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Posted on 12/11/2025 7:02:48 AM PST by Navy Patriot
U.S. — In a corroboration of what many had long suspected, a new report finally confirmed that the holiday of Kwanzaa had been revealed to be an elaborate prank on white people.
While experts had wondered for decades if the manufactured holiday was just a clever inside joke to mess with caucasians, it wasn't until a bombshell exposé revealed the complex ruse for what it was all along.
"Yeah, you got us," said black dude Achonte Ndukwe. "We all held a secret meeting back in the late '60s to figure out what we could do to mess with white people. It was decided that making up a holiday out of thin air was the best way to do it. That's how Kwanzaa was born. We honestly didn't think we'd keep the prank going this long, but everyone kept falling for it, so we just went with it. It's hilarious."
In addition to admitting that everything Kwanzaa involves — a special table, the lighting of candles, and a celebratory feast — was just random ideas added to the prank, Ndukwe confirmed that nobody even knew what the word "Kwanzaa" meant. "We thought it was made up," he said. "Somebody told us later that it's actually Swahili for something, but we had no idea. It was just a vaguely African-sounding word. It really had you guys going for a long time, didn't it?"
At publishing time, black people had also finally confirmed that they don't really like Tyler Perry movies either, but have just been pretending to enjoy them just to confuse the rest of the world.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
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I object to the racist nature of the article. Kwanza had an equal impact on all races. It was not directed at just one race.
How can this be? According to the Zeepers, Ucrane has killed everything pertaining to Russia including Russian Salad Dressing for the next million years.
Many black people would admit Kwanzaa is a prank
Chanukkah called.
It wants its candles back!"
I believe in Festivus MUCH MORE than “Kwanzaa” ...
Tyler Perry is a sanctimonious ass.
And "kwanzaa" IS a fake holiday.
I thought this was supposed to be satire ...
Incredible how shovels and washing machine chips can defeat the weapons made by the best and brightest people in the West.
I read about half. Yup, the Bee. But truly, I thought it was a useless effort at something. Who knows what, I don’t know, but useless.
Didn’t work on me... i thought it a complete joke when I first heard the word...
Right up there with names like Yolanda and Tyrone...
My best friend had to tell her kids that one year when one of them came home from grade school to inform her that Kwanzaa was just as important as Christmas. Shortly afterwards she took them out of public school and put them in Catholic school.
I have buddy - who happens to be black - who hates watermelon and never, ever eats at Red Lobster...
Festivus was actually real, created by editor and writer Daniel O'Keefe, who subjected his family to it. His oldest son Dan was a writer on the 'Seinfeld' television show and shared the tales of dysfunction which were then written, with a few modifications, into the episode "The Strike".
Created by beer distributors and then backed up by the alcohol distributors.
*Cinco de Mayo
Advertisers like to rub it in too.
I used to go to a church that's about 90% white, however about 30% of the people close to my age are black. Thus about 1/3rd of my inner circle of friends were black and our kids spent the night with each other, etc.
For over a decade now I've attended a church that's majority black (maybe 2/3rds). And some of us are close-knit, especially among the volunteers. Some of the stereotypes on race are very real. LOL And there's at least as many of the stereotypes that aren't real (at least what we see) regarding race. But there are probably more stereotypes based on other demographic differences like habits that are generational. I.e. when young men fuss about working out in the gym and having trouble finding a private place to change clothes in the locker room, us older men laugh at them and talk about changing clothes in front of each other without a second thought. LOL
BLack people don’t celebrate it. Only white libs who celebrate Muzzie holidays, Juneteenth, Gay Pride month and wear masks while yelling at LEO celebrate it.
Karenga
Kawenga
Kawanga
Kawanza
It didn’t work.
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