10 Worst Cars of the Millennium

Car talk ^ | 04/18/02 | Click & Clack the Tappit Brothers

[yankeedame]

What's the Worst Car of the Millennium?

The motoring public has spoken!(with actually comments by those casting their vote).

And...the winner is...

Well, you'll just have to check for yourself!

And, if you ever owned one of thse top ten heaps of the millennium, please accept our humble condolences.

10th Place: The VW Bus

"If everyone had to own one of these as a first car as I did, there would be no traffic jams anywhere. At least half of us would be so turned off by the experience of owning a car, that we would seek alternate means of transporation."

"There was no heat-- unless, that is, the auxillary gas heater caught on fire."

"The bus had no heat, blew over in the wind and used the driver's legs as its first line of defense in an accident."

"It was a death trap on the highway- you could never go fast enough. The chances were good that you'd be hit from the rear."

9th Place: Renault Dauphine

"Truly unemcumbered by the engineering process."

At the time, it cost about half the price of a Volkswagen...which was half the price of everything else. How could Renault do this? Simple. It had half as many parts."

"This car topped out at 45 mph. Since the minimum speed on the Florida Turnpike is 40, patrol cars would follow me, waiting for me to hit a hill so they could ticket me."

"From a historical perspective, it's a shame that the French spent their Marshall Plan dollars on automaking."

"A side impact by a bicycle totalled my Dauphine after only one year."

8th Place: Cadillac Cimarron

"GM thoght they could take a Chevy Cavalier, slap some Cadillac stuff on it, add an extra $5,000.00 and sell a bundle. Tragicaly enought, they pulled it off- for a while."

"Hands down, worst car for the money spent. Yugos were junk, but at least they were cheap. This heap had Caddy price tag!"

7th Place: Dodge Aspen/ Plymouth Volare

"This car began to rust while it was still in the showroom."

"After the floor boards rusted out the rear, they would fill up with water and freeze. I ended up putting soda crates on the floor in the back to keep people from falling under the car."

"The only useful purpose this car served was as the model for the car used in National Lampoon's Vacation"

"Owning a Volare was total ego death- the theme song, the vinal Landau roof, the inability to pass another car on the highway."

6th Place: Renault LeCar

"I'm convinced that the body for this car was supplied by Reynold's Aluminum."

"Our LeCar couldn't climb a hill fully loaded, so the passengers had to get out and walk up."

"I left it unlocked, and it was finally stolen. The insurance check paid for a textbook."

5th Place: Chevy Chevette

"An engine surrounded by 4 pieces of dry wall!"

"Plywood floor, printed circuit 'wiring', and no redeeming qualities. It was a 'Saturdy Night Special' from the word go."

"If I got on the Interstate without being run over, the car would creep towards 55. About an hour later, I'd reach it. Then, the shaking would begin."

4th Place: AMC Gremlin

"It was entirely possible to read a Russian novel during the pause between stepping on the gas and feeling any semblance of forward motion."

"The car had all the quality and safety of a cheap gardentractor."

3rd Place: Ford Pinto

"Dad had a baby-poop-orange pinto the year that car thieves hit our street. Although a dozen cars were stolen in one night, ours was there the next morning, on a strangely empty block."

"Remember that great Pinto bumper sticker,'Hit Me and We Blow Up Together'?"

"The car would do 75mph in 2nd gear, shaking apart and sounding like a bat out of hell. In fourth gear, the top speed was 70mph. What's wrong with this picture? You do the math."

2nd Place: Chevy Vega

"When the read end went on my Vega, the Chevy dealer accused me of racing it. Racing who? My grandfather in hs wheelchair?"

"Burned so much oil, it was single handedly responsible for the formation of OPEC."

"My Chevy Vega actualy broke in half going over railroad tracks. The whole rear end came around slightly to the front, sort of like a dog wagging its tail."

And the winner of the worst car of the millennium is...

THE YUGO

"I once tested a Yugo, during which the radio fell out, the gear shift knob came off in my hand, and I saw daylight through the strip around the windshield"

"Any time we made a right hand turn, we all had to lean to the right to prevent the drver's side rear tire from scraping against the wheel well."

"The Yugo's first stop after the showroom was he service departmnt:'Fill 'er up and replace the engine!' "

[stands2reason]

I'm only familiar with B210's by reading the want ads. Never saw one listed over $1000.

[stands2reason]

How 'bout an '84 Audi 5000S? Beautiful, German-engineered, total POS. Consumer Reports actually had to issue an apology for recommending it.

[E.Allen]

Why did Lucas win an Iron Cross during WWII?

They brought down more Spitfires than the Luftwaffe.

Why did they put heated rear windows on Yugos?

To keep your hands warm while you pushed them.

[Ol' Sox]

I had the privilege of owning a number of bad, bad cars. First, I had a 1962 Corvair - Two Speed on the Dashboard. At speeds approaching 50, the front end would get a little light, so you didn't want to make any hasty turns or anything.

I also had a Datsun F-10, the front wheel drive version of the B210. Lets just chalk that one up to experimentation - they hadn't quite figured out how to meld FWD and suspension just yet.

Finally, there was the Nissan Pulsar Turbo. They only made the Turbo version for six months. I found out why when the turbofan shattered and threw a red-hot piece of blade up the oil hose and it caught fire one lovely morning on the Merrit Parkway. This was the end of a car that had to have its "brains" replaced at 8k, 12k, 14k and 19k miles. Had to send all the way to Japan for it, too.

I'm wide-trackin' these days. Noooo problems!

[XDemocrat]

"Plywood floor, printed circuit 'wiring' The Chevette didn't have plywood flooring, I know because mine rusted, through and the brake and clutch pedals fell out.

[stands2reason]

My father had the nerve to pack 2 kids, wife, luggage and skiing equipment in/on his brand-new (at the time) '74 Dastun 280Z for a 600 mile trip to Ruidoso, New Mexico. I've suffered from claustrophobia ever since.

[Leo Carpathian]

How can you have a "10 Worst Cars" list, and not have a Trabant on it? Indeed, this 10 worst list is worthless without a Trabi. Take note authors: The Trabant (1949 to 1989) was the GDR's answer to the Volkswagen. Intended to be economical, convenient and ubiquitous, it succeeded in being only the latter.

There were no Trabants sold in US because Chevrolet bought all of them. They used bodies for ashtrays, engines for windshild wipers.

[UB355]

Absolutely right about the Gremlin. The one my family had for the kids use had 232 cubic inch six. I'd embarrass many a Camaro and Mustang driver.

[Bogey78O]

There's a reason why they call it the 28oz. and it isn't because of it's name.

[Leisler]

May I suggest the Dodge Dart and the Swinger? You couldn't fix things fast enough. Oddly, if you did nothing the cars would degrade into some sort of state where most of it wouldn't work, but it wouldn't get worse unless you fixed something.

My personal favorite was a late 70's Jeep Wagoneer. You could hear it rusting. It leaked every fluid. The tailgate was good for a year or so. Drum brakes all around, stoped in less than a C-5A, almost. It had it's own sonic boom at 55 and if you stayed brave would smooth out at 65. Nice big bench seats for and aft though. And you never had to worry about having empty beer cans, as they would roll out a floorpan hole somewhere. Very cold in the winter due to the speed controled breeze. I miss the vent windows. No one dared hit me.

[tacticalogic]

My father had the nerve to pack 2 kids, wife, luggage and skiing equipment in/on his brand-new (at the time) '74 Dastun 280Z for a 600 mile trip to Ruidoso, New Mexico. I've suffered from claustrophobia ever since.

When I was 16, I rode from KC to StL nonstop in a Gremlin. Not in a seat, mind you, but in the little compartment behind the back seat, which I shared with a toolbox and a spare tire.

[vetvetdoug]

My baby sister had a Gremlin, puke green, and was really a good car. It's demise was when a telephone pole was run through it during the Wichita Falls Tornado of April 10th, 1979. Peeled it just like a sardine can. I was impressed with how the steel was just rolled up.

I had a 73' Vega and it burned about a quart of oil every two tanks of gas. It got me through college though. Ironically, the Vega was pretty good through snow. It seems it was so low to the ground that it acted like a sled with wheels. I could pass semi's and FWD like they were standing still. My ex-wife's hair changed from red to blonde during those times also.

[MotleyGirl70]

How can you have a "10 Worst Cars" list, and not have a Trabant on it?

...and not have the Ford Escort!!!!!

[john in missouri]

I had the Pontiac version of the Chevy Citation.

The Pontiac Phoenix. Only new car I've ever purchased. Transmission problems from the word go. In the shop so much the mechanics thought I was a family member.

Remember the Pontiac Firebirds that always used to have a big flaming firebird painted on the hood? As far as the Phoenix went, I entertained serious thoughts of painting a flaming lemon on the hood of mine...

[TC Rider]

I have to dispute the comments about the Gremlin. While admittedly UGLY, it was available with the AMC 360 V8 as an option. A friend of mine has one & loves to outrun kids in their Mustangs & Camaros. (The even UGLIER Pacer was also available with this engine)

I'm astounded. I was sure every V-8 Gremlin had met it's tree or ditch by now. Your friend has obviously learned to only race in straight lines.

[TC Rider]

The "true" diesels were a different animal.

I haven't heard that expresion in years.

Murphy = True diesel

A Murphy will put along for years at about 600 RPM.

[Chemnitz]

It's said that the Trabbies had rear window heaters to keep people's hands warm when pushing it.

[TC Rider]

"Maybe the distributor is damp","England is a damp country"

LOL, this thread is bringing back way to many memories. I was getting ready to explain why I owned three Vegas and now you've reminded me of my first car.

In 1968 I bought a well used Triumph Herald 1200 for $60.00. It actually ran pretty well, when the relative humidity was beneath 60%. I never did understand the masochism required to build such a fair weather car for such a foul weather country.

For those of you who are wondering, here's a snap of one. Most people thought it was the Aquacar and kept asking where the props were.

[Chemnitz]

We had a blue (with white vinyl top) Aspen. We were so proud to see it featured as one of the all time lemons. We loved the car. We repaired it all the time. I put so much body filler in it that we called it Bondo Beauty. I drilled holes in the trunk wells to let rain water out. The front floor rusted so badly that I had to re-create the floor in Bondo. My wife asked (in front of our invalid daughter), "What are you going to do if the Aspen has one more thing wrong with it?" I said, "Take off the plates, drive into a ditch, and walk away." Our daughter could not stop laughing.

Dieseling? Did I mention that? The Aspen would rattle and run long after I turned off the ingnition. If I fluttered the gas I could keep it going forever, it seemed. The great thing about the dieseling (when the car was left alone) was how it went on and on, then grew louder, then stopped amid a huge rattling sound and cloud of black smoke. We were convulsed with laughter when that happened.

[handk]

You're all wrong!

This is the worst car ever made.

"The HomerMobile"