Think Women Can't Do The Job? Here Are 12 Benefits Of Lady Secret Service Agents

The Bee ^ | July 16, 2024 | Staff

[Navy Patriot]

Female Secret Service agents have caught a lot of backhanded remarks as the country has reacted to the recent shooting of Donald Trump. Some people even seem to think having Lady Secret Service agents might not be the best idea in every situation. That's absolute hogwash!

We at the Babylon Bee understand the critical role female agents play in the Secret Service, so we've put together this listicle to help underline all of the special talents these ladies bring to the table:

1. They can hold up their little makeup mirror thingies to reflect the sun into the eyes of an assassin and blind him: He'll never see it coming.

2. They have no qualms about recklessly running over curbs or pedestrians while driving the getaway car: They'll do this during normal motorcades too, though, so it's a bit of a double-edged sword.

3. They have experience changing diapers: (Biden security detail only)

4. They'll always make sure that everyone is safe and that no one gets hurt by standing on a slightly inclined roof: Safety comes first!

5. They can do that cool move where the boy Secret Service agents lift them above their heads like cheerleaders to provide even more shielding to the president: Rah! Rah! Rah! ...

[SJackson]

Sorry, posted to wrong thread

[FatherofFive]

The Bee was mildly amusing at first. Their writers now are fkng hysterical.

But now they are just reporting the news!

[Chode]

They looked like Melissa McCartney and Amy Schumer playing cops...

[Navy Patriot]

Thanks, thinking of that, now I’ll be blind for the rest of the day.

[Dr. Franklin]

Sorry to say , but the women protecting president trump should not be in the position they are now
It just shows how unqualified they are for the job

Unless they are as tall as Trump is, they can't really protect him when needed. If Hillary still has SS protection, let all of the women portect her. They probably swing her way too.

[MayflowerMadam]

That’s a good one!

[Chode]

my bad...

[PTBAA]

Ouch baby, ouch!

[lurk]

It will take a few events similar to Saturday, when diversity hiring will begin wane.

[Navy Patriot]

Send Six over, she has a knack of making me see clearly, and my eyes feel so good!

[Colt1851Navy]

or Lizzo playing cops and robbers

[Navy Patriot]

I fear you are correct.

I would like to see policy failures like DEI vacated more rapidly.

[Chode]

on the way, she just got back from the beach...

https://live.cdn.renderosity.com/gallery/items/1782031/images/987353/e64f1053566eb69abfc0d8c42181d831_original.jpg

[Chode]

*

[Navy Patriot]

Thanks, I’m getting better already!

[Chode]

*

[Paal Gulli]

They do can a role in such operations.

The US Navy SEALs' "Black" Team has women operatives.

Black Team is an Advance Reconnaissance unit. The women always travel as a companion to a real SEAL to provide image softening. They are not "badged" (obviously) but they are functional intelligence operatives, so they're Spec "Ops" but not Spec "War."

So I can see where they could be valuable Secret Service assets in a low profile role.

But standing on the fender of the President's limo? Nodda chance.

[Rdct29]

I wonder why Biden has all large men guarding him. There’s no females around him in any video going back a long time. When he’s out in public he is surrounded by men.

[jmacusa]

LOL!!

[jmacusa]

Perhaps the female SS agents don’t like being around Joe when he gets ‘’handsy?’’