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Men, Where Have You Gone? Please Come Back. {Women wondering about the lack of real men}
New York times ^ | 20yh June 2025 | Rachel Drucker

Posted on 06/22/2025 2:02:49 AM PDT by Cronos

We have moved into an era where many men no longer seek women to impress other men or to connect across difference. They perform elsewhere. Alone. They’ve filtered us out.

I recently experienced a flicker of possibility. With James. We met on Raya, the dating app. There was something mutual from the start — wordplay, emotional precision, a tone that felt attuned. It was brief, but it caught light. I remember saying to him, “Even fleeting connections matter, when they’re mutual and lit from the inside.” I meant it.

There was just enough spark to wonder what might unfold. Enough curiosity to imagine a doorway. But he didn’t step through it. Not with a plan. Not with presence. He hovered — flirting, retreating, offering warmth but no direction.

Sexual tension and a spark aren’t reason enough to sit still and hope there’s substance behind the shimmer. So I named what I felt. I texted him clearly, with care, not simply to declare attraction but to extend a real invitation to explore what was possible. I didn’t chase. I invited, leaving the door open. If he ever wanted to cross the threshold — not just to take, but to meet — I was willing. I wanted. I still do.

He never replied. He still follows my Instagram stories — one of those small gestures of passive engagement that so many of us now mistake for closeness. It looks like interest. It feels like silence.

There are thousands of Jameses. I have known dozens. The arc varies, but the undertow is familiar.

...here’s what’s real: We never needed you to be perfect. We needed you to be with us. Not above. Not muted. Not masked. Just with.

(Excerpt) Read more at nytimes.com ...


TOPICS: Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: dating; manosphere; men; mgtow; pua; redpill; triggerwarning; women
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To: TheWriterTX
They did not expect me to marry Tony, the tattooed mechanic.

Hum a few bars, and I'll wing it!

Regards,

281 posted on 06/23/2025 11:48:49 PM PDT by alexander_busek (Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.)
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To: T.B. Yoits
She knows full well that there are so few men who are 6 feet tall, earn 6 figures, and have 6-pack abs and none that would want her.

You overestimate the math skills of modern women; they are largely innumerate.

Women have little to no concept of large numbers (or, conversely, small numbers). They don't realize that 2% (height) of 2% (wealth) is four out of ten thousand.

But their "list" also contains further criteria, like "not gay," "not already married," "liberal," or "must wholeheartedly accept my two bastard children and be willing to deal with my ex-con baby-daddy," thus further narrowing the playing field.

Regards,

282 posted on 06/23/2025 11:59:09 PM PDT by alexander_busek (Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.)
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To: T.B. Yoits; Enterprise
If she wants to meet a man, she can find them at football games, baseball games, NASCAR events, rodeos, Civil War Enactments, and MMA events Objectivist conferences, chess tournaments, anti-Covid policy demonstrations...

No, of course: They're all good possibilities.

Regards,

283 posted on 06/24/2025 12:05:16 AM PDT by alexander_busek (Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.)
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To: FormerFRLurker
And yet there has been a 4400% increase in teen girls trying to transition to male compared to a 1000% increase in teen boys trying to become girls.

The figures you cite are based on mere referrals received by the U.K.'s "Gender Identity Development Service" (GIDS) between 2009 and 2019. These are not individuals who necessarily underwent medical transition - rather, they were merely making inquiries / requesting consulting. And the absolute numbers involved here? The number of referrals for girls rose from 40 (in 2009) to over 1,700 (in 2019) - the 4,400% increase you reference.

While the number of referrals for boys rose from 40 to over 400 (the 1,000% increase you cite).

Those are, however, rather low absolute numbers.

I'd like to see comparable numbers for the U.S. And I'd like to see absolute numbers for the actual medical transitions.

Also: I don't think that disparate numbers for boys/girls necessarily invalidate the conservative perception that there is a "war on masculinity": Girls wishing to transition are viewed as victims of sexual abuse (by men) who are attempting to escape their "vulnerability" (i.e., femininity), while boys wishing to transition are viewed as having "wised up," accepted that being male is evil, and are hence trying to shed their male identity.

Regards,

284 posted on 06/24/2025 12:31:13 AM PDT by alexander_busek (Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.)
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To: FormerFRLurker
More childless men than childless women say admit they want to have children.

Sour grapes!

It would be devastating for a mid-30s woman to confess that she wants children, even though she has squandered her peak fertility years (18-31) in favor of casual relationships and/or career success (those technical reports ain't gonna file themselves, after all - and when she's lying on her death bed, at 99, the fact that she was once the junior vice-president of accounts for electronic widgets or plastic doohickies for her company before it was sold to the Chinese will give her solace). So, of course, they feign indifference to the matter.

Regards,

285 posted on 06/24/2025 12:39:08 AM PDT by alexander_busek (Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.)
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To: FormerFRLurker
As if the wrong man has never been able to destroy a woman's life (or end it) on a whim.

The majority of divorce-filers are women.

The overwhelming majority of men are not life-enders.

There are literally tens of millions of men who have been taken to the cleaners in the divorce courts by women.

There were roughly 20,000 murders in the U.S. last year. And 72% of the victims were male.

The probability of a man undergoing "divorce-rape" by a woman is thus far, far greater than the probability of a woman being murdered by a man.

Regards,

286 posted on 06/24/2025 12:45:31 AM PDT by alexander_busek (Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.)
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To: TwelveOfTwenty
In fact, in the late 70s, a man challenged state laws that only granted alimony to women in the Supreme Court on the grounds that they violate the Equal Protection Act, and won.

I think that you mean: Equal Protection Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment.

Regards,

287 posted on 06/24/2025 12:50:45 AM PDT by alexander_busek (Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.)
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To: FLT-bird
I don't support abortion. Regardless, if a baby is born, that baby comes first. Not the mother, and not the father. By sticking it into her, the father made his choice, regardless of any delusions he has that the woman is somehow obligated to offer herself as a receptacle to him.

But let's just say that I agreed with you (I don't). It's that very delusion of sexual freedom that is preventing men from making a stand for their rights. Let's see if any of you can understand that.

288 posted on 06/24/2025 3:45:02 AM PDT by TwelveOfTwenty (Prayers for the US and President Trump)
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To: Ikeon

I’m not the one luring sailors to their “death”. I’m the one warning them about falling for it.


289 posted on 06/24/2025 3:46:32 AM PDT by TwelveOfTwenty (Prayers for the US and President Trump)
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To: TwelveOfTwenty
By sticking it into her, the father made his choice

Some variation of this is ALWAYS the response I get from feminists. Yet they get highly pissed and will totally reject me responding "OK. Then when she let a man stick it into her, she made her choice." See? To them women get a choice but men get no choice. They're absolutely not for equality. They want superior rights for women.

290 posted on 06/24/2025 3:55:26 AM PDT by FLT-bird
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To: alexander_busek
Sour grapes! It would be devastating for a mid-30s woman to confess that she wants children, even though she has squandered her peak fertility years (18-31) in favor of casual relationships and/or career success (those technical reports ain't gonna file themselves, after all - and when she's lying on her death bed, at 99, the fact that she was once the junior vice-president of accounts for electronic widgets or plastic doohickies for her company before it was sold to the Chinese will give her solace). So, of course, they feign indifference to the matter.

What is the single most unhappy demographic in America? Single professional women in their 40s.

291 posted on 06/24/2025 3:57:35 AM PDT by FLT-bird
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To: alexander_busek

Bill Belichek is a famous multi super bowl winning multi year NFL head coach and current coach of a major college football team. According to most estimates, his net worth is about $80 million. His current girlfriend is about 50 years younger than he is.


292 posted on 06/24/2025 4:02:07 AM PDT by FLT-bird
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To: alexander_busek

I do not know the family, so I couldn’t say where dad was. I didn’t say anything to them other than what was posted. I suppose he could have been working.


293 posted on 06/24/2025 5:25:29 AM PDT by Kudsman (I am Coal baby! Burning for you. )
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To: alexander_busek
"poor counts?"

Phone fat-finger, and small screen.

294 posted on 06/24/2025 8:08:58 AM PDT by voicereason (When a bartender can join Congress and become a millionaire...there’s a problem.)
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To: alexander_busek

So what you’re saying is that a large number women lie on anonymous surveys? Check your own tagline.


295 posted on 06/24/2025 9:16:08 AM PDT by FormerFRLurker ("Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities"-Voltaire)
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To: alexander_busek

There are literally tens of millions of men who have been taken to the cleaners in the divorce courts by women.

How many of those men blew up their own marriages through adultery, domestic violence, etc.? There's a reason Ashley Madison created female chatbots; there weren't enough married women signing up relative to the number of men. It's important to separate the men who truly are innocent victims from the men who brought it upon themselves through their own poor choices.

296 posted on 06/24/2025 9:22:19 AM PDT by FormerFRLurker ("Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities"-Voltaire)
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To: FLT-bird

Sure, there are 30-something women who still want kids, but statistics say it’s declining and more common among childless men.


297 posted on 06/24/2025 9:24:49 AM PDT by FormerFRLurker ("Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities"-Voltaire)
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To: FLT-bird

They're just explaining the male perspective.

And I was just explaining the female perspective, as it seemed to be lacking on this thread. TalBlack seemed oblivious to the fact that women have had to worry about their lives being destroyed by the wrong partner since forever yet somehow, despite being "the weaker sex", still found the courage to put themselves out there. If they hadn't, we wouldn't be here having this conversation.

298 posted on 06/24/2025 9:28:56 AM PDT by FormerFRLurker ("Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities"-Voltaire)
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To: FLT-bird

You may set an age range topping out at 40 but I notice rich older men always seem able to get attractive younger women. This is true around the world and has been true throughout history. It may not be to your taste but obviously there are plenty of other women to whom their partner's age is not a huge turnoff.

Oh, I don't doubt there will always be older man/younger woman couples. I just question if the younger woman is genuinely attracted to him against her biological imperative to conceive the healthiest children possible or if she's just using him for his money. I think both sexes attract what they put out. If a woman offers only sex then she really shouldn't be surprised when the only kind of man interested in her is the "Wham, Bam, Thank You Ma'am" type. Similarly, if all a man brings to the table is his income, without looks or personality, gold-diggers will be all he'll attract.

299 posted on 06/24/2025 9:34:39 AM PDT by FormerFRLurker ("Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities"-Voltaire)
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To: FormerFRLurker
A bit off topic, but I regularly receive texts on Telegram from very pretty young women. I know the scam, so I don’t respond with any personal information. I’m 71, and happily married, too.

I keep Telegram open, as there are a number of friends and former coworkers that stay in touch.

300 posted on 06/24/2025 9:41:12 AM PDT by Night Hides Not (Remember the Alamo! Remember Goliad! Remember Gonzales! Come and Take It!)
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