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Fattest, Sickest Country On Earth Concerned New Health Secretary Might Do Something Different
The Bee ^ | November 16, 2024 | Staff

Posted on 11/17/2024 8:42:52 AM PST by Navy Patriot

U.S. — Citizens in the most obese, unhealthy country on the face of the planet have expressed concern that new Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. might try to do a few things differently.

With seventy-five percent of the adult population now overweight or obese, government officials expressed deep reservations about doing anything differently whatsoever. Thousands of employees within Health and Human Services have even threatened to quit if the new Secretary tries to get the country to change direction in some way.

"RFK Jr. is a nut and his ideas are crazy," said FDA employee Sharon Wilmington, as she slapped a "Heart Healthy" sticker on a box of Froot Loops. "We obviously have this thing under control."

According to sources, Kennedy Jr. has proposed extreme, outlandish reforms such as reducing processed sugars in kids' foods and occasionally exercising. "It's very extreme," said current HHS Secretary Xavier Becerra. "The man has obviously gone off the deep end. We must protect the beautiful, rotund children of today from this psychopath."

At publishing time, climate experts had begun to consider that the sea levels were rising because so many fat Americans were making the land sink.

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Education; History
KEYWORDS: babylonbee
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Darn, The Bee is back to Hard News.
1 posted on 11/17/2024 8:42:52 AM PST by Navy Patriot
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To: Navy Patriot
Fattest, Sickest Country On Earth Concerned New Health Secretary Might Do Something Different

Big Pharma has conditioned the sheeple to resist fewer pills.

2 posted on 11/17/2024 8:48:32 AM PST by The Sons of Liberty (GOD Bless America and President Trump!)
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To: Navy Patriot

Yeah, they got me with this article. I thought it was real.


3 posted on 11/17/2024 8:56:08 AM PST by sauropod ("This is a time when people reveal themselves for who they are." James O'Keefe Ne supra crepidam)
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To: Navy Patriot

I hope RFK jr. can save us from tipping over the continent because all the fatties.


4 posted on 11/17/2024 8:59:14 AM PST by right way right (“May we remain sober over mere men, for God really is our only true hope”)
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To: sauropod
The sad thing is, although the various quotes and whatnot might be made up, in essence it is real.
5 posted on 11/17/2024 9:00:31 AM PST by EnderWiggin1970
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To: Navy Patriot
At publishing time, climate experts had begun to consider that the sea levels were rising because so many fat Americans were making the land sink.

Makes as much sense as any other explanation for alleged rising sea levels as I've heard.

6 posted on 11/17/2024 9:09:24 AM PST by metmom (He who testifies to these things says, “Surely I am coming soon.” Amen. Come, Lord Jesus”)
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To: sauropod
Yeah, they got me with this article. I thought it was real.

Ironically, I think it is.

7 posted on 11/17/2024 9:10:07 AM PST by metmom (He who testifies to these things says, “Surely I am coming soon.” Amen. Come, Lord Jesus”)
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To: sauropod

And the leftists are going to have an awfully hard time criticizing the changes RFK Jr is advocating for.

And if they do, the perfect response is to ask *What? You object to eating better and becoming healthier?*


8 posted on 11/17/2024 9:11:26 AM PST by metmom (He who testifies to these things says, “Surely I am coming soon.” Amen. Come, Lord Jesus”)
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To: Navy Patriot

The Last Health Secretary is mentally ill, pumped full of synthetic estrogen and other drugs to make believe he is a woman. I mean, how low can you go? Let the employees threaten to quit. They can go to work for the unemployed crossdresser.


9 posted on 11/17/2024 9:12:32 AM PST by realcleanguy (quickly things are falling apart, now that the )
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To: Navy Patriot

I think obesity has gone up in my lifetime, maybe even in the last ten years.

I suppose activity and diet are the main culprits.

My grandparents had a ranch, which was operated by my three uncles. One had been in the marines and still did one-armed push-ups in the morning. One was fit but had a phobia about work. We won’t go there. The third had a childhood illness that left him with a shrunken lung. He’s the kind of guy that people call “wiry,” small but surprisingly strong.

I remember a live-in ranch hand. He was slim. After eating a stack of pancakes that was at least 6” high, he was offered a second stack, which he gladly accepted.

Back then hay bales were small enough that you could throw them. Throwing hay bales, the sweat just rolls off.


10 posted on 11/17/2024 9:17:54 AM PST by ChessExpert (The Democratic party must be destroyed.)
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To: ChessExpert

Having grown up on a ranch, I bucked a lot of hay.


11 posted on 11/17/2024 9:22:42 AM PST by laplata (They want each crisis to take the greatest toll possible.)
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To: ChessExpert

this is explained in detail in a book “The Obesity Code”


12 posted on 11/17/2024 9:24:03 AM PST by bankwalker (Repeal the 19th ...)
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To: ChessExpert

“I suppose activity and diet are the main culprits.”

I suspect pills are culprits too.

As for soda, the carbonation may be far worse than the sugar as carbonation breaks down food fast.


13 posted on 11/17/2024 9:28:11 AM PST by Brian Griffin
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To: ChessExpert
Throwing hay bales, the sweat just rolls off.

My FIL hurt himself years ago handling hay bales. He told the doctor, “That’s what I get for doing women’s work!”

14 posted on 11/17/2024 9:32:53 AM PST by William Tell
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To: bankwalker

Thanks, I’ll look into it.

I forgot to mention the occasional venison steak. Fresh, as in shot that day.

Although this was from before my time, there is a real basis for the expression “running around like a chicken with its head chopped off.” Sounds like a prior generation had really fresh meat.


15 posted on 11/17/2024 9:38:08 AM PST by ChessExpert (The Democratic party must be destroyed.)
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To: Brian Griffin

“I suspect pills are culprits too.”

Watching T.V. I’m amazed by how many ads I see for medical problems and drugs (oral or injection). I’m not sure what to think of a particular problem and a particular shot.

What happens when you take multiple medications? I’m pretty confident that the medical community cannot keep up with the possible interactions.


16 posted on 11/17/2024 9:45:18 AM PST by ChessExpert (The Democratic party must be destroyed.)
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To: Navy Patriot

Makes for a good headline but this isn’t really accurate. The United States isn’t even in the top 10 fattest countries. It’s mostly Pacific Islanders and some Middle East countries in the top 10.


17 posted on 11/17/2024 9:50:19 AM PST by airplaneguy
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To: ChessExpert
Watching T.V. I’m amazed by how many ads I see for medical problems and drugs (oral or injection). I’m not sure what to think of a particular problem and a particular shot.

If suddenly those ads went away, what would happen to the bottom lines of those TV companies? Perhaps the ads are the only thing keeping the legacy corporate media afloat.

18 posted on 11/17/2024 9:50:25 AM PST by dfwgator (Endut! Hoch Hech!)
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To: airplaneguy

We certainly are the fattest industrial country.


19 posted on 11/17/2024 9:51:33 AM PST by dfwgator (Endut! Hoch Hech!)
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To: Navy Patriot

LOL! Great article and they speak the truth - we are a nation that has overweight and in some cases obese people.


20 posted on 11/17/2024 9:53:13 AM PST by Fury
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