Posted on 02/27/2025 4:31:38 PM PST by xp38
FORT MEADE, MD — A group of federal employees expressed feelings of shock and outrage over blatant violations of their privacy, as NSA agents were horrified to learn that people had spied on their personal conversations.
Members of the National Security Agency said they were appalled to learn that their private conversations with each other had been subject to review without their knowledge, leaving them dismayed that their rights to privacy had been infringed.
"This is a blatant violation of our privacy," said NSA agent Stefanie Gilbert. "We had those conversations with each other under the assumption that we could speak confidentially and not worry about anyone spying on us. It's really uncomfortable to know that there are people out there looking into our private messages to each other. It just feels… wrong."
An investigation revealed chat room messages from NSA employees covering a wide range of controversial and explicit topics. The messages were made public upon their discovery, setting off a public relations firestorm and leaving the employees alleging a betrayal of trust.
"It's awful feeling like everything you do or say will be watched or listened to," said NSA agent Brian Dean. "Nobody should have to worry about having their private messages read by someone they didn't intend to have access to them. That's not privacy. That's not American."
At publishing time, NSA agents were also in an uproar over rumors that their online browsing histories had been tracked and stored in offshore data centers for scrutiny by unauthorized parties.
Excellent.
The Bee almost stung me. LOL
Sometimes their parody is too real.
Oh my God
So good.
All places I have worked, since about 1990, were monitoring computer traffic.
Several people were fired, because they accessed on-line pornography!
Justification was always - these are company computers, you leave your privacy at the door!
Sure makes sense to me. I do think that signing a document listing conditions of employment, other than dismissal for felony or misdemeanor conviction, should be part of accepting the offer
Those NSA computers were intended for approved American’s only, and were our computers via NSA secured and only for appropriate useage.
our Cyber criminals/traitors left your privacy at the NSA entry doors!
Perfect.
This time the Babylon Bee got in the article before the NSA employees had time to make it to court!
Halfway through, I thought this might be the Bee. It’s so scary that the Bee can be so close to truth and yet be satire.
The Bee needs to work on better proper names.
Stephanie Gilbert and Brian Dean are to vanilla for a chat group favoring unnatural acts.
I felt like I was going to get fired for listening to Rush Limbaugh on stream from my work computer...
So....some names less common like, maybe, Biblebelter? ;)
How about Mai Cockburns.
They needed to put in Harold Stimson’s line “Gentlemen do not read each other’s mail.”
Stimson tried to shut down one of NSA’s predecessor agencies — affectionately known as the “Black Chamber” as I recall.
Don't worry, it's all just a symptom of being human. How about you?
The irony is strong in this one. :)
Now that’s really rich coming from the NSA.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.