Freeoples Thread 306

[Mo1]

Freeoples ....

Thread 306

[Rowdee]

That was a fabulous comment.....I sent it to a friend, who belongs to another forum and he had the deelightful pleasure of using it this afternoon with another idiot!

[sweetliberty]

Hehehe...too bad we couldn't use this one for quote of the day!

[Rowdee]

Heheehee is right.......and we'd never be able to pull that one of....quote of the day, week, month, or year!!! LOL. Needless to say, on the other forum, there was a real hooting fest....especially at the idiot that deserved it!!

Picture this....he's trying to tell my friend that #130 comes before #3, #10, and #68 and calls my friend dumb!!!

Nope.....wasn't Lucius Cornelius Sulla...I think it is his twin brother, though.

[ValerieUSA]

Gabe and I went for a drive in the country before we had fajitas for dinner. We saw this big turtle crossing the gravel road in front of us. He was in hiding by the time we got stopped to take his picture.

[sweetliberty]

In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop a beautiful young woman was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight leather mini skirt with matching tight leather boots and jacket. As the bus rolled up and it became her turn to get on the bus she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the bus' first step. So slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver she reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg.

Again she tried to make the step onto the bus to discover she still could not make the step. So, a little more embarrassed she once again reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little more. And for a second time she attempted the step and once again, much to her chagrin she could not raise her leg because of the tight skirt. So with a coy little smile to the driver she again unzipped the offending skirt to give a little more slack and again was unable to make the step.

About this time the big Texan that was behind her in the line picked her up easily from the waist and placed her lightly on the step of the bus. Well, she went ballistic and turned on the would-be hero, screeching at him ''How dare you touch my body!! I don't even know who you are!! '' At this the Texan drawled, ''Well ma'am, normally I would agree with you but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we was friends.''

[lodwick]

Hey - coming from you, that's high praise indeed. Thanks.

Sometimes I think the puckerfactor is getting a little high around here. Some of us pay each and every month, and have for some time now, to have a nice home to discuss the issues, goof off, and just be with our invisible friends.

But God help if we should pile on a clueless pud who jumps in the middle of our play pool. Sometimes I just don't get it.

You guys have a truly superior evening, and thanks for being here. JL

[sweetliberty]

Here's another one I just got. I'd never heard it before.

Given that Al Gore has no job, he decided to take a sightseeing vacation to Europe. While visiting England, he is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people. He asks how she knows if they're intelligent. "I do so by asking them the right questions," says the Queen. "Allow me to demonstrate."

She phones Tony Blair and says, "Mr. Prime Minister. Please answer this question: "Your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?" Tony Blair responds, "It's me, ma'am." "Correct. Thank you and goodbye, sir," says the Queen. She hangs up and says,"Did you get that, Mr. Gore?" "Yes ma'am. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!"

Upon returning home, he decides he'd better put some of his old friends to the test. He calls Bill Clinton and says, "Hi, Bill, I wonder if you can answer a question for me." "Why, of course, Al. What's on your mind?" "Uhh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?" Clinton hems and haws and finally asks, "Can I think about it and get back to you?" Gore agrees, and Clinton hangs up.

Clinton immediately calls members of his old staff, and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer. Finally, in desperation, Clinton calls Colin Powell at the State Department and explains his problem. "Now look here, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?" Powell answers immediately, "It's me, of course, you idiot."

Much relieved, Clinton rushes back to call Gore and exclaims, "I know the answer, I know who it is! It's Colin Powell!" And Gore replies in disgust, "Wrong, it's Tony Blair."

[lodwick]

I'd seen that before, but it had been so long ago that I read it like an eager eight grader. Too funny!

WWJD? Ooops robes don't have zippers.

[lodwick]

I know it's stupid and pointless to ask, but did Mr.Turtle give you his bladderblessing? Glad to know that you guys had a nice outing today.

[ValerieUSA]

*L* Gabe is the one who held up the turtle for the picture, and he said, "Whooooeeee, it stinks!" so maybe that is what he smelled. Here's a big picture of the hidden turtle face

[lodwick]

That's our brain-dead algore. Good one - thank you.

I hate dim/lib/losers. Thanks for letting me "vent."

[lodwick]

Are you sure that you didn't pick up Madeline Allbright? That is one bitter looking turtle. Thanks for sharing all the pics; but this one should NOT go into your table book.

Save this for the fundraising efforts.

[Rowdee]

I've seen them both before sl, and had good laughs each time....especiallly the tight skirt one! :)

[ValerieUSA]

*L* Here's a little pretty picture

[sweetliberty]

Oh my, that turtle does not look impressed with you at all!

[ValerieUSA]

We were totally impressed with him, but he didn't return the awe. *L*
last picture of the day

[sweetliberty]

Well, critters are like that. I mean, I guess it's gotta be kinda weird for a turtle. Here you are, truckin' along minding your own business and all of a sudden some creature grabs you and starts fondling you and sticking mechanical eyes in your face. I reckon I wouldn't be impressed either.

[ValerieUSA]

The fajitas are weighing me down -- gonna go to the Y

[null and void]

I know it's stupid and pointless to ask, but did Mr.Turtle give you his bladderblessing? Glad to know that you guys had a nice outing today.

They usually wait until you flip them over. It points their cloacal vent towards a predator's face and improves their score...

[null and void]

Here's a big picture of the hidden turtle face

If his mouth was open, he'd look like Yasser...