If the husband isn't giving you a legitimate reason to grab up the kids and run for it and if he treats you well and with respect, it is YOUR DUTY as a woman and mother to stand by him through the poor times and weather them till the good ones return, not play horse changer in mid-stream.
Remember, you may not be as good as you THINK you are at choosing men the next time...Your ex MIGHT have been a stroke of luck you'll NEVER live to repeat!
. . .but when you luck out and land one (like mine) who is "broken-in" and treats you and the children like gold, you don't go tossing him back, sticking a knife in him, and twisting it every chance you get just to be a bitch.
What if he treats you and your children (his also, presumably) merely like silver?
If the husband isn't giving you a legitimate reason to grab up the kids and run for it and if he treats you well and with respect. . .
Who gets to make that judgement call, and does it override the lifetime commitment vowed during marriage?
No fault divorce has seduced some women to overlook this quality when things get a little tough in a marriage as they always do.
That's exactly how I feel about my wife. She doesn't have a vindictive bone in her body and I am lucky to have found her. So many of my friends and family members were not so lucky and it has costed them enormously. My wife's mother is a different story however. She has been divorced and is always looking for a man with money to latch on to. A truly miserable person and if my wife ever decided to leave me, she would be in her glory and would happily connive with her daughter to take me for evey penny.
Ever dated a 'bad boy'? Ever liked a 'bad boy'?
Answer yes, I am am over an out. First date, second, or whenever, I am over and out. If she lies and waits until later to fess up, I will leave her for lying and for liking 'bad boys'.
I sincerely believe that most divorces are initiated by the woman: she needs to "find herself", she "grew out of the relationship" or she's hanging out with too many other divorced women who sit around with their coffee and cigarettes and bitch and moan about the ex-SOB and what a great life they have now that they're away from him.
I have a WONDERFUL guy who treats me like a queen and is an awesome father to our children and I wouldn't give him up for anything. Thank God for marriage and I hope that there are still some men out there who haven't been kicked in the teeth so many times that they completely despise women. Marriage can be terrific when you're with the right person and you have the same outlook on life and you really love each other and are committed no matter what comes down the pike during your time together.
It's a real shame that marriage has been twisted so badly.
You're right.
Carolyn
Amen! Amen!
But, although the courts do seem to be stacked against the men, the blame cuts both ways. There are many lazy, immature women out there who put their stupid feelings ahead of the well-being of their children. Also, there are many immature men who marry for looks instead of searching for a woman of character. Often, people put more effort into deciding on what kind of car to buy than they invest in picking a mate.
Until our culture re-establishes marriage as a sacred commitment between a man and a woman that is to be preserved and nurtured, we are in a heap of trouble. And the biggest losers are not men or women but the children caught in the middle.
What you said.
I thank God every day that I didn't marry either of the guys I was engaged to when I was young (19 for the first, 21 for the second).
I also thank Him several times a day for sending me Xena's Guy. XG is the reason, I think, that God didn't let me marry either of those two losers . . . He knew there was someone better for me out there!