Posted on 05/03/2024 8:00:19 AM PDT by Twotone
U.S. — A group of devout Christian missionaries has arrived all the way from Africa to reach the United Methodist Church and tell them about the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
Upon hearing of the UMC's beliefs on life and social issues, a group of African believers felt a strong prodding from the Holy Spirit to venture into an entirely foreign culture and bring the Gospel to a dark and godless place.
"If we do not go, who will?" asked Abosede Adeyemi, a Nigerian Christian burdened to reach lost Americans. "These United Methodists are in urgent need of the Good News. It appears they have never read a Bible before. That is why we are launching a mission deep into the heart of the United States to tell them about Jesus Christ."
Adeyemi's church held several nights of prayer and fasting in preparation for sending off the team of missionaries. "God be with them," said church member Davu Negedu. "America is a dangerous, unpredictable place, but the Lord has commanded us to go into all the world and preach the Gospel, so we will send these people to the United Methodist Church to teach them what the Bible says."
Though the church had concerns about the missionaries' safety in the United States, everyone was joyful in fulfilling Christ's Great Commission, even to the unchurched masses of the United Methodist Church.
At publishing time, the African church was already preparing another missionary trip to take the Gospel to Andy Stanley.
This isn’t really satire at this point. It needs to happen, and is starting to happen already. (I’m on the board of an international Christian outreach based in the US; our converts and native leaders in West Africa are pushing forward plans to set up their own outreach stations and share the Gospel in dark, godless places like England and other European countries.)
If I understand things, this is not necessarily satire.
Doesn’t belong in the Bee — reverse missions are actually happening.
I commented to my wife the other day that our church should be sending missionaries to East Boise and the North End of Boise, as they are “progressive” strongholds in the area. (I use the term strongholds as it also relates to what is happening in the spiritual realm in those areas.)
Don’t need to travel to Africa or South America! Plenty of work right here.
Don’t need to travel to Africa or South America! Plenty of work right here.
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An who brought those here to the USA
after Columbus sailed in 1492.
The Bee is morphing from a satire site to a real news site.
The Methodist Church in my town holds two separate services on Sunday mornings. One is a traditional service and the other is a liberal service.
That’s one way of doing it, I guess.
Concur. Of the three Methodist churches in my home town, the liberal one is dying. The second one is hanging on and the third one has joined the new Global methodist church and is growing very well. Interestingly enough, the one that joined the Global Methodist church was the largest and most established. Now a lot of their new growth are people like me that just joined because my church voted to stay. In a good manner, were are called the refugees and refer to ourselves the same.
Here is another point, the traditionalist that left the UMC for the most part are the ones that tithe (give 10% of income). So the churches we left have seen a great decrease in revenue and my new church is actually having a hard time ensuring that the new found funds are used appropriately. OBTW, the Global Methodist Church has organized so that that they hopefully will not fall into the old organization. The Global Methodist Church has put in its charter that it will not require funds from the individual church of more than 1% of church offerings. This was a big friction point while I was a UMC member, because the UMC required about 10% of offerings and funded "BS" and liberal causes. I have glossed over some details, because who wants to wander through that?
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