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Aides Struggling To Figure Out How To Break The News To Biden That He Dropped Out
The Babylon Bee ^

Posted on 07/22/2024 10:25:35 AM PDT by RoosterRedux

After the announcement broke that President Biden would no longer seek re-election, aides have struggled to figure out how exactly to break the news to President Biden.

"Oh man, he's not going to like this," said longtime aide Sally Connors. "Maybe we can wait until after four, and then he won't remember?"

According to sources, aides plan to try to sandwich the news between bits of good news in an effort to soften the blow. "We could start off by reminding him that it's National Ice Cream Day," said aide Mike Thomas. "Then, breeze real fast through the 'you have dementia, no one likes you, your career is over, and your party betrayed you', then tell him that the cafeteria is serving shepherd's pie for lunch tomorrow? Eh?"

...

At publishing time, aides had decided to wait until tomorrow as the ice cream shop was out of chocolate chip, so today was just not a good day.

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Conspiracy; Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee

1 posted on 07/22/2024 10:25:35 AM PDT by RoosterRedux
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To: RoosterRedux

Try Fortune Cookies, where the entire batch has the same message.”You will be taking a long walk with a short peer.”


2 posted on 07/22/2024 10:28:09 AM PDT by lee martell
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To: RoosterRedux

The Bee is having lots of fun with this. 😄


3 posted on 07/22/2024 10:28:55 AM PDT by Allegra
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To: RoosterRedux

Just wait til Jill finds out!

Has Hunter offered Kamala his services yet?


4 posted on 07/22/2024 10:31:22 AM PDT by bigbob
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To: RoosterRedux
This is actually a very realistic possibility.

The best explanation for the reason that Biden is out sight is because they are trying to break the news to him and give him time to adjust to the fact that he has been involuntarily removed.

Joe Biden has always been a loose cannon.

Imagine what would happen if they put Biden on national TV and he denied having resigned from the campaign.

5 posted on 07/22/2024 10:36:23 AM PDT by rdcbn1
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To: RoosterRedux; lee martell; Allegra; bigbob; rdcbn1

On the serious side, if in fact Biden neither authored that X posting nor signed it because he was incapacitated and could not understand what he was doing, the Secret Service and/or FBI is obligated to arrest everyone involved.


6 posted on 07/22/2024 10:40:23 AM PDT by Enterprise
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To: Enterprise

Yeah, and the fact that this is a Bee comedy spoof is pretty amazing.


7 posted on 07/22/2024 10:44:47 AM PDT by rdcbn1
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To: RoosterRedux

Just viewed Lyndon Johnson’s speech to the nation on March 31, 1968 which I’m old enough to recall viewing it back then. No fan of LBJ but this was a sober, dignified speech and very presidential, to use that overused word. He announced he was not running for reelection.


8 posted on 07/22/2024 10:45:04 AM PDT by Deo volente ("When we see the image of a baby in the womb, we glimpse the majesty of God's creation." Pres. Trump)
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To: RoosterRedux

Just, “you gone” will do!


9 posted on 07/22/2024 10:45:39 AM PDT by The_Media_never_lie
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To: RoosterRedux

If anybody lives near the Biden home in Delaware they should be visiting all local funeral homes to gather intel.

Somebody needs to embalm the corpse.


10 posted on 07/22/2024 10:47:57 AM PDT by cgbg ("Our democracy" = Their Kleptocracy)
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To: RoosterRedux
Not to worry.

Even Joe will figure it out when he returns to the White house and sees a pile of his stuff on the lawn.

11 posted on 07/22/2024 10:51:08 AM PDT by ZOOKER (Until further notice the /s is implied...)
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To: Enterprise

Unfortunately, I get the strong impression that the average Secret Service Agent today, who might be about to grab some evil doer politician by the collar and drag him to justice, could very quickly be tamed and redirected if someone like Nancy Pelosi gives that Secret Service Agent a ‘very stern look, with eyebrow raised!

“Nancy: “And just what do you think you’re doing?”
Secret Service Agent: “Huh? Oh, I gotta make an arrest. This guy has been stealing BILLIONS from the US GOvt!
Nancy: You don’t ‘gotta’ do anything of the kind. That man is my friend. I vouch for his valor. Now uncuff him immediately!.. Or should I call your Supervisor?”
Secret Service Agent: “Yes, Ms Pelosi. Sorry for the intrusion!”


12 posted on 07/22/2024 10:51:24 AM PDT by lee martell
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To: RoosterRedux

IMO this is much closer to the truth than it is satire.


13 posted on 07/22/2024 10:56:46 AM PDT by Revel
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To: lee martell; null and void
Try Fortune Cookies, where the entire batch has the same message.”You will be taking a long walk with a short peer.”

🤔. . . 💡. . . 🍌. . . 😀

14 posted on 07/22/2024 11:00:11 AM PDT by Ezekiel (🆘️ "Come fly with US". 🔴 Ingenuity -- because the Son of David begins with MARS ♂️, aka every man)
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To: rdcbn1

The best comedy has a foundation in reality.


15 posted on 07/22/2024 11:47:16 AM PDT by MtnClimber (For photos of scenery and wildlife, click on my screen name for my FR home page. More photos added.)
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To: MtnClimber

With the Biden regime, reductio ad absurdum has never been so absurd.


16 posted on 07/22/2024 11:54:47 AM PDT by rdcbn1
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To: ZOOKER

Thanks for my biggest laugh of the day! :-D


17 posted on 07/22/2024 2:38:44 PM PDT by Nea Wood ( )
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To: RoosterRedux

The Bee is very on target.

There is also a Hitler rant on youtube where Hitler has a phone call with Biden. Funny but sad. We have a dementia addled lunatic in the office of the President.


18 posted on 07/22/2024 2:46:39 PM PDT by Texas resident (Biden=Obama=Jarrett=Soros)
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