Posted on 08/11/2025 9:44:46 AM PDT by Red Badger
A Florida man has been arrested for stealing two Smokey the Bear signs from state forests and selling them for $1,900 each on Facebook Marketplace. Reacting to the arrest, Florida Agriculture Commissioner Wilton Simpson thanked Smokey the Bear for assisting law enforcement in apprehending the as-yet-unnamed suspect.
For context, Simpson criticized the crime and warned potential thieves against targeting state forests, noting the state’s vigorous law enforcement. Florida has invested over $93 million in equipment to preserve its forests and treats them as a high priority.
In any case, Simpson began his hilarious announcement with a rhetorical question, asking, “What happens when dumb criminals poke the bear?” Continuing his announcement, the official said, “Our Ag Law Team has a suspect in custody who traveled from Pensacola to Orlando stealing Smoky Bear signs from our state forests and selling them on Facebook Marketplace for $1,900 each. Big thank you to Smokey the Bear for personally assisting in the arrest.”
Simpson thanked Smokey the Bear for his help in apprehending this thief, saying, “Smokey is always around our forest and just got lucky today that he saw the bad guy and got him handcuffed. What an idiot, what an idiot.”
Describing the cultural impact of Smokey the Bear, Florida Agriculture Commissioner added to his comments. He said, “[Smokey] goes to schools, he’s known by our children, he’s known by our families, he is known throughout the United States. Who goes and steals an image of Smokey the Bear and then tries to profit off of that?”
Winding down his humorous remarks, Wilton Simpson. Berated the criminal. He stated, “If you’re going to go in and commit crimes in our forests, you probably need to find a different place. Not only will you find smoke in some of those forests, but you’ll find our car officers. We’re the most pro-law enforcement state in the union. Smokey Bear is on the job, also.”
As we reported, Florida law enforcement continually makes hilarious announcements to shame criminals, such as when the Polk County Sheriff’s Office showed off a mugshot of a suspected Tren de Aragua weeping uncontrollably in a mugshot.
In a video which went massively viral, Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd announced, “So I want to share something with you, Ramon Luna. You see, they’re some of them are smiling here, but I want to focus on the picture of Ramon Luna. You see, it’s not such a happy time in life as he knew it was over.”
See the hilarious image here:
The Florida State Agriculture Law team had “Smokey the Bear” assist in the arrest of a Florida man who was caught stealing “Smokey the Bear” signs from state forests between Pensacola and Orlando.😂🤣😂🤣https://t.co/u3tNb77FyS pic.twitter.com/aoeLScsFu8— MAGABrittany (@paintsaints) July 30, 2025
Making fun of the callous criminal who melted in the face of real consequences, he continued, “Is he crying because he can’t steal from Americans anymore? Is he crying because he can’t rob people in the middle of the night anymore? Is he crying because he can’t rip off high-end liquor? This is the end of the road for him and his companions. I hope he has his traveling clothes on, because we want to charge them with racketeering and send them to state prison for a very long time, and then deport them.”
Featured image from embedded tweet
Chorus:
Smokey the Bear, Smokey the Bear.
Prowlin’ and a growlin’ and a sniffin’ the air.
He can find a fire before it starts to flame.
That’s why they call him Smokey,
That was how he got his name.
Crow T. Robot
Smokey and his wife never had cubs because he beat her with a shovel when she got hot. No lie man.
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