How did he find out? She got pregnant, apparently on the very bed they shared, by another guy, attempted to abort it, and they called my brother at work when complications arose. He met Steve (the presumed dad) when he arrived. Lovely isn't it? Regina told him that she was leaving him when he went in to see her.
My brother is nobody's dummy. He was simply blindly in love with her. He would have forgiven that slut, raised the child as his own, and still put her upon a pedestal (if slightly tarnished) had she wished. I give thanks everyday that she did not. But no, up until that moment she acted the part of the doting wife. Everyone was shocked when it came out what she had been up to. Her sister is the one who clued us in partly because she felt so bad over my brothers devastation- financially as well as emotionally.
And it's sort of grimly amusing to see many of the posters, who would seek to deny the nose on their face, that the experiences that these men have gone through aren't real, that there's no bias - that marriage is just still honky-dory - and that it's all still men's fault...yadeyadeya. As if men were stupid enough to be argued into denying direct experience.
The happy thing is that, not all women are American. For American women that don't subscribe to the "It's all about me philosophy"- my sympathies - but you are rare and awful hard to find.
I travel a bit, and each time I go to South America, or recently to the ex-Soviet Union, I am struck by the unabashed femininity of the women - and the strikingly different attitudes they hold about men, women, sex and marriage. A little note on attitudes about sex. I don't know what 1950's paradigm is responsible for the cliche that men are the ones obsessed with sex - but that's laughably out-of-date. I think you all know what I'm talking about. If not, check out an average women's magazine.
But, no whining. The thing is - we have options! - but you need a passport. I've already ruined one guy by taking a trip with him to Cartagena, Colombia. Now, he just can't get interested in dating back here in Charlotte, NC - even though some women are throwing themselves at him. He's working on his next trip to Europe as I speak. Every time I go overseas - I meet a lot of guys with experiences like the ones I've heard in this thread. The difference is - they explored other options overseas, got married in some cases, and are able to smile, shake their heads - and say "Glad I'm out of that mess".
Maybe it's not for everybody. There are indeed complications. Language, culture, employment, visas, or contamination by Oprah after immigrating, but for what it's worth - it seems that it offers what marriage used to be.
And if anybody wants to flame me for my honest opinions about foreign women, go right ahead. It won't matter. :^)