Posted on 01/25/2025 6:58:44 AM PST by Navy Patriot
U.S. — The Babylon Bee would like to publicly thank President Donald Trump for making good on his promise to get rid of all those DEI rules, allowing us to take immediate action and fire our only female writer.
We were sick of her not being funny but needed a good reason to get rid of her without having all those DEI employment people breathing down our necks. The office is going to go back to what it was intended to be in the first place: a gentleman's club full of fine cigars, strong beer, darts, a billiards table, and maybe we'll even get one of those armchairs that recline fully and has drink holders on both sides.
We were forced to hire a girl writer after the Biden administration mandated all places of businesses have at least one woman on staff. She wasn't even that funny; here are a few of her more recent headline pitches:
"Men Are Always Leaving The Toilet Seat Up" (that was the whole joke)
"Trump Gifts Melania That New Set Of Throw Pillows She's Been Eyeing For Mother's Day (Hint Hint Sweetie)"
"Wife Asks Sensible, Relevant, Not-At-All-Stupid Question During Movie"...
We're excited to go back to having only men on staff and have set up a rotating schedule for who has to take out the garbage, clean the bathrooms, and bring in freshly baked cookies every day as that was sort of the stuff the girl did when she was here. Meetings will now take 70% less time, we can turn the A/C up to normal temperatures, and we will be converting the women's restroom into a game room.
God bless you, President Trump. Kids President Book
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
Ping!
The BB should be hired by the WH press office to respond to most items - start with The Turtle. Don’t get mad, ridicule them. Totally destroys them.
Thank you that was great.
Hard to believe PC U-tube hasn’t canceled that.
Yes Ma'am, humor and Men who can poke fun at themselves are back.
The Bee has a habit of that.
No reason to blush, we both had a good idea :)
This is only at The Bee so MSM headlines will still be fair game.
Excellent post, and he nails it. And you are correct, for some reason we are supposed to acquiesce to everyone else wishes.
Next time I need that, I’ve got yours on deck. :^)
It really was good. I only discovered Chappelle a couple years ago and it was refreshing to see this about the man behind his bits.
It might just be Dave Chappelle night tonight ;-)
My mom was a nurse and is 92.
She said when she cared for merchant seamen that they were the most respectful, non complaining bunch she ever treated.
Some had horrible cancers and didn’t complain, she said.
They were embarassed to take help sometimes.
Nobody cares about tattoos if they are good men.
Maybe you knew only very sensitive women.
🤣🤣🤣
I am thinking of the girls today, who pretend to be adults.
Future Bee headline:
Bee moves to Canada to send 25% funnier satire
20 years in the Navy. I know EXACTLY that which you speak of!!!!
Your mother does sound like she was tough. I can imagine her demanding the story and then both having a good laugh.
He was so good!!
In the 2nd paragraph - “a gentlemen’s club”? Let’s not use euphemisms here - a strip club is what The Bee meant. And that club would have a number of young, limber, energetic, attractive women - who need to supplement their income.
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