Their version of caring for the kids is buying them stuff ..... they don't seem to know the meaning of unselfish love. The kids will have the best of everything that money can buy as long as their paternal grandparents are in the picture ...... but no real affection .....
.... an example ...... when grandaughter was about a year old and they were staying with us, the kids spent a week with their other grandparents. When they came back, grandaughter's bangs had been trimmed very unevenly. The Jerk enjoyed telling us that his mother said she had to take three drinks to get up the nerve to cut the child's hair!!!!!! YIKES! Three drinks and then puts scissors up to that baby's face! They all think it's hilarious. Just like the tale of The Jerk's niece getting kicked out of day care for being too unmanageable ..... *sigh*
My son is from my first marriage. Although his biological father intermittently sent money and relatives to visit, my son's values come from my parents and siblings, who taught him how to work, the value of family, and responsibility. My son went to visit his paternal relatives when in his twenties, and came back very glad that he had been raised here.
You are going to have a lot of difficult times in the next few years. However, the results of your dedication will be lasting things, so hang on to that when things get difficult.