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Colorado Supreme Court Demands Jack Phillips Bake Cake To Celebrate Trump Ruling
The Bee ^ | December 20, 2023 | Staff

Posted on 12/20/2023 1:25:44 PM PST by Navy Patriot

DENVER, CO — In a 4-3 decision, the Colorado Supreme Court will require Masterpiece Cakeshop owner Jack Phillips must bake a celebration cake honoring the Colorado Supreme Court's decision to remove Trump from the ballot.

"The cake must have the words 'Dump Trump' in giant red letters," said Justice Richard Gabriel in his opinion. "No wait — have it say DRUMPF! HA! Classic. And put some little rainbow flags and Palestinian flags all over it. It is the opinion of the court that failure to bake this cake for us constitutes illegal discrimination."

Justice Gabriel then banged his gavel loudly to make it official.

"Oh, and it should be chocolate. With buttercream frosting and sprinkles. It's the law now because I said it."

The court will give Phillips one week to comply with the ruling or be faced with a mob of Antifa activists throwing bricks outside his shop. "Please don't hurt me!" cried a shaking Jack Phillips. "And please spare my windows! I just replaced them after last week's mob!"

At publishing time, Jack Phillips' legal team had confirmed they would be appealing the decision.

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Education; Food; History
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; satire
4-3, Pretty sure Phillips will prevail at SCOTUS.
1 posted on 12/20/2023 1:25:44 PM PST by Navy Patriot
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To: Navy Patriot

Whatever The Babylon Bee is paying their writers it isn’t enough. SMH


2 posted on 12/20/2023 1:40:23 PM PST by V_TWIN (America...so great even the people that hate it refuse to leave!)
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To: Navy Patriot

Colorado Supreme Court Demands Jack Phillips Bake Cake To Celebrate Trump Ruling

_____________________________________________

AHAHAHAHAHAA!


3 posted on 12/20/2023 3:00:44 PM PST by Bishop_Malachi (Liberal Socialism - A philosophy which advocates spreading a low standard of living equally.)
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To: Navy Patriot

Satire or an actual rulings from Colorado?

Hard to tell anymore :)


4 posted on 12/20/2023 3:21:24 PM PST by Zack Attack (✔)
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To: Zack Attack
It's a logical extrapolation or prediction of the future at printing.

We shouldn't have to wait long on The Bee's predictions, they are getting very accurate and events are speeding up.

5 posted on 12/20/2023 3:30:08 PM PST by Navy Patriot (Celebrate Decivilization)
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To: Navy Patriot

Forking hilarious! Now I want cake.


6 posted on 12/20/2023 3:40:48 PM PST by bigbob
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To: bigbob
Here you go!


7 posted on 12/20/2023 3:52:14 PM PST by Navy Patriot (Celebrate Decivilization)
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To: Navy Patriot

That reminds me of a joke:

What is the highlight of a bulemic’s birthday party?

The cake jumps out of the girl...


8 posted on 12/20/2023 3:53:47 PM PST by Texas resident (Biden=Obama=Jarrett=Soros)
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To: Texas resident

Actually, Pretty Good!


9 posted on 12/20/2023 3:55:01 PM PST by Navy Patriot (Celebrate Decivilization)
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To: Navy Patriot

Ha ha! It has to be hard to write satire these days but the Bee just keeps on hitting home runs. I just hope that it does not give the Colorado Court any ideas.


10 posted on 12/20/2023 5:06:46 PM PST by Colorado Doug (Now I know how the Indians felt to be sold out for a few beads and trinkets)
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To: Navy Patriot

I see Jack twice a month now, just for his amazing brownies. I’ll be sure to show him this, just in case he missed it.


11 posted on 12/20/2023 5:26:44 PM PST by LittleBillyInfidel (This tagline has been formatted to fit the screen. Some content has been edited.)
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