Fox News Fires The Only Reason People Watch Fox News (Babylon Bee)

Babylon Bee ^ | April 23, 2023 | Babylon Bee

[gattaca]

NEW YORK, NY — After months of controversy, Fox News has decided to part ways with the only reason anyone watches Fox News.

"Yes, we realize he delivered the most successful cable news program of all time, but we felt embarrassed by him at our Manhatten cocktail parties," said Fox News CEO Suzanne Scott. "When we tried to get invited to fancy, sophisticated gatherings, people said: 'Ewwww, aren't you the Tucker Carlson people?' and that made us feel sad. Curse you, Tucker, for making us feel sad!"

When reached for a reaction, Tucker simply stared dumbfoundedly at our reporter for several minutes.

Industry experts believe there are other factors that contributed to the alleged firing, including the fact that the company is too broke to pay him after settling a lawsuit with Dominion Voting Systems.

Progressives are reportedly overjoyed by the move, although many are saying Fox didn't go far enough by not killing Carlson in addition to firing him. "You mean he's still alive?" said Congresswoman AOC. "Tucker being alive is fascism!"

At publishing time, producers were seen looking through files for another hot blonde to replace him with.

[DCBryan1]

Fox is suicidal. They’ll probably replace Tucker with Geraldo.

Or the completely idiotic Juan Williams.

[Travis McGee]

[budj]

Wait, I thought The BEE was supposed to be sarcasm, not real!

[bitt]

P

[Missouri gal]

The Dominion lawsuit. Fox probably agreed to firing Tucker as part of the settlement. No worries wherever Tucker goes, his audience will follow. There are no replacements for him that will garner a fraction.

[windsorknot]

Did Carlson know about this when he did his last show this past Friday? If so, it’s beyond odd that he made no mention of it.

[Dr.Deth]

“It’s like the Oprah Network firing Oprah”

- Chris Plante

[Dr.Deth]

No but he ate a sausage and pineapple pizza and stole 15 seconds from Vannity.

[GOPJ]

Those 'blond bimbos' at FOX are pretty smart and knowledgeable. Including Harris Faulkner (who is secretly a blond).

Lots of smart blond women at FOX - and yeah Harris Faulkner is one of 'em. (Intelligent - yes. Blond? Not so much...) And Kat and Dana and many more are first rate.

There's a point where too much femininity becomes toxic.

Tucker needs to be replaced with an intelligent conservative MAN. A man chosen on merit... not NEPO (powerful daddy) not 'of color' or of sexual kink... Jonathan Truley might be interesting every Tuesday night... Victor Davis Hanson two nights a week... with Steve Miller Mondays and Fridays... Fox should try these men out...

[Bob Ireland]

'Fox' who? 🤷‍♂️

I will likely still stick with Fox business, late afternoon. Tucker was about all that I watched on FNC in the evening anyway; Hannity is ecccchh - if only he would let his guests talk. Other issues about Hannity - ??

[Grampa Dave]

Tucker Carlson’s Fox News Exit Erases $590 Million in Value!

https://finance.yahoo.com/news/tucker-carlson-fox-news-exit-162319291.html

[SunkenCiv]

• Outraged patriots cancel Fox Nation subscriptions in droves in wake of Tucker news... here's how to cancel yours... [04/24/2023]
• Tucker Carlson's executive producer follows him in exit from Fox: report [04/24/2023]
• Fox stock sinks after Tucker Carlson departure [04/24/2023]
• Waving him goodbye: The View hosts, Jon Stewart lead liberal celebrity gloating over conservative Tucker Carlson's ouster from Fox [04/24/2023]
• From a bow-tie wearing conservative cub reporter to CNN's token right-winger and Crossfire humiliation at the hands of Jon Stewart - how Tucker Carlson came to dominate American media and reshape Fox News in his image [04/24/2023]
• Shame: Tucker Carlson OUT at Fox News; Bowing to the Leftist Mob? [04/24/2023]
• BREAKING: Could losing Tucker Carlson DESTROY Fox News? [04/24/2023]
• Breaking! Tucker Carlson Leaving Fox News (Developing) [04/24/2023]
• Tucker Carlson Leaving Fox News, Last Show Was Friday [04/24/2023]
• Drudge Siren: TUCKER OUT AT FOX [04/24/2023]
• Glenn Beck weighs in: This will KILL Fox [04/24/2023]

  ---

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• MSNBC's Weissmann: Government Should 'Step In' to Regulate Fox News [04/21/2023]

  ---

• Tucker Carlson OUT at Fox News - five days after the network paid $787million to settle Dominion lawsuit [04/24/2023]
• Cry Me A River: On MSNBC, Dominion Lawyer Claims $788 Million Settlement 'Bittersweet!' [04/24/2023]
• WAYNE ROOT: Fox News-Dominion Legal Settlement is Biggest Bait & Switch Scam in History [04/22/2023]
• Fox Stares Down $2.7 Billion Smartmatic Suit After Dominion Deal [04/21/2023]

  ---

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  ---

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  ---

• Re-election campaign manager (?) Susan Rice to step down as Biden domestic policy adviser [04/24/2023]

  ---

• TRUMP: 'The Dumbest Man on Television, Don Lemon, Has Finally Been Fired' [04/24/2023]
• UPDATE: CNN says Don Lemon lied about the way he was fired, did the most Don Lemon thing imaginable instead [04/24/2023]
• CNN insiders slam 'misogynistic, sexist, POS' Don Lemon as he's fired from network for 'losing the respect of women on staff' and for thinking being 'black and gay' gave him a 'get out of jail free card' [04/24/2023]
• UPDATE: CNN says Don Lemon lied about the way he was fired, did the most Don Lemon thing imaginable instead [04/24/2023]
• Don Lemon is FIRED by CNN: 'Stunned' host hits out at network for 'not having the decency' to tell him to his face - as his sexist on-air behavior finally catches up with him [04/24/2023]
• Fox News Fires The Only Reason People Watch Fox News (Babylon Bee) [04/24/2023]
• Tucker Carlson OUT at Fox News - five days after the network paid $787million to settle Dominion lawsuit [04/24/2023]
• Don Lemon says he has been fired from CNN [04/24/2023]
• BREAKING: Don Lemon out at CNN too [04/24/2023]
• Don Lemon abruptly ends segment when Vivek Ramaswamy schools him about history of gun control [04/21/2023]

  ---

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• Ray Epps Speaks Out on 60 Minutes [04/23/2023]

[thinden]

Please NO MORE BLOND BIMBOS... Hire on merit, IQ, knowledge and creativity...

Those ‘blond bimbos’ at FOX are pretty smart and knowledgeable. Including Harris Faulkner (who is secretly a blond).

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

harris identifies as a blond?

[Georgia Girl 2]

😂😂

[Pennsyltucky Boy]

Got to wonder haw this fits in with the Dominion settlement agreement. Was firing Carlson part of the settlement agreement? Or is Fox Corporate simply blaming Carlson for costing them hundreds of millions in settlement payments? Any way you look at it, the Dominion suit castes a deep shadow on Carlson’s firing.

[Trump Girl Kit Cat]

FOX did NOT even try to fight this OR gather information on the fraudulent election THEY CAVED and ousted their golden goose!! SCREW FOX, we are the ones who brought them to the dance, made them the successful network they are to be stabbed in the back!! The corporations nation wide WE ARE THE ONES who supported less regulations, less labor regulations, gave them the room to be successful and grow AND NOW they stab us in the back, I PRAY that Fox iis in the throws of their demise PLEASE anyone STILL tuning in to these bastards TURN THEM OFF, if 2020 was not enough for you PLEASE TURN THEM OFF!!!!

[cowboyusa]

😆😆

[nutmeg]

bookmark

[adorno]

harris identifies as a blond?

What??? No sense of humor? It was a joke, dude.

But, she does fit in with those 'blond bimbos'.