Posted on 06/22/2026 10:36:40 AM PDT by V_TWIN
A real story out of Massachusetts.
Yes, according to police, 34-year-old Alexander Marano was enjoying a refreshing Sunday morning au naturel on the Ludlow Mills Riverwalk when he allegedly spotted a man walking his 8-year-old pit bull.
I'm not joking about this next part: Marano reportedly charged the pair, threatened the owner with a nonexistent shotgun, and proceeded to choke the dog.
When officers arrived and located the fully naked suspect, Marano helpfully surrendered with his hands up. No weapon was found, but they did recover his clothes, watch, and wallet nearby. Even in a suspected drug-fueled or mental health episode, a man needs his wallet!
Here's where it gets good.
When police asked why Marano was naked, he responded: 'Aren't we all naked at some point?' according to the report.
Yes, we are, Mr. Marano. Yes, we are.
Thankfully, neither the man nor his dog suffered serious injuries. Marano, who reportedly owns a home improvement business, was charged with disorderly conduct, threatening to use a deadly weapon, open and gross lewdness, animal cruelty, and indecent exposure.
(Excerpt) Read more at notthebee.com ...
Any man stupid enough to charge a pit bull naked deserves to have the dog clamp down on anything it can grab.
He’s lucky the Pit didn’t go for the sausage...
Thank You!
When I used to walk Penny, or when I’m riding Blue, I NEVER get threatened by nekkid men with imaginary shotguns!
Some pro-pit bull posters here are excited to point out that there was an old pit bull present, and it didn’t kill or maim anyone in this story.
My bet is he stripped before the police got there so he could claim insanity.
He owns a Home Improvement Business. Who would hire him to work on their home now, after seeing him streaking and freaking out? If he had kept his antics behind closed doors, at home in his living room, no one would have known how nutty he could be.
Why is this a surprise? June 21st is World Hike Naked Day. A mile or more counts. Choking the dog and the imaginary shotgun are a bit much.
Don’t look, Ethel !
it’s hard to believe this is not a Florida story.
Not a Florida Man. I’m surprised.
“it’s hard to believe this is not a Florida story”
Actually, it would be my guess that more than likely most Florida Man stories are dudes that interloped from other states......probably northern ones.
“I’m a Floridian”
Then why do you display the NC flag on your profile page?
If you’re originally from Carolina and you live here now, you’re not a Floridian.....not IMO anyway.
Are we sure he wasn’t a Mass state rep?
Home improvement business: He improves homes by leaving them
Having gotten mauled by a neighbor’s pit bull a few weeks ago with a lawsuit in progress, I totally support his action (based on headline only).
Had a roommate in the 80s that had one and it broke through my privacy fence and bit a guy on a bicycle.
All I could do to keep that guy from suing me.
I told the roommate that dog had to go so he moved out.....not long after, that dog bit one of his family members.
After that he put it down.
I don’t have much use for pitbulls.
Sorry for your troubles, hope you’re healing. 👍
I will always be a Floridian. I did not grow up in NC. Oh.....and I’m not in NC anymore either.
This vicious pit bull sunk it's teeth an inch into my calf with blood everywhere. All the owner could say was how it never did this before, was such a nice dog, and he'd keep it on a chain in the backyard. You'd think he'd be concerned about me more the beast and immediately say he'd get rid of it.
When I got the 5 stitches removed there was infection, but a different antibiotic, twice daily washings, and an antibiotic cream seem to be healing it up.
Gemini said this is a moderate injury with expected compensation of $20,000 to $75,000, but I'll see. A friend of a friend in another state just received $300,000 for being severely mauled by a pit bull 4 years ago.
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