The Odyssey

7/27/26 | NIkos1121

[nikos1121]

I went into Christopher Nolan’s Odyssey expecting a cinematic event. Instead, I saw one of the worst movies ever made. I made it to the 90-minute mark before walking out, but I really should have bailed a half-hour in.

We have been utterly bamboozled. As someone who appreciates a script that actually works, I can tell you this screenplay is nonsensical. Combine that with unwatchable lighting and completely incomprehensible audio, and the whole production just falls apart on screen. Matt Damon is completely miscast and entirely too soft to play Odysseus. Honestly, the campy old Steve Reeves movies or Sinbad the Sailor pack more entertainment value than this bloated mess.

If anyone tells you this film is good, they are lying. It will not win—let alone be nominated for—a single Oscar. Do yourself a favor and see The Devil Wears Prada 2 or Michael instead. I am not exaggerating when I say that when my time comes to sit in a nursing home, my first request to the Almighty will be for a refund on the 90 minutes I lost to this three-hour joke. No one with an ounce of common sense should sit through it.

[MayflowerMadam]

Hollywood sure does put out some stinkers.

We used to live in Thousand Oaks, CA, and the studios would approach people in malls to give free tickets to movies close to the end of production.

It was like a struggle session. They snuck you in a side door of a theater, made you sign something like an NDA (”keep your mouth shut after you leave”, basically), you had to stay to fill out a written survey re opinions on everything about the movie and discuss it, and ... you couldn’t leave until the end.

We left BEFORE the end a few times. The minute demons or homosexuals showed up we walked out. The guard at the door was not happy, but we told him exactly why and we hope that info got to the production people.

I think the last one we stayed through was “City Of Angels”, and that was a long time ago.

[central_va]

I liked the claymation version.

[norwaypinesavage]

"this screenplay is nonsensical. Combine that with unwatchable lighting and completely incomprehensible audio, and the whole production just falls apart on screen."

That pretty much describes most movies of the past few decades. What makes this one unique?

[MayflowerMadam]

“she is train wreck in this film.”

Which she? The black chick or the Ellen person?

[maddog55]

You went to see a movie..first mistake. I haven’t been to one in well over 20 years. Wouldn’t pay to see a movie in a theater full of idiots and cell phones.

About every movie is a remake and I won’t watch anything with any LGBTWRSTUVWXYZ shxt show in it so I’m limited to older shows or movies or a good book.

[Vermont Lt]

If you need to go to the rest room twice in 90 minutes….go get your prostate checked. That’s a bad sign.

[nikos1121]

No…. I didn’t pee… was to wash my hands and kill time…

[Ge0ffrey]

I’d take this review more seriously if you had watched the entire movie.

[Savage Beast]

As a devoted Hellenophile, I envy you the home on Ithaka.

I have not seen this version of The Odyssey and don't intend to. Do you think the whole thing is woke propaganda?

I love The Odyssey and The Iliad. As a child I listened in fascination as my parents read and discussed them. The images and ideas danced in my imagination all my life and colored my view of life and the world. I love the suggestions, of James Joyce et al., that Ulysses' journey is everyone's journey through this great adventure of life.

Hollywood has a long history of making silly versions of great works.

It would be wonderful if someone would make truly great movie versions of both of Homer's classics. Of course, each would have to be a long series (not just a few hours long).

Splendid version of classics have been made. The excellent 1930 version of All Quiet on the Western Front with Lew Ayers, Gone with the Wind, the 1995 version of Pride and Prejudice with Jennifer Ehle and Colin Firth, and the magnificent 1995 Il Gattopardo (The Leopard) come immediately to mind.

Oh how I would love to see more splendid versions of great works brought to life as movies!

[yesthatjallen]

Was there theather full? Were there crowds or lines?

[Vermont Lt]

That’s good to hear. I know it was a “throwaway” line, but knowing folks who have had that problem, it can be ignored. If it is ignored for too long, it could be a big issue.

And thanks for the review. 3 hours is too long for even a good movie.

[BipolarBob]

Oh, I didn’t know that.

[BluH2o]

Actually, I was ready to walk out after the first 20-25 minutes of the Odyssey. We were at an early afternoon showing with few people in attendance, so it was almost like a private viewing. A nearly three-hour movie should have had an intermission ... but half of the already small audience probably would have left. Lawrence of Arabia was another long move at 3hrs. 47 minutes (with an intermission) but it was an excellent movie that kept you enthralled for the entire length. Ben-Hur another classic movie that ran well over 3 hours included an intermission ... again it kept you on the edge of your seat for its entire length. The Odyssey which was hyped to be the same type of movie as the old classics didn't come close in comparison.

[packrat35]

I met him once at a film festival.

[Hootowl]

I’ve only seen one movie that was better than the book, “Jaws.”

[PUGACHEV]

I agree with you completely. The movie was bad and the script was worse. However, having settled into my seat and with a big box of popcorn in my lap, I decided to stick it out. I quickly saw that this had nothing to do with Homer’s Odyssey. It was really just a goofy monster film with affectations from the original. Once I accepted that, I began to enjoy the shambles Nolan produced: Agamemnon dressed as batman, Odyessus racked with modern war guilt, and a late-Broze Age Odysseus armed with a Roman steel gladius running to reach his Viking longship in order to escape giants dressed in medieval armor. How can it get better than that? Although, there were some high points I truly enjoyed: Charlize Theron’s Calypso, Ann Hataway’s Penelope, and Bill Irwin as the Cyclops

[rlmorel]

LOL, I have been waiting for The Critical Drinker to weigh in after he got a chance to see it...(as he starts off his review with the classic:

"Well...we're waiting!

Which sums up how I was feeling, as much as I enjoy his reviews, and he finally delivers:

LINK TO THE CRITICAL DRINKER REVIEW: The Odyssey - A Disastrous Triumph

Hahahahaha...a quote from his review really made me laugh aloud describing the attitude about the bastardization of the movie by Nolan:

"...I only spit in your food a little bit, so why aren't you eating?..."

Now that's entertainment!

But he is kinder than I would be overall, giving Nolan credit for not using CGI greatly and shooting on sites, but his commentary is endearingly biting:

"...You know, when I see the frankly ludicrous amount of praise that's been heaped on this movie over the past week, it kind of reminds me of the borderline hysteria around "Black Panther" a few years ago except with the pretentious wannabe intellectuals terrified of getting lumped in with the unwashed Plebs if they dare to criticize Nolan's masterpiece or just partisan Culture Warriors basically willing to do anything to own the Chuds...

(For those who don't know, "Chuds" is referring to right-wing, knuckle-dragging Neanderthals!)

Anyway, if you like The Critical Drinker, you will enjoy his biting analysis, replete with the repetitive imagery he employs to acceptable effect to avoid copyright battles, and to speed his production process!

[nikos1121]

Haha... We got there 20 minutes early to secure our seats. The crowd was absolutely electric—by which I mean there was exactly one guy barricaded in the top corner of the balcony like a sniper, and a random couple who wandered in right at the start. Five of us total. A true cinematic event.

At the 30-minute mark, I leaned over to Kate and asked if she was getting into it. She had this blank, thousand-yard stare, like she was mentally grading her kindergarteners’ finger-paintings instead of watching the screen. She blinked and whispered, “I’m not sure if I know what’s going on here.” Right on cue, the other couple stood up, walked out into the lobby, and never returned. Smart people. I envy them.

By the one-hour mark, I was crawling out of my skin. Odysseus and his crew were out at sea, so I figured it was a safe time to hit the restroom, wash my hands, and just kill a few minutes of my life. I took my time. I really scrubbed. I came back to my seat, and guess what? They were still out to sea.

Then comes the Trojan Horse scene. This monstrous wooden structure washes up on the beach, and a little messenger pops up to tell the Trojans, “Hey, it’s a gift! War’s over!” A few minutes later, hundreds of extras show up and proceed to physically drag this colossal wooden sucker through the sand all the way to the gates of Troy. Just dragging it! Meanwhile, Nolan keeps cutting to Odysseus and his men trapped inside the belly of this thing. They are sweating, passing gas, and actively complaining about peeing and pooping on each other. Yes, they actually say this out loud on camera.

After what feels like an actual eternity in real-time, they finally get left inside the gates, night falls, and they scamper down their ropes to let the army in. Why they couldn’t just put some wooden wheels on the darn thing and roll it in—taking maybe two minutes instead of treating us to a grueling marathon of chafing and flatulence—is completely beyond me.

[rlmorel]

See the review above...I think the casting for effect and bastardization of the supposedly Feminist interpretation (The interpreter was appalled by the script and said so) but the woke elements are small, apparently.

Just a bad script and storytelling of a great story.

[PUGACHEV]

"This monstrous wooden structure washes up on the beach, and a little messenger pops up to tell the Trojans, “Hey, it’s a gift! War’s over!”

That little messenger was Sinon, played by Elliot Page. That casting generated quite a bit of comment and negative reaction, both here and elsewhere. To my surprise, it was an actually inspired choice. He/she was perfect for the role.