Posted on 11/23/2024 11:07:18 AM PST by Navy Patriot
EL PASO, TX — Americans were assured that the solution to the migrant crisis along the southern U.S. border was close at hand, as soon-to-be Border Czar Tom Homan revealed plans to introduce a family-size trebuchet to speed up the deportation process.
With the plan calling to use the new device to replace the existing single-person trebuchet, Holman said the family-size trebuchet will allow government officials to fling a significantly greater number of human beings back across the border at a time.
"When we talk about throwing them out, we mean throwing them out," Holman told reporters at a press conference announcing the plan. "The Border Patrol has been messing around with these Mickey Mouse single-person trebuchets for long enough. We've got a big problem that requires a big solution, and that solution is a big trebuchet."
Early tests of the device yielded promising results, as a family of four from Honduras was deported via trebuchet and landed several hundred yards into Mexico. "As you can see, this will improve our deportation efforts exponentially," Holman said. "I have one message to people who are in this country illegally: pack your bags. Actually, I have a second message: wear clothing with a decent amount of cushion. Because that trebuchet will really chuck you out there."
At publishing time, the Mexican government announced plans of its own to construct giant piles of tortillas along the border to serve as soft landing spots for incoming families of illegal immigrants arriving via trebuchet.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
Good idea, make ‘em think they’re having a good time!
Who said anything about parachutes?
Chute-deployed cargo containers at 15,000 ft.
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Chutes are too expensive. Also a cost cutting measure.
The C-130 pilot can initiate a modest climb, door open, and the container will just roll out of the bay, no parachute needed.
Even better!
The launch isn’t a problem but la ending could be.
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No worries, he’s working a giant catcher’s mitt for that.
For humane reasons, I would prefer a long slip and slide that projected over the border. Signs promising free tequila and willing senoritas at the end of the ride might help induce self-deportation. Hell, that might even draw me along.
Pull!
Make them pack their own chutes too!
Flour or Corn ?
Beat me to it.
This shouldn’t be on The Bee, because it sounds completely practical & efficient besides getting the point across. If the parachute is attached correctly, it will tend to keep everyone up in a landing position. After it hits ground you are on your own anyway. How many of these could you pack & drop from a C-130 at one time?
This shouldn’t be on The Bee, because it sounds completely practical & efficient besides getting the point across. If the parachute is attached correctly, it will tend to keep everyone up in a landing position. After it hits ground you are on your own anyway. How many of these could you pack & drop from a C-130 at one time?
The Government mandated Corn Ethanol for gasoline was a Globalist Oligarch plan to get rich while starving poor Latinos to death by raising the price of their diet staple, Corn.
It worked while increasing pollution, a Globalist depopulation twofer.
LOL !!!
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