Norm
They dont make 'em like this anymore!
Posted on 04/18/2002 2:44:38 PM PDT by yankeedame
What's the Worst Car of the Millennium?
The motoring public has spoken!(with actually comments by those casting their vote).
And...the winner is...
Well, you'll just have to check for yourself!
And, if you ever owned one of thse top ten heaps of the millennium, please accept our humble condolences.
10th Place: The VW Bus
"If everyone had to own one of these as a first car as I did, there would be no traffic jams anywhere. At least half of us would be so turned off by the experience of owning a car, that we would seek alternate means of transporation."
"There was no heat-- unless, that is, the auxillary gas heater caught on fire."
"The bus had no heat, blew over in the wind and used the driver's legs as its first line of defense in an accident."
"It was a death trap on the highway- you could never go fast enough. The chances were good that you'd be hit from the rear."
9th Place: Renault Dauphine
"Truly unemcumbered by the engineering process."
At the time, it cost about half the price of a Volkswagen...which was half the price of everything else. How could Renault do this? Simple. It had half as many parts."
"This car topped out at 45 mph. Since the minimum speed on the Florida Turnpike is 40, patrol cars would follow me, waiting for me to hit a hill so they could ticket me."
"From a historical perspective, it's a shame that the French spent their Marshall Plan dollars on automaking."
"A side impact by a bicycle totalled my Dauphine after only one year."
8th Place: Cadillac Cimarron
"GM thoght they could take a Chevy Cavalier, slap some Cadillac stuff on it, add an extra $5,000.00 and sell a bundle. Tragicaly enought, they pulled it off- for a while."
"Hands down, worst car for the money spent. Yugos were junk, but at least they were cheap. This heap had Caddy price tag!"
7th Place: Dodge Aspen/ Plymouth Volare
"This car began to rust while it was still in the showroom."
"After the floor boards rusted out the rear, they would fill up with water and freeze. I ended up putting soda crates on the floor in the back to keep people from falling under the car."
"The only useful purpose this car served was as the model for the car used in National Lampoon's Vacation"
"Owning a Volare was total ego death- the theme song, the vinal Landau roof, the inability to pass another car on the highway."
6th Place: Renault LeCar
"I'm convinced that the body for this car was supplied by Reynold's Aluminum."
"Our LeCar couldn't climb a hill fully loaded, so the passengers had to get out and walk up."
"I left it unlocked, and it was finally stolen. The insurance check paid for a textbook."
5th Place: Chevy Chevette
"An engine surrounded by 4 pieces of dry wall!"
"Plywood floor, printed circuit 'wiring', and no redeeming qualities. It was a 'Saturdy Night Special' from the word go."
"If I got on the Interstate without being run over, the car would creep towards 55. About an hour later, I'd reach it. Then, the shaking would begin."
4th Place: AMC Gremlin
"It was entirely possible to read a Russian novel during the pause between stepping on the gas and feeling any semblance of forward motion."
"The car had all the quality and safety of a cheap gardentractor."
3rd Place: Ford Pinto
"Dad had a baby-poop-orange pinto the year that car thieves hit our street. Although a dozen cars were stolen in one night, ours was there the next morning, on a strangely empty block."
"Remember that great Pinto bumper sticker,'Hit Me and We Blow Up Together'?"
"The car would do 75mph in 2nd gear, shaking apart and sounding like a bat out of hell. In fourth gear, the top speed was 70mph. What's wrong with this picture? You do the math."
2nd Place: Chevy Vega
"When the read end went on my Vega, the Chevy dealer accused me of racing it. Racing who? My grandfather in hs wheelchair?"
"Burned so much oil, it was single handedly responsible for the formation of OPEC."
"My Chevy Vega actualy broke in half going over railroad tracks. The whole rear end came around slightly to the front, sort of like a dog wagging its tail."
And the winner of the worst car of the millennium is...
THE YUGO
"I once tested a Yugo, during which the radio fell out, the gear shift knob came off in my hand, and I saw daylight through the strip around the windshield"
"Any time we made a right hand turn, we all had to lean to the right to prevent the drver's side rear tire from scraping against the wheel well."
"The Yugo's first stop after the showroom was he service departmnt:'Fill 'er up and replace the engine!' "
Pintos were pretty cool though. OHC inline 4 (used in formula ford racing) and 4 wheel disk brakes if I remeber right. My sister had one, gutless, but much better than the Chevy Shuvette.
Signatures on the rag top aren't essential administration notes for future buyers or fiancees. Also, I've found it's best never to admit to anyone other than your buddies that you've seen the soles of shoes of girls you've dated, in your wing mirrors.
Q - What are the 3 positions for British cars light switches?
A - Off, Dim and Flicker
Q - Why are there no British made computers?
A - Because no matter how hard they try, it is almost impossible to get them to leak oil.
Cheers,
knews hound
A. Lucas made their refridgerators
Or from the movie Gumball Rally..
"Maybe the distributor is damp","England is a damp country"
On the old Hwy 40 over Donner Summit in the Sierra Nevada was the town of Floristan and nearby was a curve in the highway above the Truckee River. Let any VW Bus catch a puff of wind while negotiating that curve and there would be another VW Bus in the Truckee River.
Not that these were totally pathetic vehicles (although the 1980's version of these were flimsy pieces of junk), if I see another in-bred, cheap, white-trash redneck driving one of these on the crappy side of town, I'll have to boycott that area. If you can't get enough of mullet haircuts, Lynard Skynard, and pro-wrestling t-shirts, may I suggest a time transport back to 1978; a time when Foghat and Starsky-n-Hutch ruled the world.
P.S.: What's the favorite colored car on the east side of town? Primer.
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