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8 Handy Tricks Women Can Use To Beat Trans Athletes
The Bee ^
| April26, 2024
| Staff
Posted on 04/26/2024 2:42:50 PM PDT by Navy Patriot
It's the dawn of a new era in women's athletics, as they are now open to dudes! While the playing field may seem tilted unfairly, there are some foolproof tactics women can use to make things more even.
The Babylon Bee is here to help female athletes gain an advantage with the following list of useful tricks:
1. Punch them in the Adam's apple: If he can't breathe, he can't physically dominate you.
2. Throw them off their game by saying J.K. Rowling is your favorite author: It may make them angry, but they'll become so unhinged that they'll lose focus.
3. Hold up a copy of a Biology 101 textbook: They'll hiss and recoil in terror, giving you the upper hand.
4. Misquote lines from The Lord of the Rings: No man will be able to resist correcting you.
5. Distract them with a pan of sizzling bacon: It's the Kryptonite of every man.
6. Pull their beard hair: You have no idea how much that hurts.
7. Start playing Tombstone on the Jumbotron: The movie has a naturally hypnotic effect on men.
8. Kick them in the nuts: Game over.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
TOPICS: Education; History; Sports
KEYWORDS: humor; trans
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Timely advice!
To: Navy Patriot
2
posted on
04/26/2024 2:47:46 PM PDT
by
EvilCapitalist
(Pets are no substitute for children)
To: Navy Patriot
Start with # 8 followed by # 1. game over
3
posted on
04/26/2024 2:52:12 PM PDT
by
GreyFriar
(Spearhead - 3rd Armored Division 75-78 & 83-87)
To: Navy Patriot
Ra ra ree
Kick him in the knee
Ra ra rass
Kick him in the berries
4
posted on
04/26/2024 2:52:33 PM PDT
by
Libloather
(Why do climate change hoax deniers live in mansions on the beach?)
To: Navy Patriot
I doubt trans athletes can beat women at women’s gymnastics. What other sports can women dominate?
To: Navy Patriot
Punch them in the Adam's apple: If he can't breathe, he can't physically dominate you. Throw them off their game by saying J.K. Rowling is your favorite author: It may make them angry, but they'll become so unhinged that they'll lose focus.
Say you "self identify" as a peaceful person then knee the guy. While he's rolling around on the ground in pain, remind him YOU self identify as a peaceful person and he's to address you as Mother Teresa...
6
posted on
04/26/2024 3:22:52 PM PDT
by
GOPJ
(.Has Nancy Pelosi called for the leader of Hamas to step down yet? If not, why not?)
To: nickcarraway
You would be wrong Nick, muscle strength is critical in women's gymnastics.
But it would be fun to watch one split the beam.
7
posted on
04/26/2024 3:39:15 PM PDT
by
Navy Patriot
(Celebrate Decivilization)
To: EvilCapitalist
#8. Recommend a tampon for their prostate cancer.
8
posted on
04/26/2024 3:39:33 PM PDT
by
maddog55
(The only thing systemic in America is the left's hatred of it!)
To: GOPJ
9
posted on
04/26/2024 3:39:43 PM PDT
by
Navy Patriot
(Celebrate Decivilization)
To: Navy Patriot
10
posted on
04/26/2024 3:40:03 PM PDT
by
Rummyfan
(In any war between the civilized man and the savage, support the civilized man.)
To: Navy Patriot
Liquid Heat in their jocks
11
posted on
04/26/2024 3:55:36 PM PDT
by
Zathras
To: Navy Patriot
yeah, like the Tonya Harding 6000...
12
posted on
04/26/2024 4:02:01 PM PDT
by
Chode
(there is no fall back position, there's no rally point, there is no LZ... we're on our own. #FJB)
To: EvilCapitalist
I think the bacon is more of the sirens’ song than Kryptonite. I’d run the Argo onto the shore to get a few pieces.
13
posted on
04/26/2024 4:19:36 PM PDT
by
KarlInOhio
(Democrats' version of MAGA: Making America the Gulag Archipelago. Now with "Formal Deprogramming")
To: Navy Patriot
First thing I thought of was #8, Kick them in the nuts.
What surprises me about all of this is that there’s evidently no young men these days to take care of these freak boys. You would think they would do it for the girls. One dude could have his choice of dating any one of most of the female athletes.
14
posted on
04/26/2024 4:29:11 PM PDT
by
Pollard
( )
To: Navy Patriot
#1 should be “kick her in the balls”
15
posted on
04/26/2024 4:45:57 PM PDT
by
Mr. K
(No consequence of repealing Obamacare is worse than Obamacare)
To: KarlInOhio
I sometimes worry about islam really catching on here in the States, but then I realize if the American public realized they would have to give up dogs, and bacon, I think they would soundly reject islam.
16
posted on
04/26/2024 6:02:17 PM PDT
by
EvilCapitalist
(Pets are no substitute for children)
To: nickcarraway
As a (mostly) former firearms instructor, I can say that women make good marks, uh, persons. They tend to have better fine motor skills than men, for the most part.
Men also sometimes bring the wrong attitude. They think that watching Rambo movies teaches them “skillz,” and they’re wrong.
To: AdmSmith; AnonymousConservative; Arthur Wildfire! March; Berosus; Bockscar; BraveMan; cardinal4; ...
#1 Elect and support people who oppose ******* trans policies, and #2 remove from power all who do.
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- Lesbian model-turned DEI manager is fired by university for posing in front of Israeli flag emblazoned with swastikas - and is now suing over claims her free speech rights were violated (Minnesota) [04/27/2024]
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- Afroman - Hunter Got High [04/26/2024]
18
posted on
04/27/2024 7:42:37 AM PDT
by
SunkenCiv
(Putin should skip ahead to where he kills himself in the bunker.)
To: AdmSmith; AnonymousConservative; Arthur Wildfire! March; Berosus; Bockscar; BraveMan; cardinal4; ...
Whoops, editing brain fart -- s/b #1 Elect and support people who oppose ******* trans policies, and #2 remove from power all who try to implement them.
19
posted on
04/27/2024 7:43:39 AM PDT
by
SunkenCiv
(Putin should skip ahead to where he kills himself in the bunker.)
To: Navy Patriot
Ah, I thought it would be to use tools.
20
posted on
04/27/2024 4:21:27 PM PDT
by
lepton
("It is useless to attempt to reason a man out of a thing he was never reasoned into"--Jonathan Swift)
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