Posted on 02/07/2024 3:15:36 PM PST by nickcarraway
DEAR ABBY: My son and daughter-in-law are in their early 30s. They have a 5-year-old child who hasn’t seen a doctor since infancy. They opted not to vaccinate. Although my husband and I do not agree with it, we keep our mouths shut.
Our precious granddaughter has been sick with a severe cough and fever on and off for close to two months. Although they have health insurance, they refuse to take her to a doctor. They treat her with over-the-counter meds and holistic remedies.
I finally told my daughter-in-law I felt it was negligence to not take the child to a pediatrician. The other grandmother feels the same way I do. Now I’m being “canceled” for finally expressing how I feel. I am disconsolate with the thought that they would actually do that to me. I did apologize for my choice of words and the way I said them.
What else can I do to make things right again? My son is no help. He doesn’t go against his wife for any reason. -- HEARTBROKEN NANA IN FLORIDA
DEAR NANA: If I read your letter correctly, you stated that your grandchild has had no vaccinations. Nothing to prevent whooping cough, diphtheria, measles, chickenpox or polio. To me, that describes GROSS negligence. Because your henpecked son refuses to step in, you may have to accept there is nothing you or the other grandmother can do to “make things right again.” But the two of you COULD contact child protective services and ask if they agree that what’s happening is negligence.
There are a lot of types of doctors out there. If one looks, they can usually find the right one.
Bing copilot Response:
I understand that this situation has been difficult for you. Here are some tips to help mend your relationship with your daughter-in-law:
1. **Respect Your Child’s Choice**:
- Remember that your child loves your daughter-in-law, even if you don’t fully understand their perspective.
- Avoid saying negative things about her to your child. Instead, find constructive ways to express your concerns or boundaries.
- Stay neutral and refrain from pushing your child away due to disagreements.
2. **Stay Cordial and Polite**:
- Be polite and respectful when interacting with your daughter-in-law. Treat her like an acquaintance, even if you’re not particularly close.
- If she behaves rudely, address it calmly. For example, if she curses in front of kids, you can say, “Can we watch the language while the kids are here? They get into trouble for saying that word.”
- Sometimes, daughter-in-laws may feel threatened or insecure, leading to rude behavior.
3. **Set Clear Boundaries**:
- Establish boundaries early on. Let her know what you will and won’t tolerate.
- If she makes snide remarks about other family members, respond calmly but firmly. For instance, “She may not have much fashion sense, but she is one of the sweetest people I know.”
- If she drops by unannounced, politely decline: “I’m sorry, I’m just about to run errands.”
Remember, relationships take effort from both sides. While you’ve already apologized, consider finding common ground and focusing on positive interactions. It’s essential to maintain open communication and respect each other’s perspectives. 🌟¹²³
**Summary:** To mend things, continue being respectful, set boundaries, and seek opportunities for positive connections.
Source: Conversation with Bing, 2/7/2024
(1) How to Deal with a Difficult Daughter-in-Law: 8 Expert Tips - wikiHow. https://www.wikihow.com/Deal-With-a-Difficult-Daughter-in-Law.
(2) How To Deal With a Controlling Daughter-In-Law (9 Proven Tips). https://liveboldandbloom.com/06/relationships/controlling-daughter-in-law.
(3) How to build a positive relationship with your daughter-in-law. https://www.gransnet.com/relationships/daughter-in-law-relationship.
Hotline it. Or get someone to hotline it. Two months? She could die.
whoa. POS abby and her retarded letter writer can drop dead.
This can be pretty complicated. Refusal to vaccinate a child with vaccines that have been tested and proven to be effective could be a form of neglect, but I would think that charges could only be brought if the child dies or is seriously harmed by a preventable disease, which puts it in the “too little, too late” category. This obviously would not apply to unproven and potentially harmful vaccines for diseases that pose little danger to children, like COVID.
What is more concerning is the refusal of the parents to have a seriously sick child be given competent and life-saving medical attention. This could be, and has been, successfully prosecuted in a court, or at least justify a call to CPS.
Fake Dear Abby
....clickbait....made up story...but scenario probably occurs often enough to make up hypothetical situation for Abby to address and get “clicks’
Beat This Guy by 10m.
“Dear Abby: my stupid son and daughter-in-law haven’t even gotten their child, my dear grandchild, vaccinated against Covid. Covid!!! What are they thinking? Don’t they know it keeps the neighbors and the dogs safe when everyone gets jabbed??? The CDC says it’s true. So we told them them were aholes and now they won’t even talk to us. Can you even believe that? What do we do, Abby (wrings hands)?”
“Dear concerned granny: MYOB. That you freaked and ruined the familial relationship by sticking your nose into someplace it doesn’t belong will end poorly for you. But the saving grace is the 5 to 6 Covid shots you’ve taken will probably end your life sometime soon so then you don’t have to think about it. Darwin’s law always wins “
Not your kid.
Nanna needs to shut her pie hole and stop trying to elevate herself with stupid crap.
And what does anti-vax have to do with it?
If Nanna wants to pay for the medical bill, and take full responsibility and sign the paperwork that she is 100% liable for anything that follows (side effects), than she can say something. Shy of that, she’s just a stupid good idea fairy that isn’t willing to put her pocketbook where her mouth is.
I'll bet you're right.
And speaking of fake, "Abigail Van Buren"--real name Pauline Friedman--died in 2013 (RIP), so she didn't write it, and I'll bet it never happened. (Too perfect.)
In another sense, you can't make this stuff up. Her twin sister, Esther, wrote the "Ann Landers" column, and they were competitive with each other for years before reconciling.
Dear Nana,
Not much can be done for a cough except non-medical intervention such as cold mist vaporizer and such. Fevers usually should be allowed to run their course. If she is not exposed to the diseases that are part of the standard childhood immunizations she should be fine. When it is time for her to start school they may find it unlikely to get an exemption.
In other words. MYOB and calm down.
Most likely.
That’s true.
Actually they don't. Amish and other groups prove that. Fact is people my age got very few vaccines until we enlisted, we usually waited until some one nearby got measles, chicken pox, mumps or what ever and just exposed everyone. I did get smallpox at school but my younger sister never did.
I haven't taken any vaccine in near 40 years and did not get Covid tho all my kids did and they were vaccine free as well.
gee, I wonder why?? what an idiotic statement
amen!
Go ahead granny...make it so you will never be allowed to see your grandchild....
According to the CDC they recommend 74 different shots and vaccination for kids now that might be medical abuse.
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