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Posted on 05/06/2026 10:53:44 AM PDT by V_TWIN
SOUTH CARIBBEAN — A couple trapped on a hantavirus-infected cruise ship reportedly have declined to be rescued by a nearby Carnival cruise, saying they'd rather take their chances with hantavirus instead.
"We appreciate the offer, we really do," cruise passenger Arthur Pendleton shouted down to rescue workers through a megaphone while wearing a hazmat suit. "But we've weighed our options. On one hand, we have fever, severe muscle aches, potential respiratory failure, and death. On the other hand, we have the deafening DJ deck, a hundred guys on board named Chaz, and the inevitable all-out violent brawl ending in death. We're going to stick with the virus."
Coast Guard officials pleaded with the couple, arguing that the Carnival ship had fully functioning plumbing.
"Yeah, but that's only until someone clogs it with beer vomit," Arthur's wife Beatrice said, coughing weakly. "And then someone will take one of the pipes off and use it for a weapon. It's okay. Tell our kids we loved them, and please, don't let them book a Bahamas getaway."
With the virus on the rise, cruise ships around the globe are facing renewed scrutiny over hygiene practices and rodent infestations. Thus far, the rat boats are still ahead in market share over Carnival.
At publishing time, Carnival Cruises unveiled a new marketing campaign with the slogan "Carnival Cruise: no rats."
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Babylon Bee! Again?? How do they do it?
I was halfway thru the article before I felt the need to see the source. Caught again.
“We come on the sloop John B
My grandfather and me
Around Nassau town we did roam
Drinking all night
Got into a fight
Well, I feel so broke up
I want to go home”. Reads like a voyage on the sloop John B.
Is carnival that bad?
Hantavirus VS STDs
Mega Battle
I went on a yearly 3 or 4 day Carnival cruise from Miami to the Bahamas or Cozumel in the ‘00 - ‘10s. The experience mirrored flying - started out pretty nice then devolved into a greyhound bus ride-like experience. I assume it only got worse since the coofdemic. Do not recommend unless you are a boozer looking to hookup (collect STDs imho) or love to gamble. YMMV
I described my one experience on a cruise as “like being on a plane, only with better food and more drunks.” It was too cool to enjoy the pool, which left eating, drinking, gambling and a climbing wall as the only things to do. And I don’t drink or gamble, so I did the climbing wall to death. And put on weight.
Just go to YouTube and search “carnival cruise fight”....you’ll see
The cruse is out there.....
I want to believe, I really do..........
😁😂🤣😁😂🤣😁😂🤣
“Is carnival that bad?”
The first and only time we cruised on Carnival was in the ‘80s.
The “dining room” was picnic tables like at a Sunday School picnic.
We were traveling with a group from work, and my boss and his wife were in the next cabin. We spoke through the hole in the wall separating our bathrooms.
Teenagers totally trashed public area restrooms, smashing mirrors, etc.
I assumed it would’ve improved since then, but it seem that it hasn’t.
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