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After Failed Assassination, Democrats Observe Customary 5-Minute Pause On Calling Trump 'Hitler'
Babylonbee.com ^ | April 26, 2026

Posted on 04/27/2026 7:27:12 AM PDT by V_TWIN

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a the wake of yet another failed assassination attempt against President Trump, leading Democrats across the nation announced they would observe the long-standing tradition of a five-minute pause in calling Trump "literally Hitler".

"This is a time for healing, reflection, and lowering the temperature. Specifically, five minutes' time," said Representative Hakeem Jeffries. "Ugh, this five minutes is killing me. Has it really only been thirty seconds? Time passes so slowly when you're not calling someone Hitler."

The coordinated pause began immediately after politicians had finished copying and pasting their public statements from the last assassination attempt against Trump. "We condemn political violence of all types, et cetera. Now, someone tell us when we can start calling Trump 'Hitler' again," said Senator Chuck Schumer. "The shooter didn't actually get that close, so should be no more than five minutes. If Trump had actually been shot, maybe we could be talked into ten minutes. Maybe. It's a big ask."

At precisely the five-minute mark, normal operations resumed. "Phew. Well, with that behind us, I think can we now all agree that Trump is a dangerous fascist who should be stopped by any means necessary," said Jeffries. "To be clear, for legal reasons, I am not explicitly saying he should be assassinated. I'm just saying he's actually Adolf Hitler and someone should stop him."

At publishing time, a few moderate Democrats had proposed extending the pause in Hitler-calling to a full seven minutes to "restore decency to political discourse."


TOPICS: Chit/Chat
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; satire

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1 posted on 04/27/2026 7:27:12 AM PDT by V_TWIN
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To: V_TWIN

It is a good thing that Maxine Waters is unavailable. She would have violated the pause.


2 posted on 04/27/2026 7:57:19 AM PDT by Dr. Sivana ("Whatsoever he shall say to you, do ye." (John 2:5))
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To: V_TWIN

is this new? they never paused before


3 posted on 04/27/2026 7:57:20 AM PDT by faithhopecharity ("Politicians aren't born, they're excreted." Marcus Tullius Cicero (106 to 43 BCE))
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To: V_TWIN

A lot of unhappy Democrats around the country Saturday evening when they learned that the shooter had been stopped. People in Madison, Wisconsin, were especially saddened because they didn’t get their free beer.


4 posted on 04/27/2026 8:17:56 AM PDT by Verginius Rufus
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To: V_TWIN

Someone famous from another era said, “Will no one rid me of that troublesome priest?”


5 posted on 04/27/2026 10:07:42 AM PDT by Ciexyz (Prayers for America and Israel.)
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To: V_TWIN

Prayers for the safety of our nation’s leaders, of both parties.


6 posted on 04/27/2026 10:09:36 AM PDT by Ciexyz (Prayers for America and Israel.)
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To: V_TWIN

Supposed to be humorous, of course, but they did NOT let up in any of the past circumstances. And they did not let up this time.

There is one woman, a Dem in Congress, . Marie Gluesenkamp Perez said “Please stop trying to m*rder” President Trump.

This was astounding and shocking. She and Fetterman are the first exceptions since decades ago in that Dem Party.


7 posted on 04/27/2026 11:17:42 AM PDT by frank ballenger (There's a battle outside and it's raging. It'll soon shake your windows and rattle your walls. )
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To: frank ballenger

Freedom Toons nailed it, after the previous attempt.

“A Lemon Ate Donald Trump!”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7s1th5omaLg


8 posted on 04/27/2026 11:19:33 AM PDT by dfwgator ("I am Charlie Kirk!")
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To: frank ballenger

“Supposed to be humorous”

I think this one is more sarcasm and disgust than humor


9 posted on 04/27/2026 11:37:38 AM PDT by V_TWIN (America....so great even the people that hate it, won't leave)
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