Posted on 03/11/2026 9:10:57 AM PDT by V_TWIN
TEHRAN — Iranian government officials have reached out to the American Democratic Party for advice on how run a country with a dead leader.
After enduring mockery for presenting the public a cardboard cutout of the new Ayatollah, Iranian officials decided it was time to reach out for help on how to to go about running a nation lead by a stiff.
"We could really use some pointers," said Iranian official Yasser Khosravi. "We worked really hard on 'Cardboard Khamenei', cut out little shoes for him and everything. I thought stapling flowers to his forehead was really a nice touch. The response was such a letdown. It's time to call in the experts on corpse-governing."
Iranian officials reportedly called the Democratic Party's national headquarters directly to enquire for tips. "The Iranians were very flattering. They said there was literally no one on earth better at propping up a decaying sack of bones," said DNC official Mary Daniels. "We were happy to give them some pointers, it's a tough situation they're in. It's not as easy as it looks, keeping the government going when the crows keep circling overhead, trying to peck out the President's rotting eyes."
At publishing time, the Iranian government had reportedly announced the purchase of a new autopen.
The autopen is mightier than the sword.
(maybe we shouldn’t advertise that) /s
I can only imagine the shenanigans the deep state went through to get the glaring, self evident circumvention of authority evidence pushed under the rug.
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