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The Worst Opening Lines to Use on Dating Apps—And What to Say Instead
DNYUZ ^
| August 11, 2025
| Staff
Posted on 08/11/2025 1:10:16 PM PDT by Red Badger
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To: Zathras
61
posted on
08/11/2025 3:02:36 PM PDT
by
Magnum44
(...against all enemies, foreign and domestic... )
To: metmom
62
posted on
08/11/2025 3:06:06 PM PDT
by
sonova
(No money? You're free to go.)
To: Red Badger
My hate is red
Your hair is blue
GTFA
63
posted on
08/11/2025 3:10:44 PM PDT
by
Organic Panic
('Was I molested. I think so' - Ashley Biden in response to her father joining her in the shower. )
To: Red Badger
My hat is red
Your hair is blue
GTFA
EDIT. HAT. Not hate
64
posted on
08/11/2025 3:10:59 PM PDT
by
Organic Panic
('Was I molested. I think so' - Ashley Biden in response to her father joining her in the shower. )
To: packrat35
Hi, I’m Bob! How do you like me so far?
To: samiam5
Oh, yeah, these are so romantic!
66
posted on
08/11/2025 3:32:04 PM PDT
by
FamiliarFace
(I got my own way of livin' But everything gets done With a southern accent Where I come from. TPetty)
To: Organic Panic
This thread reminds me of the old story about a guy who gets shot down at a dance.
He gathers up his courage and finally politely asks the girl, “Would you dance this dance with me?”
She takes a looks him up and down, then says, “With you? NO!”
He replies, “So I guess a blow job is out of the question?”
67
posted on
08/11/2025 3:33:04 PM PDT
by
John Milner
(Marching for Peace is like breathing for food.)
To: Red Badger
So as the bride and groom were leaving after the wedding ceremony, the new bride turns to her new husband and says “I didn’t like the way you said ‘I do’”
68
posted on
08/11/2025 3:46:42 PM PDT
by
SkyDancer
( ~ Am Yisrael Chai ~)
To: FamiliarFace
Absolutely NOT.
I use spell check but it wasn’t spelled wrong so I didn’t catch it.
That’s embarrassing aside from the implications but also because I am quite the stickler for homonyms.
69
posted on
08/11/2025 3:55:38 PM PDT
by
metmom
(He who testifies to these things says, “Surely I am coming soon." Amen. Come, Lord Jesus….)
To: Disambiguator
No. Completely unintentional.
70
posted on
08/11/2025 3:56:22 PM PDT
by
metmom
(He who testifies to these things says, “Surely I am coming soon." Amen. Come, Lord Jesus….)
To: FamiliarFace
Funny, I only got about half way through the article and couldn’t take any more, felt like I needed a shower.
Then the freepers came along and started cracking me up!
71
posted on
08/11/2025 3:56:40 PM PDT
by
samiam5
To: metmom
I thought it was an error! Didn’t seem like you.
72
posted on
08/11/2025 3:57:56 PM PDT
by
FamiliarFace
(I got my own way of livin' But everything gets done With a southern accent Where I come from. TPetty)
To: samiam5
Go ahead and take your shower. I doubt there will be a female with you. Unless you’re paying her.
73
posted on
08/11/2025 4:01:13 PM PDT
by
FamiliarFace
(I got my own way of livin' But everything gets done With a southern accent Where I come from. TPetty)
To: packrat35
2 and 3 are great openers. I bet you get a lot of women with those lines.
74
posted on
08/11/2025 4:03:35 PM PDT
by
FamiliarFace
(I got my own way of livin' But everything gets done With a southern accent Where I come from. TPetty)
To: FamiliarFace
I should copy it and repost it with the correction and have the mod delete the original.
75
posted on
08/11/2025 4:05:47 PM PDT
by
metmom
(He who testifies to these things says, “Surely I am coming soon." Amen. Come, Lord Jesus….)
To: Red Badger
76
posted on
08/11/2025 4:06:20 PM PDT
by
Fresh Wind
(Kamala defines herself in just 4 words..."Nothing comes to mind.")
To: metmom
Well, you provided a humor break for everyone.
😁
To: Red Badger
Hey baby. Can I cough into your elbow?
(A Covid era pick up line)
To: FamiliarFace
Now I’m starting to understand the comments.
79
posted on
08/11/2025 4:10:10 PM PDT
by
samiam5
To: FamiliarFace; metmom
Here's what was intended to be posted....
(And I re-read the post to make sure there were no other unintentional innuendos.)
People, or at least women, don’t want to be used.
Comments about physical appearance lend themselves to conclude they’re looking for hook ups, not a relationship.
That said, I can’t imagine dating apps are the best way to meet someone worth it.
80
posted on
08/11/2025 4:11:22 PM PDT
by
metmom
(He who testifies to these things says, “Surely I am coming soon." Amen. Come, Lord Jesus….)
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