Posted on 09/16/2026 9:48:38 PM PDT by SeekAndFind
The Institute for Family Studies (IFS) recently estimated that the gap between unmarried and married men under the age of 40 continues to widen—with 15 million more bachelors than husbands between the ages of 20 to 39 in 2025.
The gap has widened by 12.4 million since 2000, when the gap between married and unmarried stood at 2.6 million.
IFS also reports, according to a General Social Survey, 11 percent of young adults in the early 2000s said they were “not too happy.” That percentage is now at 26 percent. During the same period, the number of married men ages 20–39 dropped by 15 percent.
Leading the unhappiness charge are single men, who are either postponing or rejecting marriage, or not perceived as a suitable marriage partner by single women because of various societal changes.
This is a serious problem for American society.
In his book, “Men and Marriage,” (an expanded edition of his 1973 work “Sexual Suicide”) George Gilder wrote: “Men lust, but they don’t know what for; they wander, and lose track of the goal; they fight and compete, but they forget the prize; they spread seed but spurn the seasons of growth; they chase power and glory but miss the meaning of life.”
Brad Wilcox of IFS agrees with Gilder: “Such men are more likely to be lonely, prone to deaths of despair and unhappy. It’s never good for a society to have large numbers of unattached, dispirited, and unhappy young men.”
A Wall Street Journal article from last year titled, “American Women are Giving Up on Marriage,” touches on several reasons why women are not getting married—whether it be trouble finding a suitable man or choosing a career over marriage.
Disillusioned with the current state of what they perceive to be suitable and available men, they say they are more content with singleness than their male counterparts. A commonly heard complaint is that in their search of a suitable man to marry, they are only finding a world of “man-children.”
So, why has this happened? Why are there so many unmarried young men and why are women having a hard time finding a suitable partner in what would seemingly be an abundant harvest?
First, many of these young men have no idea of what it takes to be a husband or father because they had no one to model that for them. This is just another symptom of the breakdown of the family, a culture of divorce, and a society that has economically awarded single parent families while placing financial burdens on traditional two-parent families.
Secondly, especially among working class men, the jobs that would have traditionally provided for a family have either not kept up with inflation, or in some cases, simply disappeared. In addition, our educational system is no longer providing the needed training for these men to enter the workplace and succeed. Meanwhile, the number of men attending college, the ticket to good paying and stable jobs, continues to decrease.
Finally, numerous voices in our culture have sent a message that women can succeed without having a husband—“A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle,” as the saying goes. But when men are not marrying, there is a ripple effect that impacts all aspects of our society.
For example, according to the Centers for Disease Control, the percentage of children born outside of marriage has risen from 33.2 percent of all live births in 2000 to 39.5 percent in 2024. This means a much higher percentage of young people are growing up in single parent households. And single parent households are often more dependent upon government assistance, with boys who grow up without a father often ending up failing socially and economically.
Those numbers also indicate that we’re hurtling toward a demographic disaster. Married couples not only provide a nurturing environment for children but also are more likely to have children.
It is not that young men have given up on marriage. Pew Research reported in 2023 that 74 percent of teenage boys want to be married someday. The problem is that many have no internal road map or GPS to help them get there.
As a society, we need to equip these young men with the skills, personal discipline, and sense of purpose to make them “marriage material.” It is a time for us, as a society, to return to a time when men have purpose—to be faithful husbands, loving fathers, and good providers.
This is going to be a long process, and it will require a long-term societal investment in affirming healthy, traditional two-parent families with engaged fathers who model such discipline and purpose to their sons. Boys do not have a choice when it comes to the families they are born into, but adults can make the right choices to help them flourish and thrive.
Men, women, and our society will be much better off as a result.
Marriage is ordained by God. God set the rules for marriage and anything outside of His plan will ultimately have problems, issues and challenges that cannot be resolved. The Bible (God’s word) clearly lays out what His plan for marriage decrees. Mark 10:6-9 Says, “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
Colossians 3:18-19 says “Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.”
Ephesians 5:25-26 says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word.”
And if obeying God’s plan becomes difficult as human nature ultimately will find ways that cause that to happen, Christ showed us how giving our lives to Him means He always is there to help us. As Proverbs 16:9 says, “In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.”
The world has turned its back on God and we are seeing the results and it’s not a pretty picture.
“ADAM”, the American Divorce Association for Men, has been around since 1988. The fathers and grandfathers of young men who avoid marriage and women in general have their horror stories.
They started off in Southfield, MI and business has been so good for ADAM that they even have offices in Traverse City and Gaylord.
https://www.adamdivorcelaw.com/
https://www.adamnorthernmichigan.com/
Why buy the cow when:
You can get the milk for free.
There is a very high probability the cow will divorce you taking half your stuff and the kids.
The cow has given its milk to whoever wants it and will continue to do so.
The cow will become a fat pig.
So why is the West importing so many of them if it already has a lifetime supply???
Regarding earning potential and social standing:
Women tend to marry across and up.
Men tend to marry across and down.
Yep! Exactly
For the same reason women aren’t.
Prolonged adolescence.
“women don’t come with a carfax report and they can’t ever be recalled....”
True. And just wait until they need paint and their parts start wearing out. OEM replacement is out of the question.
Clearest description and explanation of marriage I’ve read.
Well stated by you.
George Orwell died 1950.He either saw the future or he knew women nature. Nothing new.
They’re not marrying because they want to live happy, healthy lives.
I got married in 73 at 18 right out of HS. A job wasn’t a consideration, my goals were anything but defined. We were in love and no she wasn’t pregnant. We’re still in love, still married, retired and living the dream.
Studies offer excuses. Folks don’t talk anymore, they text but I will agree the educational system is totally screwed and pushing out many indoctrinated idiots.
women don’t come with a carfax report and they can’t ever be recalled....
~~~
If someone is single, willing to date you, and they seem attractive, nice, and without baggage or complications, you either won the lottery or just haven’t scratched the surface.
Also, I know a fair number of people have a moral problem with co-habitation before marriage, but I have learned and witnessed many a time that you don’t find out who you are dating until they finally let their guard down and show you have they want to live. The people who put up a big front eventually can’t help but show their true colors.
We need to ask ourselves how we got here:
1) Moving away from the family to the individual as the organizing principle of society.
2) Feminism: the denial of the unique and proper role of women as wives and mothers. Women have been stripped of their natural identity. Without that men see no reason to support them.
3) The separation of sex from marriage and procreation. Sex has become inconsequential. When children were assumed to be the natural outcome both men and women ordered their desires to care for them, hence marriage. This also leads to the rise of homosexuality and “transgenderism.”
4) No fault divorce which basically outlawed marriage. A man and a woman are no longer able to make a lifetime binding contract to each other. Without that commitment modern marriage is just playing house.
5) The two items even most conservatives do not want to address: Pornography and birth control. The order sexual desires towards lust rather than the commitment of love in marriage.
6) The abandonment of Christianity as the guiding principle of society. Christianity guides the individual to abandon his selfish desires and direct himself to love and self-sacrifice. Secularism naturally leads to selfish individualism.
7) Courts and an education system that has been lost to the liberals which teach and enforce all of the above.
For too long conservatives have complained about all of this but have not pushed back. For example, we complain about homosexuals but we are too cowed to publicly say that homosexuality is a perversion that should not be accepted in society. We complain about “transgenderism” and mock it with the question of “what is a woman” but how many conservative leaders will outright say that there is not such thing as transgenderism, that these are mentally disturbed people who are nothing more that transvestites? And how many people will vocally declare that indeed the proper role of women is in the home as wives and mothers rather than in the workplace? When the left pushes and we do not push back we should not be surprised that the society goes with them.
My son is a hard working, wonderful person with a good job. I shudder think what girl is out there. He was dating some social worker who I assume is a flaming democrat. He never told me about her or introduced her. She was older than he is and had a 21 year old son. My son is a conservative who thinks the Democrats are insane. At this point, I assume that fling is in the dustheap of history.
I pray frequently that the right girl happens along for him. I hope he isn’t too damaged by the fact that I married into a nutcase narcissistic family and his father was incapable of love and we went through a bad divorce when my son was a teenager.
Fortunately, my conservative beautiful daughter found a (seemingly) nice Christian Texas boy to marry with a good family.
Neither of my kids is a drug user or tattoo bearer.
Not bad if a true split of post-marriage assets and liabilities.
Still doesn’t fix the bias with regard to children and the ease which women game the abuse accusation to gain tactical advantage.
Bottom line, it’s not worth the grief, expense, or risk. Women today “don’t need no man” and they don’t hide it.
Are you insinuating that females are gullible? How dare you!
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