Word For The Day, Wednesday, 8/7/02

"As we see the junior Senator* from New York pontificating with such refulgency, it is important to recall that, once upon a time....
SATAN was the Prince of Light!

* "B!tch" may be substituted here.

St. Joseph

Guess not, even if it feels good. I didn't know that, but I do now. I thought I'd kill two birds with one stone. See what you get for cutting corners? Thanks for letting me off the hook.

Any stewardi in the crowd?

Bwaaaaahahahahahahaaaa!!

I've seen something like this before, and so have you, probably.

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the Rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note ... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us bitching about you leaving it down.
1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!
1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
1. Sunday = football. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say what it is that you want!
1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that last for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Check your oil! Please.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind- reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, monster trucks or oil viscosity.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what the hell they're saying anyway.)
1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
1. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but do you know I really don't mind that, it's kinda like camping.
1. Yes I am in shape. ROUND is a shape.

yikes! LOL

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I've got to get to work, enough jokes. See you all later.

So we have a new historical phenomenon: an invisible, unknown, and therefore secret revolution is under way in Iran. And the question for the media is the following: Why do you refuse to report these events? For it is really hard to imagine that this information — which was not hard to obtain and to verify — is unknown to the Washington Post and Times, the New York Post and Times, the Los Angeles Times, and the major networks and the cable-news channels.

It would appear that the liberal media are not refulgent in their desire to report the real news.

Beauty picture!

Take a look at this gang. A companion piece for the example on the white board.

One also suspects that the mysterious disease known as ADD, Attention Deficit Disorder, may be caused by a deficit of meaningful direction - meaningful, that is, in the sense of coercive. Over that 10-year stint, I could probably identify 50 boys, all suffering from what today would be called ADD. Every one of them was 'cured' when he found that if he didn't do the assigned work, things would become dreadfully unpleasant.

It is certainly odd that a disease that was absolutely unheard of before the schools were feminized has now become chronic. The favoured treatment is to hop up boys into educational acquiescence with Ritalin, a derivative of cocaine. Drugging children is seen as somehow more humane than spanking them.

School is now just a 'girl thing'

BWAHAHA!

Three guys are debating who has the best memory.

The first guy says, "I can remember the first day of First Grade!"

The second guy says, "I can remember my first day at Nursery School!"

Not to be outdone, the third guy says, "Hell, that's nothing. I can remember going to the senior prom with my father, and coming home with my mother!"

You know its getting good, when the Wash. Times, picks up on MY lines.

Rice recipe
     Our recent column item about George W. Bush, unlike past Republican presidents, being in the pivotal position to attract blacks into the conservative fold, drew considerable response.
     Political author Jeremy D. Mayer, we wrote, suggests in his upcoming book, "Running on Race," that the only hope for Mr. Bush to steal a sizable — and for him, much-needed — fraction of the black vote from Democrats in 2004 would be by running with a black vice presidential nominee, namely Colin L. Powell.
     "It seems to me, Colin Powell made it clear before he does not wish to be president or vice president," writes Jim Mowrey of South Windsor, Conn. "If the GOP thinks they need a black on the ticket in 2004, who better than National Security Advisor Condoleezza Rice? Miss Rice is eminently qualified, and her candidacy would also help win the female vote."
     Dr. David P. Schwarz of Picayune, Miss., adds: "I think Condoleezza Rice is the better choice for vice president in 2004. Not only is she brilliant and knowledgeable, but, being a lady, kills two birds with one stone. I would not hesitate to vote for her as president in 2008, unless she has some truly awful secret that has not been dredged up by the opposition."
     Her fans say this is highly doubtful, doctor, given Miss Rice's background: senior fellow at the Hoover Institution; provost of Stanford University; nuclear strategic planner for the Joint Chiefs of Staff; director of Soviet and East European affairs at the White House National Security Council; White House policy director for democratic reform in Poland and the former Soviet Union; co-founder of the Center for a New Generation; corporate board member for Chevron, the Hewlett Foundation and Charles Schwab; member of J.P. Morgan's international advisory council; Council on Foreign Relations member; National Endowment for the Humanities trustee; and fellow of the American Academy of Arts and Sciences.
     Miss Rice enrolled at the University of Denver at the tender age of 15, graduating cum laude at 19 with a degree in political science. She got her master's at the University of Notre Dame and doctorate from the University of Denver's Graduate School of International Studies. No doubt George W., the only man whose opinion will count, knows all this.

(P.S. They left out that she is also pro choice, which would go a long way to negating the prescence of the harpies at NOW and NARAL in the election...)

Dude, my buds and yer buds must have the same buds...

Secrets for a Happy Life

1. It is important to find a woman that cooks and cleans

2. It is important to find a woman that makes good money

3. It is important to find a woman that likes to have sex

4. It is important that these three women never meet.

What would the Fate of te Democratic Party be, if the First Black Vice Presidential Candidate, First Black Vice President, First Woman Vice President, First Black President, and First Woman President, was a Republican....?

ROFLMAO!!!

But there is one there that applies to my HUSBAND and not to me:

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

i nominate consuela for #1...

And given the Dummies Preference for running people from SOUTHERN states, lol, imagine one of these PC little boys with a Southern Drawl trying to attack a black woman during a debate...Certainly does not lend itself to favorably imagery with the most important core Democratic constituency....Poor John Edwards...lol

I just got this in an email and thought you all would like it:

Thought you might enjoy this interesting prayer given in Kansas at the
opening session of their Senate. It seems prayer still upsets some people.
When Minister Joe Wright was asked to open the new session of the Kansas
Senate, everyone was expecting the usual generalities, but this is what
they heard:

Heavenly Father, we come before you today to ask your forgiveness and to
seek your guidance and direction. We know Your Word says, "Woe to those
who call evil good," but that is exactly what we have done. We have lost
our spiritual equilibrium and reversed our values.

We confess that:
We have ridiculed the absolute truth of Your Word and called it Pluralism.
We have exploited the poor and called it the lottery,
We have rewarded laziness and called it welfare,
We have killed our unborn and called it choice,
We have shot abortionists and called it justifiable,
We have neglected to discipline our children and called it building
self-esteem,
We have abused power and called it politics,
We have coveted our neighbor's possessions and called it ambition,
We have polluted the air with profanity and pornography and called it
freedom of expression,
We have ridiculed the time-honored values of our forefathers and called it
enlightenment.

Search us, Oh, God, and know our hearts today; cleanse us from every sin
and set us free.
Guide and bless these men and women who have been sent to direct us to the
center of Your will and to openly ask these things in the name of Your Son,
the living Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen!"

The response was immediate. A number of legislators walked out during the
prayer in protest.

In 6 short weeks, Central Christian Church, where Rev. Wright is pastor,
logged more than 5,000 phone calls with only 47 of those calls responding
negatively.

The church is now receiving international requests for copies of this
prayer from India, Africa, and Korea.

Commentator Paul Harvey aired this prayer on his radio program,"The Rest of
the Story", and received a larger response to this program than any other
he
has ever aired.

With the Lord's help, may this prayer sweep over our nation and
wholeheartedly become our desire so that we again can be called One Nation
Under God."

If possible, please pass this prayer on to your friends.
Think about this:
If you forward this prayer to everyone on your email list in less than 30
days it would be heard by the world, and that in itself would be a
wonderful thing for humanity.

If you are not ashamed of Lord Jesus....pass it on....

Have A Great Day!

GOD BLESS AMERICA

They never were.

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