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Super Bowl Halftime Show To Feature MS-13 Backup Dancers
babylonbee.com ^ | Sep 30, 2025

Posted on 10/01/2025 6:36:42 AM PDT by V_TWIN

NEW YORK, NY — In addition to announcing that music star Bad Bunny would be performing, the National Football League issued a follow-up statement revealing that the Super Bowl halftime show would also feature authentic MS-13 backup dancers.

Though critics blasted the NFL's decision to give the coveted halftime performance slot to an outspoken left-wing artist, the league doubled down by enlisting the help of actual Venezuelan gangbangers to participate in the show.

"It's important for us to make it as diverse and inclusive as possible," said NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell. "If we're going to put the spotlight on an admitted supporter of illegal aliens, why not go the extra mile and ask some truly dangerous and violent migrant gang members to put on a little show for us? We'll make sure it's safe for our fans. Or as safe as it can be to have a group of criminals roaming around freely."

One MS-13 member was excited for the opportunity. "Órale, vato, it's a great honor," said Enrique Velasquez, who proudly claims to have murdered 17 people. "We get to share the Super Bowl stage with one of our biggest supporters in Bad Bunny, plus I hear the Super Bowl is a great place for industrious human traffickers like myself. It should be a great weekend for business, know what I'm sayin'? Thanks a lot, NFL. I really feel… what is it, included? Yeah, included."

At publishing time, the NFL said that it hoped to make it through the Super Bowl with as few crimes committed by its halftime act as possible.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat
KEYWORDS: babylonbee

1 posted on 10/01/2025 6:36:42 AM PDT by V_TWIN
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To: V_TWIN

If this bowl is so “super” why can’t they afford a good bunny?


2 posted on 10/01/2025 6:40:09 AM PDT by AndyTheBear (Certified smarter than average for my species)
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To: V_TWIN

Gotta love The Bee!

The NFL really screwed the pooch with this choice.


3 posted on 10/01/2025 6:40:51 AM PDT by Dr. Franklin ("A republic, if you can keep it." )
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To: V_TWIN

Make the program “as diverse and inclusive as possible”?

Why was equity left out?

NFL is slipping badly. They cannot even screw up right.


4 posted on 10/01/2025 6:40:54 AM PDT by alloysteel (You gotta accentuate the positive, Eliminate the negative, Latch onto the affirmative....)
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To: alloysteel

It’s satire my friend.....you know....haha?


5 posted on 10/01/2025 6:47:34 AM PDT by V_TWIN (RIP Charlie Kirk)
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To: alloysteel

Make the program “as diverse and inclusive as possible”?

.....by excluding the people who actually watch the game.


6 posted on 10/01/2025 6:47:38 AM PDT by shelterguy
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To: V_TWIN

If it were not true it could be funny. But it is. So it isnt


7 posted on 10/01/2025 6:49:39 AM PDT by stanne (Because they were mesmerized by Obama, the man for whom this was named, whose name they left out of )
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To: V_TWIN

NFL is bowing down to the radical, America-hating left. I will NOT watch the super bowl unless they do a tribute to Iryna Zarutska, murdered by a savage, racist bastard, with black leaders begging forgiveness from White Ukrainians.


8 posted on 10/01/2025 7:02:35 AM PDT by I want the USA back (America is once again GREAT! Blue Lives Matter! White lives matter. )
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To: V_TWIN
It always takes me a while to realize it's the Bee.
9 posted on 10/01/2025 7:07:26 AM PDT by Savage Beast ("Break free from the temptations and shackles of this world." Erika Kirk, September 21, 2025)
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To: V_TWIN

Last year the Super Bowl was all black revolutionary BS. This year, it’ll be the poor Latinx community being victimized by the big bad Trump and his army of Not-Sees.

The commies have effectively taken hold of a great American cultural institution and destroyed it.


10 posted on 10/01/2025 7:37:30 AM PDT by lado
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To: V_TWIN

“The Maryland Men”


11 posted on 10/01/2025 9:15:45 AM PDT by citizen (A transgender male competing against women may be male, but he's no man.)
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To: I want the USA back

I stopped the NFL 3rd qtr, 4th game 2017.


12 posted on 10/01/2025 9:18:03 AM PDT by citizen (A transgender male competing against women may be male, but he's no man.)
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