Posted on 02/23/2002 6:23:46 PM PST by Hillary's Lovely Legs
A typical veiled slam against all men. Not all men think with the "small head". The only issue I would take with your first list is the "able to read women's moods and minds" bit. Men may be able to do that to a point, if they're paying attention, but it's not right to demand that they "must" be able to do that or they are imperfect. A man will get better at doing so with a woman he is close to, as in marriage, but it doesn't come naturally. Women need to understand that they are sometimes a complete mystery to men, and it frustrates us when we are castigated or belittled for not knowing what seems so obvious to them. It works both ways...men can be equally as frustrated over a woman's inability to see things from an objective point of view, rather than emotionally. Rather than see those traits as negatives, both need to see them as traits which add to the other's view of the world, and of their relationship. Too many people go into marriage without a clear idea of what it means to meld two lives into one relationship, one common life, having a common set of goals and desires.
Your first list was pretty good. If that is what women say they want, why do they settle for so much less? The disconnect here is not that men are such low-lifes, it is that women settle for so much less than what they really want. It is completely unrealistic for a woman to say she wants those things, then get involved with a man who is far less than that with the idea that she will "change" him. Why not find a man who is already the way you want him to be? It's a lot less work, and a lot more enjoyment for both. The onus is not on the men, it's on the women. It's the women who need to quit being such self-centered, whiny, contradictory wimps and respect themselves more.
Men are not stupid. We will take the path of least resistance, but that is because we have enough challenges in our lives without having to fight the battles at home, too. A man wants his home to be his safe haven, his respite and refuge from the world, not the central battleground! Men want to feel wanted, appreciated, useful, protective, and safe with the woman he chooses to open up enmotionally to. Too many women betray a man's trust with demands, petty bickering, unreasonable expectations, and strife, and then wonder why he looks elsewhere for what he needs. Too many women are stuck on "I want", "I need", "Why can't you be more...", "I shouldn't have to tell you...". Men automatically tune that out, because we see it for what it is: a no-win scenario, and men don't like to lose. That's just the way we are, ladies. Make us feel like winners, and we'll move heaven and earth to try to make you happy. Make us feel like losers, and it's "Bye, see ya!"
or
Beats me.
Because it makes sense.
In prior generations, men who cheated on their wives increased the chances of their genes being passed down to future generations.
And until the recent availability of genetic testing, a man could never be sure that the children his wife carried were his; so by attempting to impregnate someone else's wife or daughter on the side, such men hedged their evolutionary bets.
What's more, many women inherit a tendency to be attracted to men who cheat because such men will probably pass the cheating tendency to any sons the women bear such a husband (or boyfriend on the side--women cheat too), thereby helping to ensure that her genes will be spread by her cheating sons and their male offspring among all the generations that follow.
And finally, in a society that does not allow polygamy, having a mistress on the side is the equivalent of having a number two wife.
Now this is only one evolutionary strategy--people have other strategies for passing their genes along; evolution, too, hedges its bets.
Let's say your wife was "approached" by someone you THOUGHT was a very good friend, and that person made some cruel comments regarding you... in an attempt to steal your wife from you. Let's say that your wife decided to not tell you about the incident and allowed you to continue to treat this person as a friend... and help out that person when he was down and out. Let's say that her failure to notify you of this incident caused you to feel like a complete fool.... and used. Was she being a "b*tch" or was she really just trying to protect you?
In no particular order, that they be willing to have sex.
Err, now tell us what do men want of a wife.
While I do believe there are times it is better to withold a comment to protect the feelings of your spouse, I feel that should be used for minor things, i.e. a haircut or a tie....
But, a wife's loyalty should be to her husband, and not only should she have torn the "friend" a "new one", she should have told her husband so he would be aware of how good a friend this guy was....
But, that is just my opinion..
Not that I needed it but, your post further confirmed that my wife and I are really meant for each other. Thanks.
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