world looks up my nose.

I'm tired of having to bend over so far to use a sink. I'm tired of the distance twixt the toilet and myself (the little woman complains the floor is messy...I say, "Why don't you stand four feet from the toilet and see how accurate you are?")

So, why is this action limited to white guys? Cause everyone else is gonna get something from me (even though I never owned a slave) and I want what's mine!

[redhead]

" I want reparations for descendents of early settlers from England (1607, Jamestown)."

Yeah. And for falling overboard from the deck of the Mayflower (John Howland, whom I share as an ancestor with none other than George W. Bush!)! Clabberfooted immigrant reparations!

[BureaucratusMaximus]

Ceiling fans...I hate low hanging ceiling fans.
Being 6'7", I've grown to love low basements, pipes, and beams as well.

[hunyb]

I claim personal injury in my case!
short, skinny (under 100lbs)........
sick and tired of people asking if I'm anorexic.............I'm not anorexic, YOU'RE FAT!

[Bobby777]

being 6'1" I feel you have discriminated against *me* ... LOL

[Windsong]

Tall people UNITE! Lets march on Washington!

And just what is with those "bird" jokes anyways???

[SupplySider]

Right on hunyb, you are right. Almost all of us are fat. Ann Coulter and Calista Flockhart look great.

[7thson]

On ships, I had to learn to walk very carefully in the middle of the passageway. Any slight deviation to the left or right - port or starboard - and I alway hit or nicked my head on something hanging from the overhead.

[Tallguy]

Looks like I'm close to the front of the reparations line since I'm a 6'5" Left-hander. 6'6" if I've bumped my head recently (which is most of the time).

[hunyb]

are you being sarcastic?

[big bad easter bunny]

I want reparations from those who accuse every body else of being a biggot, when it is really them, like Jessie!

[Arthur Wildfire! March]

I have a confession to make. I inherited a vast fortune. It was Slave Money. I feel very guilty about it. My Swiss ancestors had a secret plantation in the Alps. Our slaves yodelled as they picked cotton along the icy cliffs, wearing liederhosen. The slaves were treated pretty good. Yes. I confess... they didn't get their evening Brandy if they didn't yodel... so what!!???

I toss and turn all night, riddled with guilt. [No I'm no relation to Scott Ritter.]

We made a vast, secret fortune on the backs of yodelling slaves.

So yes. We should all pay rape-erations. Because we all profited from secret slaves whether we admit it or not. They are onto us. Our secret is out of the box. Sorry I violated the Big Lie. I'll hand in my secret white man's decoder ring tomorrow. Fare well!

[Destructor]

I suppose you expect all of us average sized white guys to pay you off, huh?

[tall_tex]

Tall white woman would be a start. I have not danced cheek to cheek since I was 12 years old without causing serious back pain.

[another cricket]

No, not for REAL runts, those of us under 5'4". We who have our airbages disabled lest they break our noses or ribs or something when they deploy because we're so close to the steering wheel. Then clothes buyers don't seem to believe that short women should have hips or be a bit more endowed. And misses sizes always have better looking stuff.

I have to get you poor discriminated against tall white guys to help me do my grocery shopping cuz I can't reach the products on the top two shelves!

Yeah! Not to mention never being able to store anything on the top two sleves in the house unless you want to drag a step stool around and I have to climb on the sink to change the bathroom light bulb. Plus seat belts hit me right across the throat and do you have any idea how hard it is to find adult shoes when you wear a size five?

Not to mention sitting in chairs and not being able to put your feet on the floor and as for that Randy Neuman song...

I vote for a class action suit.

a.cricket

[WhyisaTexasgirlinPA]

Great rant! My hubby is a "tall" 6'......(with boots he might be 6'2".....).......and he's sick of all the government contracts going to "others"............ where do we get in line?

[afraidfortherepublic]

You've got to go to Oostburg for that! LOL.

[afraidfortherepublic]

...and what about 6th grade girls looking down on us short ladies and patting us on the head?

How about always having to be in the fron when the gym teacher ordered us to line up in squads? You couldn't get away with anything because you were right under her nose! It was inhibiting and has affected my whole life -- even though I eventually grew taller (I still feel short.)

[andysandmikesmom]

Oh goody, our family should really bring in the dough...my brother is 6'8", my husband is 6'2", my one son is 6'5"...and they are all white guys...in fact, just about all the my male white relatives are over 6'2"...my dad was considered the midget by all, and he was not really short, tho he was only 5'10"....he used to say he sure felt like a midget, when there was a family gathering...

I remember, when my brother was at college, and went running into the lounge of his dorm, and forgot to duck, while running through the doorway, and split the whole top of his scalp from his forehead, clear back...-blood all over, and a trip to the hospital for lots of stitches....

When my son took his round the world trip, he was trekking most of the time, so did not bring tons and tons of clothing from home...it was really hard on him when he needed to buy something new, and the general population of folks, say in Thailand or Singapore, was really short, it was almost impossible for him to get clothing to fit....

Now, he would complain about how difficult it was traveling abroad in a lot of these countries, because he was just so tall, and things were not made to accomodate him...

However, one time his tremendous height did help him...While in Turkey, he somehow allowed himself to be taken to a 'den of thieves'(using that term for want of a better term)...when he realized for certain, that the dancing girls on stage were really prostitutes, and the liquor menu was way overprices, and the dancing girls plopped down into his lap, with champagne coming with the bouncers, he realized he was in trouble...he quickly said, 'I am not paying for this gal, or the champagne'....

At which point, to make a long story short, the manager came out and actually threatened him...my son drew out a certain sum of money which was equivalent to $25 American money, to pay for his two beers....he threw the money down, and naturally the manager wanted much much more to compensate for what they thought was a sucker, pulled into
a situation where he was going to have to pay for lady of the evening and her champagne, whether he used them of not...

My son said $25 was all he was paying, and the manager told the four 'small' Turkish bouncers to grab my son...my son quickly sized up his situation, and knowing his own strength and weight and height(aside from being tall, he is a football player, and built as such), he quickly charged all four bouncers at once, sending two flying across the table and scaring off the other two...

Then he beat feet into the street, and no one followed, and thankfully he learned his lesson about going to strange places late at night in Turkey...

But it was the one time, his height saved him, rather than being a hindrance...

[SupplySider]

No, sorry if I gave that impression! It is a pet peeve of mine when your average chubby person (like me) accuses a healthier thin person of being anorexic. As a nation we are way too fat. I like skinny people. I used to be one, and want to be one again some day :)