Posted on 05/26/2024 1:02:58 PM PDT by Fester Chugabrew
This man was in an accident and was required to fill out an insurance claim form. The insurance company asked for additional information. In reply he said the following:
"I am writing in response to your request for additional information for Block 3 of the accident reporting form. I put "Poor Planning" as the cause of the accident. You stated in your letter that I should explain more fully. I trust the following details will be sufficient.
I am an amateur radio operator. On the day of my accident I was working alone on the top of my new, 80-foot radio tower. As I completed my work, I discovered that over the course of construction of the tower I had brought up approximately 300 pounds of tools and spare hardware.
Rather than carry the now unneeded tools and materials down by hand, I decided to lower the items in a small barrel by using a pulley which was attached to the gin pole at the top of the tower. Securing the rope at ground level, I went to the top of the tower and loaded the tools and materials into the barrel.
I then went back down the tower and untied the rope to ensure a slow descent of the barrel. You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh only 155 pounds. Due to my surprise at being jerked of the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope.
Needless to say, I proceed at a rather rapid rate up the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40-foot level I met the barrel coming down. This explains my fractured skull and broken collarbone.
Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were embedded two-knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately by that time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold onto the rope in spite of my pain.
At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of tools hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Devoid of the weight of the tools, the barrel now weighed approximately 20 pounds. I refer you again to my weight of 155 pounds as reported in Block 11 of the report.
As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40-foot level I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for two fractured ankles and the lacerations on my legs and lower body.
The encounter with the barrel slowed me down enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of tools and, fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked.
I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on that pile of tools in pain and unable to stand, and watching the empty barrel 80 feet above, I again lost my presence of mind and let go of the rope."
Great joke. I love it.
Do you remember Jerry Clower? He told basically the same story about himself and Marcell Ledbetter trying to get a piano out of a second-story window using a pulley on the roof. Jerry was hanging out the window as Marcell went up, then down...
Jerry ended the story by saying he ran downstairs and started patting the lifeless Marcell’s hands and face, crying hysterically and saying, “Marcell! Speak to me! Say something!” To which Marcell replied, “Why should I say anything to you? I passed you twice up there and you didn’t say NOTHIN’!”
LOL!
Have a great week, FRiend. :-)
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